Ninja Skills

by Banned 14 replies
18
Forget IM...get some real ninja skills

#off topic forum #chuck norris #ninja skills
  • Three ways guaranteed to impress a woman;

    Tell her you are in the martial arts. In fact, keep insisting that she watch you throw high kicks.

    Out of the blue, tell her that you make a lot of money. Bragging is attractive to women.

    Tease her about her looks. Women always have high self esteem and can always take a joke about the way they look. Oh, and their age...guess high...it makes them feel wiser.

    One BONUS way to impress women. They love seeing guys flex their muscles. Just keep doing poses in front of them...in public...

    Eventually, they will melt in your arms.

    This was brought to you as a public service.

    By the way, some of the funniest jokes are Chuck Norris jokes. Anybody have one?
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
  • Chuck Norris jokes are here:
    Chuck Norris Facts |

    real American ninja here:
    Stephen K. Hayes | America's Original Ninja

  • Banned
    Chuck Norris has ninja skills.

    Chuck Norris has a beard.

    If I grow a beard...

    then I will have a beard.
    • [3] replies
    • Rumor has it that ChuckNorris.com is the only website in the world to have never been negatively affected by any of the recent Google updates (ie Panda, Penguin, etc), despite the fact that Google themselves are well aware of the copious amounts of spam keyword stuffing and affiliate links to Viagra pills and fake Rolex watches that Chuck uses on his site in order to generate extra side income.

      In fact, if you Google ANY keyword now, on ANY subject, ChuckNorris.com will appear in the #1 spot for that keyword (if you do that and don't see his site in the #1 spot, then it probably means that Google is having a temporary technical glitch, so just wait a few minutes and try again).
      • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • Chuck Norris has a beard. But he can use it as a fist. His beard doesn't get trimmed. Chuck Norris commands his beard to grow until he says "Enough!" and the beard stops growing.

      Meteors will never hit Chuck Norris...Professional Courtesy.

      Bullets don't bounce off Chuck Norris. They change their minds before they get too close.

      That's all I got.

      added later; Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. HE decides what time it is.
      Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
      There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
      Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
      Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

      Those are a few that made me laugh out loud.
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    • Ninjas have Norris skill.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

    There is no such thing as evolution, only a list of creatures chuck norris allows to live.
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  • Banned
    If I had a nickle for everytime someone compared me to Chuck Norris...
    • [1] reply
    • ... you'd be broke? (C'mon, you were expecting that from someone, I just got in first ).
    • Banned
      [DELETED]
  • I just figured it didn't even needed to be said.
  • LOL - that is an awesome post.
    • [1] reply
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