3 years ago, I was sick as a dog. My health was as bad as it had ever been. I
really didn't think I was going to last much longer. In fact, I almost wished I was
On the plus side, my business was doing great. I had more money than God.
Flash ahead to 2013. I am now pain free and in excellent health for almost 3
years. It'll be 3 years on September 5. Yes, I celebrate my anniversary.
Not only that, I have my first classical music CD out there and selling.
I am about to complete my first symphony.
My wife and I will be married 29 years on August 25 and we've never been
happier with each other.
I have a bunch of Magic the Gathering friends who I play with on Friday and
Saturday who just love me to pieces. Friday is "Win The Wags Lottery" night
and Saturday is the "Wonderful World Of Wags Legacy" as Sean calls it.
I've been told I'm the most fun player to play against. A night of Magic
without me just isn't a night of Magic.
I have everything a guy could possibly want in his life.
And I've never felt so lost in my life.
My business is non existent, through my own doing and fault so I'm not going
to blame Google or EZA or anything else. I should have adapted. I didn't.
But with all that I have, the fact that I am no longer contributing anything
financially to my family makes me feel pretty worthless. I am currently spending
most of my time at Elance looking for work. So far, no luck. There is so much
that I can do and do well, but when you're competing with people who are
bidding $6 for a writing job it's impossible to compete with that.
One guy is looking for jokes for a routine. I even sent him one as a show of
good faith and a show of my talent for free hoping that I'd get the gig. So
far, nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if he picked somebody else simply because
they bid $6.
I should be so happy right now, and yes, I'm trying to look at all the good
that I have in my life. And believe me, I have a ton of good. And I know there
are people who have it a whole lot worse than I do.
But a man needs to feel that he's worth something. For 10 years, I felt like
I was worth something. I single handed paid off our mortgage and credit
cards thanks to my business. I made it so that my daughter could go to
college debt free.
I'm trying to hold onto all of that, especially my good health which I so used
to take for granted.
It's just not easy.
Funny, years ago, all I had was money.
Now, I have everything but.
You think maybe God has a sense of humor?