Why women do not date Nice guys?!

by awledd
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I accidentally read this article and was LOL. Check it out:

12 Reasons Women Don't Date Nice Guys | YourTango
  • Profile picture of the author hck1
    Not true always in my opinion.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    That is an "article"? It seems more like a silly haphazard and off-the-wall blog post. I found that when I actively tried to date women, that was when I had more dates. Call it coincidence.
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      How many people actually wrote that article and where did the evidence come from?

      Sorry, I'm just wondering about the validity of it. It seems to have been penned my one person - "Lucia".

      I'm wondering just how much Lucia is really able to vouch for the entire female population.
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      • Profile picture of the author Brian John
        Originally Posted by Richard Van View Post

        How many people actually wrote that article and where did the evidence come from?
        Sorry, I'm just wondering about the validity of it. It seems to have been penned my one person - "Lucia".
        I'm wondering just how much Lucia is really able to vouch for the entire female population.
        it was written for one reason... Lessons of Love - Lucia: TV Dating/Relationship Expert. Advice for single men & women

        regarding just how valid all the points are...i don't think they really care.
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Well, I believe a man who is worth dating is a little of both. Let me explain...

          A man needs to be rugged, manly, strong, fearless and daring however, also needs to be kind, polite, gentle, tender and caring, but most of all, he needs the wisdom to know when to be which. Very, very important guys!


          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Well, I believe a man who is worth dating is a little of both. Let me explain...

            A man needs to be rugged, manly, strong, fearless and daring however, also needs to be kind, polite, gentle, tender and caring, but most of all, he needs the wisdom to know when to be which. Very, very important guys!


            Terra
            Terra; That's amazing. Because I'm continually referred to (by beautiful women) as rugged, manly, strong, fearless, daring, and yet..also kind, polite, gentle, tender and caring.

            Yup, that about sums it up. Oh, and humble....

            And non-manipulative.:rolleyes:
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            • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Terra; That's amazing. Because I'm continually referred to (by beautiful women) as rugged, manly, strong, fearless, daring, and yet..also kind, polite, gentle, tender and caring.

              Yup, that about sums it up. Oh, and humble....

              And non-manipulative.:rolleyes:
              The beautiful women of Vancouver talk about you all the time, if they're not dreamily looking at posters of you on the wall.
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          • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Well, I believe a man who is worth dating is a little of both. Let me explain...

            A man needs to be rugged, manly, strong, fearless and daring however, also needs to be kind, polite, gentle, tender and caring, but most of all, he needs the wisdom to know when to be which. Very, very important guys!


            Terra
            Terra,

            You might loose your woman card.

            You forgot that he must always put the toilet
            seat down, say no when you ask if it makes
            you look fat, open doors, do the honey do list,
            never look at another woman, and read your
            mind. Sheesh, I thought Sal trained you better.

            Dan

            PS. I've seen those pictures of Claude in Vancouver.
            And those women dreamily looking at the pictures.
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            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              Terra,

              You might loose your woman card.
              Me? Miss girlie-girl who enjoys her femininity? Never gonna happen!

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              You forgot that he must always put the toilet
              seat down,
              That falls under polite,

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              say no when you ask if it makes
              you look fat,
              that falls under kind and gentle,

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              open doors,
              Under polite again,

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              do the honey do list,
              Under kind,

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              never look at another woman,
              Okay, that has nothing to do with a woman card. I'd never ask a man to never look at another woman again. Expecting the impossible will only lead to disappointment and heartbreak. Women should be more mature than that.

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              and read your
              mind.
              Okay, asking the impossible again. I'd never expect that, however, I would expect him to study me and have a good idea of how my mind works, so we'll throw that in the wisdom category.

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              Sheesh, I thought Sal trained you better.
              Oh, she did, but in other aspects we haven't discussed here.

              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              Dan

              PS. I've seen those pictures of Claude in Vancouver.
              And those women dreamily looking at the pictures.
              I'll just have to take your word for that one. :p

              Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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    I think Neil Strauss put it best:

    “The dating dichotomy is not between good guys and bad guys or nice guys and mean guys. It's between weak men and strong men.”
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

       
      I think Neil Strauss put it best:

      "The dating dichotomy is not between good guys and bad guys or nice guys and mean guys. It's between weak men and strong men."
      I like that quote. In all my previous lives, I've been a woman, so I can vouch for the validity of this quote.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I like that quote. In all my previous lives, I've been a woman, so I can vouch for the validity of this quote.

        Just your previous lives?


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      • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
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        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I like that quote. In all my previous lives, I've been a woman, so I can vouch for the validity of this quote.
        **Rumour mill springs into action**

        NEWS BULLETIN - Claude's (or should that be Claudette's) inbox is red hot as he/she fends off dinner date requests.


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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

          **Rumour mill springs into action**

          NEWS BULLETIN - Claude's (or should that be Claudette's) inbox is red hot
          Teee Heee! You said my "inbox is red hot". :rolleyes:


          Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

          I can see it now. Pen Name: Clyde DeCarlo - The next David DeAngelo
          I should call myself Les Littlemember. and advertise "If a guy named Les Littlemember can get girls with these techniques, you can too"

          I've given this a lot of thought.
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I like that quote. In all my previous lives, I've been a woman, so I can vouch for the validity of this quote.
        I can see it now. Pen Name: Clyde DeCarlo - The next David DeAngelo
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        • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
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          Don't look now, but his name is an anagram of Dahlia Cute-Crew
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I'd call that a pretty close assessment to why women look for the men they do - but not sure what is meant by "nice guy" here. Sounds like they are talking about sedentary whimps with asthma. I've known a lot of really very kewl nice guys. Don't know why only the really meek dudes get characterized as "nice".
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Sounds like they are talking about sedentary whimps with asthma.
      Yes but if you had asthma, you might well be a bit sedentary. Asthmatics don't make a habit of marathon running.

      Doesn't make you a wimp does it?
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by Richard Van View Post

        Yes but if you had asthma, you might well be a bit sedentary. Asthmatics don't make a habit of marathon running.

        Doesn't make you a wimp does it?
        Uh.........thanks, I know all about asthma. My parents were told I wouldn't make it through high school. I was just giving the particulars on what it sounded like they were saying when they use the term "nice guys".
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      I'd call that a pretty close assessment to why women look for the men they do - but not sure what is meant by "nice guy" here. Sounds like they are talking about sedentary whimps with asthma. I've known a lot of really very kewl nice guys. Don't know why only the really meek dudes get characterized as "nice".
      I re-read that article after your stated agreement with it, and it leaves me perplexed since I respect your perspective. That opinion piece still strikes me as resembling a haphazard blog post more than an actual article. To me, it still seems to be random spillage of disjointed thoughts and dubious proclamations backed up with nothing and full of sound and fury...signifying nothing.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

        I re-read that article after your stated agreement with it, and it leaves me perplexed since I respect your perspective. That opinion piece still strikes me as resembling a haphazard blog post more than an actual article. To me, it still seems to be random spillage of disjointed thoughts and dubious proclamations backed up with nothing and full of sound and fury...signifying nothing.
        I'm not sure it was trying to be an "article". It struck me as a list.....and as a list, it succeeded. Outlining what is meant by the "target" personality was a fail though.

        I'm taking it that the target personality is that of a guy that has exquisite manners, but never speaks up for himself (whimp), has more sedentary interests (not rugged), , and is a so conventional in his habits that he leaves no room for surprises. He's the type of guy with no real electricity so you always want to just be friends with him. They are really best left to "nice girls". Well - that description about nails it without the list.

        I think the list was right. It just ignores the fact that there's a whole lot of guys that don't fall into the "nice guy" category that also aren't "bad boys".
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    • Profile picture of the author lcombs
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      I'd call that a pretty close assessment to why women look for the men they do - but not sure what is meant by "nice guy" here. Sounds like they are talking about sedentary whimps with asthma. I've known a lot of really very kewl nice guys. Don't know why only the really meek dudes get characterized as "nice".
      That was my thought.
      "Nice" is not synonymous with "doormat", "Wimp", or "Weak".

      And "Bad Boys" may keep it "real", but, by definition, THEY'RE BAD.
      What pisses me off is listening to women bitch about what an ass their man is when they were drawn to him because he was an ass. Oh yeah! He kept it "real".
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by lcombs View Post

        That was my thought.
        "Nice" is not synonymous with "doormat", "Wimp", or "Weak".

        And "Bad Boys" may keep it "real", but, by definition, THEY'RE BAD.
        What pisses me off is listening to women bitch about what an ass their man is when they were drawn to him because he was an ass. Oh yeah! He kept it "real".
        I think they meant he was "interesting". The problem is, that the novelty wears off, and then they are stuck with a dysfunctional guy.

        What young women don't realize is that being the "Bad boy" is a mask. They are portraying someone they are not. And then after the first several dates, the girl realizes that the real person she's dating is just as uninteresting as the nice guy...except he's a loser.
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        • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
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          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


          . . . after the first several dates, the girl realizes that the real person she's dating is just as uninteresting as the nice guy...except he's a loser.
          . . . or a woman, in a previous life.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
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    Because "nice guys" aren't naughty enough ;
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  • Profile picture of the author bizteam
    Originally Posted by awledd View Post

    I accidentally read this article and was LOL. Check it out:

    12 Reasons Women Don't Date Nice Guys | YourTango
    Thanks for the article , But I think woman always prefer nice guyson date..
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        I accidentally read this article
        Sorry - but still chuckling over that part.
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      • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
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        Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

        There ya go. Leave it to Horny Devil :p

        To be quite honest, the men that my mother thought I should date (the nice guys), were completely uninteresting, boring, not fun, no sense of humor or adventure, and not particularly attractive (as in zero charisma).

        Sorry, but the word nice means many things to different people and not all of them are in any way appealing to some of us.
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      • Profile picture of the author itswack
        Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

        ^^^
        this is true in some cases
        nice guys finish last cause they never try to go the extra distance
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  • Profile picture of the author awledd
    Maybe nice guys are unattractive b/c they are predictable.
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Originally Posted by awledd View Post

      Maybe nice guys are unattractive b/c they are predictable.
      We all knew you were going to say that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Chosen2013
    Woman do date almost any guys, nice guys date not less than "bad boys".
    I'm not even going to read article with such a stupid title.
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    • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
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      Originally Posted by Chosen2013 View Post

      Woman do date almost any guys, nice guys date not less than "bad boys".
      I'm not even going to read article with such a stupid title.
      You're obviously not the chosen one then.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lucian Lada
    I take you people haven't read any of the comments found below the article - they are much more interesting than the article itself.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
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      Originally Posted by Lucian Lada View Post

      I take you people haven't read any of the comments found below the article - they are much more interesting than the article itself.
      What proportion of those guys are single, do you think?
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    I my experience, I've found that women like men who are assertive and with a bit of rogue in them.

    Not many want a yes man - until they marry you. LOL!

    The guy doesn't have to be a real bad boy but many women want a guy who can and does at least challenge them in an intellectual manner and doesn't always try to be agreeable - no matter what.

    The wife and I have gone almost 4 months without a serious argument. I asked her about it and she said she's simply tired and maybe there's some merit to many of my positions. LOL!

    Women, can't live with them can't live without them. LOL!
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by TLTheLiberator View Post

      <snip>
      Women, can't live with them can't live without them. LOL!
      This is the truest thing you've ever said, TL. I mean, who's going to make the sandwiches?
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Sure, she'll make another sandwich. And then:

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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    I guess the thing that annoys me most about that list is the implication that men are different from each other but women are all the same. That list is plain ridiculous on many levels. Reading it was like being in an elevator with someone with flatulence. Men and women are not all the same in their preferences and women's tastes are just as varied as men's. I guess the only thing good about the article or whatever it is, is that it is so blank, it inspires many readers to fill in the gaps with their own interpretations.
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  • Profile picture of the author kentah
    Most women judge a man's strength by how well he 'handles objections'. Some nice guyz tend to be apologetic and kiss ass a lot to avoid being rejected. Yet this is precisely the reason they get rejected.
    and yeah its true most of the bad boyz are just acting.
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    That's kind of like saying that guys are attracted to those women that other women would call "whores". Of course guys are attracted to those who are confident with their bodies and know what they want, but it's not necessarily who they want to end up with at the end of the day.

    I'm not a woman, but from observation it seems like they are more attracted to confidence. And a bad boy seems to always have confidence - whether it's earned or not is another story. Women don't necessarily want you to boss them around, but they don't want someone so lacking in confidence that they have to boss you around either.
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  • Profile picture of the author DR0832
    Woman under 28 usually only date nice guys. Woman over 28 realize that they have made a terrible decision over the past 10 years trying to date "bad boys" who shiznit all over them and usually start dating nice guys.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    There's a theme working for certain product promoters in the dating market. It's completely aimed at guys. The concept is to be as aloof and standoffish and even rude as possible to women and they'll love you for it.

    I guess that stuff appeals to guys that are like that. I'd also guess there are woman who dig that shtick too. It takes all kinds. After I accidentally noticed this thread and accidentally read the article I found it to be a cheap, spammy linkbait sorta thing without any real substance.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Ten
    What is the purpose of this? I know many nice and kind males who go on dates.
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  • Profile picture of the author DR0832
    Maybe they go on 1 or two dates but then get the nice guy card
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  • Profile picture of the author CupcakeCandyWolf
    Not in my case. The moment someone decides to be an asshole im like "seeya!!!"
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    I accidentally - lol - stumbled across Kezia Noble on YouTube.
    (Actually, she was referenced in a copywriting thread
    for killing it in the dating market. I can see why.)

    Anyway, she covers this topic very well. She makes
    the distinction between nice guys and good guys.

    In her framework (we have to describe phenomena
    somehow IMO), a nice guy is one she describes as
    "boring, forgettable and easily replaceable." Ouch.

    A good guy is not a rougue or bad boy, but he is
    not "boring, forgettable, and easily replaceable."

    And, yes (IMO) it a varies from person to person
    and how mentally healthy or unhealthy people are.
    I don't think it's healthy for a woman to like a
    "bad boy" and hope she can "change" him or "save" him.
    That's not the right kind of challenge to take on.

    In a healthy attraction, I think it has to do with
    survival of the species. I'd want a woman strong
    enough to be a partner and carry on if something
    happened to me. And, I reckon a woman wants
    a guy who is a good "hunter" and can provide food and
    shelter if they start having babies...

    Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    A person has to be strong to be nice. Being nasty and negative is almost always an inferior response to life's situations.
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