The Wrestling Thread

From Orlando, Florida. Original airdate: 5/24/09

Red d. Kiyoshi on the preshow, Red Star Press -- pin (**1/2).

Crowd points out that Amazing Red is, in fact, Amazing. Anyways, this was an extended Impact Special, though it was fun enough. Red looks a lot better with those new tights. He doesn't look like a backyard wrestler.
Foley arrives in a car. Hehe, Sting arrives in a bee coloured car and Foley arrives in an old banger.

Eric Young & Lethal Consequences d. Motor City Machine Guns & Sheikh Bashir, Lethal roll up -- pin Bashir (14:00, ***1/2).

Eric Young's back from being raped by Fat Joe. Anyways, this was fun and energetic and great way to start the show. Matches like that are what made me initially love TNA, though it lost all semblance of a tag team match halfway through as I seriously didn't know who the legal man was at the end. And Don West is more annoying than usual as his mic has been turned way up.

Taylor Wilde d. Daffney in a Monster's Ball match -- TKO (4:00, DUD).

Nothing match as calling it a "Monster's Ball" raised expectations that it couldn't meet. Post-match, Dr. Stevie wanted Abyss to put Wilde through some tacks, but he hesitated. Lauren then came out to stop him, so Stevie put his hands on her and Abyss chokeslammed him into the tacks for his troubles. Daffney losing this was weird, especially as it didn't really tie into the post-match stuff anyway.

Meanwhile, Borash says that two former world champs and a new Knockout will appear on Impact next week.

X-Division champion Suicide draws with Daniels -- time-limit draw (17:00, **).

MCMG caused Suicide to lose in 12 minutes, but Daniels didn't want the title that way, so he wanted 5 more minutes, in which he ran out of time. Poor guy. Match was OK, but not good.

Knockouts champion Angelina Love d. Awesome Kong, rollup -- pin (7:00, *).

End came when Love sprayed Kong, but nothing actually came out of the spray bottle, but Kong sold it anyway. Wow, I was predicting a Kong squash and this wasn't quite the Knockouts match I was expecting. Post-match, Angie eats a pair of Implant Busters.

Meanwhile, Sting promises to retire on his terms.

Samoa Joe w/ fear for cardio d. Kevin Nash, Coquina Clutch -- submission (8:00, DUD).

Joe needs a tan. Brown pants and his white flabby gut just don't look right. Anyways, I was surprised by Nash getting killed here and this was easily one of the worst matches of the night as Joe looked like crap. They actuality had a decent match at Turning Point all things considered. Joe went haywire post-match, killing referees then Steiner came out to check on Nash once Joe was gone. It's funny how Joe came across as more of a killer when he didn't have a knife.

Beer Money d. British Invasion in a 3D Invitational Final, Storm superkick -- pin Williams (12:00, ***).

Good tag action as it was entertaining. Beer Money are actuality better faces than heels right now as when Robert Roode got the hot tag, I thought I was watching a tag match from the Rock N Roll Express. Beer Money shake with 3D, post-match.

TNA Legends champion AJ Styles d. Booker T in a I Quit Match -- towel throw (16:00, ***).

Every time I hear Book's TNA theme, all I can think is DAMN I miss the Harlem Heat music. End came when Jenna Morasca threw in the towel. Anyways, this was a good match, one of Booker's best in TNA, but the finish turned me off big-time as "unrelated person throwing in a towel into the ring and the ref calling the match" is my least favorite finish ever. And the fact that this match ONLY existed to put over the Sharmelle/Jenna feud? Disgusting.

Sting d. TNA World champion Mick Foley, Kurt Angle, & Jeff Jarrett in a Ultimate Sacrifice Match, (14:00, ***).

End came when Sting suplexed Foley on the floor while Jarrett gave Angle a stroke off the middle rope onto a chair in the ring (SUPER CHAIR STROKE~!), but Sting jumped in and pinned Angle to become the new leader of the MEM, but not the champion (THAT DAMN ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST STING~!). Again, this was an entertaining match, but hated the dumb rule where you had to pin Foley to become champ. Even the ref looked confused when the bell rung. There was no indication on the television that you had to pin Foley to win the title, the whole idea was that each guy was sacrificing their stake to win the title not take Jeff Jarrett's stake away, or becoming a Mafia leader or retiring Sting for good.