May You Have Sodom . . . And Gomorrah, If He's Coming

by Horny Devil Banned

Posted: 10 years ago 14 replies

OFF TOPIC

New Year, bonhomie and all that. I would therefore like to extend to all my esteemed colleagues on the OTF of WF, my best wishes for famine, drought, bunions, a major gas explosion in your next door neighbours house, liver or heart disease (whichever one you got a bigger one of), a rat infestation, a washing machine fail when you're down to your last pair of minging pants, a major lice infestation for your children's scalps, your mother-in-law to camp up with you permanently, pestilence, storms, acid rain, a blowout on the free-way at 120mph, substantial tax hikes, your NFL team gets knocked out in the play-offs, one leg of your bed to collapse when you're just about to get it on for only the second time this year, volcanic lava flows (if you live in the vicinity), your pet gets squished by the refuse collectors this week, and the occasional mugging for you or your grandmother in early January.

Do you know it's quite easy to choke on regurgitated Christmas leftovers. Don't do it . . Oh, go on then! And keep away from squirrels. You don't know where their nuts have been.

Enjoy the New Year. I'll see you soon. Probably sooner than you think.

David Braybrooke 10 years ago

Wot a guy!
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." - Mark Russell
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- Horny Devil Banned 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by David Braybrooke
  
  Wot a guy!
  
  Yeah, great, but it's too far to come for just an extra sausage on your barbie. "Thanks" is good. But the Aussie dictionary is a tad strange I guess.
  
  Anyway, you've had your New Year. I'm just about to enjoy the fireworks here. The wife has asked me to change sides on the bed. In other words, fat muggins here has to sleep next to the draught. One Chance: no chance. A spectacular pyrotechnics display will occur in the Northern Hemisphere within the hour. Check Earthsky or your local news channel for updates.
  
  Thanks
  
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seasoned 10 years ago

Same to you! I DID have a squirrel infestation of sorts! It was like there was a meeting, and I caught it JUST as it broke up. Maybe 10 squirrels, that seemed to be about 2-3 tims the size of a normal squirrel started running to my home. hey played around a bit, and broke up. A group of maybe 6 ran away and then one stopped and ran back under my deck! I wish I videoed it. :/

steve
- Thanks
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Midnight Oil

10 years ago

What . . . no locusts or boils this year?

Thanks
1 reply

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Riptor

10 years ago

You missed out:

Ricketts
Black pox
Dysentery
Dropsy
Gangrene
Long Sickness
Milk Leg
Puking Fever
Scrumpox
Scurvy
Strangury

and those Bleeding Leeches, but I'll forgive you

Happy New Beer!

Thanks
2 replies

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Horny Devil

Banned 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Riptor

You missed out:

Ricketts
Black pox
Dysentery
Dropsy
Gangrene
Long Sickness
Milk Leg
Puking Fever
Scrumpox
Scurvy
Strangury

and those Bleeding Leeches, but I'll forgive you

Happy New Beer!

I can't list everyone's ailments, but you do have my sympathy. Do you have adequate health cover? If not, you've only yourself to blame.

[ 2 ] Thanks

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tagiscom 10 years ago

I have already been through being bitten by mozzies while trying to stop a psychotic dog from tearing down an old wooden fence on new years eve!

So l can cross that one off the list!

You know what they say Horney-Devil, no good deed goes unpunished? :rolleyes:

Shane
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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- Horny Devil Banned 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by tagiscom
  
  I have already been through being bitten by mozzies while trying to stop a psychotic dog from tearing down an old wooden fence on new years eve!
  
  Who said the dog was psychotic? Did you analyse the mutt, or did it analyse you whilst the mozzies were feasting on your Aussie veins?
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  tagiscom 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Horny Devil
  
  Who said the dog was psychotic? Did you analyse the mutt, or did it analyse you whilst the mozzies were feasting on your Aussie veins?
  
  It was psychotic, because it wouldn't stop for anything!!!!
  
  Analyse me, no, he was hell bent on munching its way through the old wooden planks that used to make up the fence!
  
  After l stopped him from getting through the main hole, he then tried to get under the fence further up!
  
  These things are like a bulldozer of steroids!
  
  First time, he knocked a few planks off, then after putting him back and firmly nailing them back, he punched his way through again, (or made a hole at the bottom).
  
  After that he basically went nuts, and to make a long story short the police put him back in his yard, and tied him up.
  
  He naturally ate through the rope and got through again.
  
  Then l put him in the garage with water, etc, (its hot in AU) and wired the gate shut with some more wood mesh.
  
  He pushed his way through that after an hour and then tried to get into the house!
  
  After realizing there wasn't any movement inside he smashed a few more boards off the fence to get back into his own property!
  
  The neighbor has been talked to, and the dog put elsewhere til the fence is fixed, (although it needs to be replaced).
  
  New Year from hell, after a year from hell!
  
  Although the mozzies did have a good new year. Well the ones l didn't squish!!!
  
  Shane
  
  Thanks
  
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Ricardo Furtado

10 years ago

Amazing. You would be able to write a Hollywood blockbuster horror film with ease.
And that is meant to be a compliment.
Happy New Year.
All the best. Regards.

Thanks
1 reply

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Ricardo Furtado

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tagiscom

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Ricardo Furtado

Amazing. You would be able to write a Hollywood blockbuster horror film with ease.
And that is meant to be a compliment.
Happy New Year.
All the best. Regards.

Thanks, my horoscope said today l am in for a windfall of some kind, might explain the dog from hell? :rolleyes:

Yep, l can see it now....

"PSYCHO DOG, WITH A VENGEANCE"! :rolleyes:

I just hope there is no part 2!

But he didn't wreck any of my Mothers plants, so if there is a next time, then it is off to the pound.

What scares me is there is a small opening, in the garage, and if he gets out, on to the road it could get ugly!

Although from what l have heard, 100 dogs did a runner last night, because of the fireworks. Thankfully they weren't the munching wood types!

Shane

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Kay King 10 years ago

I finished reading Patterson's "ZOO" last night - fits rights in with your best wishes here:p
- Thanks
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Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
***
It actually doesn't take much to be considered a 'difficult woman' -
that's why there are so many of us.
...jane goodall
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MissTerraK

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Horny Devil

New Year, bonhomie and all that. I would therefore like to extend to all my esteemed colleagues on the OTF of WF, my best wishes for famine, drought, bunions, a major gas explosion in your next door neighbours house, liver or heart disease (whichever one you got a bigger one of), a rat infestation, a washing machine fail when you're down to your last pair of minging pants, a major lice infestation for your children's scalps, your mother-in-law to camp up with you permanently, pestilence, storms, acid rain, a blowout on the free-way at 120mph, substantial tax hikes, your NFL team gets knocked out in the play-offs, one leg of your bed to collapse when you're just about to get it on for only the second time this year, volcanic lava flows (if you live in the vicinity), your pet gets squished by the refuse collectors this week, and the occasional mugging for you or your grandmother in early January.

Do you know it's quite easy to choke on regurgitated Christmas leftovers. Don't do it . . Oh, go on then! And keep away from squirrels. You don't know where their nuts have been.

Enjoy the New Year. I'll see you soon. Probably sooner than you think.

Whoa! Are you prophetic or what? That just happened this morning! Well, sort of...

It was a fire started by faulty electrical wiring, but there was an explosion, just the same!

Terra

Thanks
1 reply

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tagiscom

10 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Whoa! Are you prophetic or what? That just happened this morning! Well, sort of...

It was a fire started by faulty electrical wiring, but there was an explosion, just the same!

Terra

Hmmmm, psychotic, wood munching dogs, and electrical explosions!

I doubt that anyone could beat that, at least on new years eve???? :rolleyes:

Shane

Thanks

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May You Have Sodom . . . And Gomorrah, If He's Coming

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