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Claude - Caught When He Was Young

by bizgrower
22 replies
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http://www.rantsports.com/clubhouse/.../03/babySI.jpg
  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Fake pic. They didn't have color photography when he was that young. Hell, I'm not even sure magazines had been invented yet.
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    • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Fake pic. They didn't have color photography when he was that young. Hell, I'm not even sure magazines had been invented yet.
      They had photography when Claude was young?
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      I'm sure swim wear was more akin to this just before the first world war too.

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    • Profile picture of the author Kurt
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Fake pic. They didn't have color photography when he was that young. Hell, I'm not even sure magazines had been invented yet.
      The first picture of Claude was painted on a cave wall in France.
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

        The first picture of Claude was painted on a cave wall in France.
        Same one the Coneheads came from?

        http://www.nbcnews.com/science/scien...ce-f2D11603324
        (Ackroyd probably did derive the skit from this - my guess. lol)
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        • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
          They did have cameras in 1889, here is the original.




          The color one, was Photoshopped!

          This is the original trust me! :p


          Shane
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      The photo wasn't taken when I was a baby. It's not that color photography wasn't invented yet....it's that the world was in Black & White. Color wasn't discovered until the day The Wizard Of Oz was released. About 20 minutes into the first showing. That's why everything on the screen turned to color.

      Now, we take color for granted. But some of us old folks remember when everything was still black & white. It was called The Dark Ages.

      Study your science. It all becomes clear.

      Color was discovered at the same time the ten dimensions were discovered. And Mystics (who are masters at physics) tell us that other universes are still in black and white. That is why they are not in The Federation.

      That's right...there's a Federation.

      Time travels in an elliptical orbit through the multiverse. And we only see it in 3 dimensions..so we miss the "reemergence"... as foretold by the famous mystic, Illiterous.


      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Fake pic. They didn't have color photography when he was that young. Hell, I'm not even sure magazines had been invented yet.
      Sex hadn't even been invented yet. We still spawned in the ocean. Ahhhh, that takes me back.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        We still spawned in the ocean. Ahhhh, that takes me back.
        There's a creepy correctness to that first sentence. It strikes so accurately that it's a little offputting.
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        Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Claude had an attack of wind which caused The Big Bang.

          In the beginning there was Claude. And Claude moved upon the face of the Riffle and punched it repeatedly. After six days and six nights he stepped back to admire his work and saw that it was good.

          And then the Begatting started of which Claude took more than an active role.

          Excerpt from Stephen Hawkins new work: "One Call Universe"
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Not sure how much of a "Big Bang" he ever was. I can picture him as part of the primordial stew, though.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Not sure how much of a "Big Bang" he ever was. I can picture him as part of the primordial stew, though.
      I was actually an actor in The Big Bang in 1975. My costars, Myla Mounds and Pandora Peaks...were very nice. I had one line in the movie. It was "Honest, this has never happened to me before. The water was really cold". And then I whimpered. It was an ad lib.

      A star is born.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I was actually an actor in The Big Bang in 1975. My costars, Myla Mounds and Pandora Peaks...were very nice. I had one line in the movie. It was "Honest, this has never happened to me before. The water was really cold". And then I whimpered. It was an ad lib.

        A star is born.
        And then you limped off set, right?
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          And then you limped off set, right?
          Dan; No, I was in good health back then, and I didn't limp when I walked.

          By the way, I know you didn't intend for this to happen, but did you now that you can actually take that two different ways? Did you know that? OK, let me explain...



          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
          We still spawned in the ocean. Ahhhh, that takes me back.


          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          There's a creepy correctness to that first sentence. It strikes so accurately that it's a little offputting.
          I got it. I wonder if anyone else did.
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            <snip>but did you now that you can actually take that two different ways? <snip>
            I've heard the same said about you.
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            Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              I've heard the same said about you.
              Well, you know what they say; God gave you two eyes and one mouth..I can't finish because it's disgusting.

              And the fact that you get it...even disgusts me more.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    I've been around Claude. His wind causes more of an eggy musk. I don't think it could create a universe, but it can peel wallpaper.
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    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
    This whole thread is pretty disturbing.

    Everyone knows The Federation doesn't discriminate based on color. They hate bald spots though. Either put a tribble up there, or go the full Picard already.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

      This whole thread is pretty disturbing.

      Everyone knows The Federation doesn't discriminate based on color. They hate bald spots though. Either put a tribble up there, or go the full Picard already.
      Jack, you're going to want to be a bit more explicit than "up there." Claude's version of "up there" might just give you nightmares you can't shake for a lifetime.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

      This whole thread is pretty disturbing.

      Everyone knows The Federation doesn't discriminate based on color. They hate bald spots though. Either put a tribble up there, or go the full Picard already.
      Jack; You're kind of scaring me. Dan wanted me to do..what he called "The Full Picard". I asked him what it was (I was trembling)... and he told me it involved "putting tribbles up there"....and I started crying.

      Everyone! When Riffle tells you that he wants to go "Full Picard"..Run...run until you are out of breath. seek shelter...call for help.

      Because I can promise you one thing..those aren't tribbles.
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