Unsupportive spouse, anyone?

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I must find a way to create additional monies through the internet. My wife is incredibly unsupportive because she is convinced that every internet opportunity is a scam. We are in our 60's now and living paycheck to paycheck. Our 3 adult children are out of work and there are no jobs to be found.

Is there anyone else with an unsupportive spouse or partner? I feel like the only way to shut her up is to start making money. But after a brutal day at work, it takes positive energy to get online and begin the process...as all of you warriors know.

Just a little encouragement would be awesome from her. Any ideas? It's up to me to get things right financially and getting involved on WF is a huge step in the right direction. She thinks I'm spending money we don't have, talking to people who know nothing except how to take our money.

I'm not even sure now how I got turned on to WF, but it's been a great learning experience. If only my wife could see what I've seen....

Copierguy23
  • Profile picture of the author mistyone
    Hi Copierguy23

    I understand where you are coming from. It is difficult to fight negativity but I believe this is born out of ignorance and when or if, your wife takes the time to take an interest in what you are doing her attitude could likely change, as I am almost positive it will when you start to make money

    I have a similar situation in my household but I know that when I am earning good money that attitude will change, for sure

    Don't let it dampen your enthusiasm and keep working hard.

    Here is a nice quote for today:

    Don't sell me clothes, sell me a sharp appearance, style and attractiveness
    Don't sell me insurance, sell me peace of mind and a great future for my family and me
    Don't sell me a house, sell me contentment, a good investment and pride of ownership
    Don't sell me things, sell me ideals, feelings, self respect & happiness
    PLEASE DON'T SELL ME THINGS


    Cheers
    Viv
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Are your adult children living with you?

      Are they computer savvy?

      In my view, if you are working hard to support everyone, you have a right to do whatever you want in your spare time. Why not recruit the "children" to work with you to develop a plan for business online and divvy up the work and learning curves to speed up the process.

      Don't try to explain to someone who doesn't believe you can do it - you're wasting your breath. Just insist on your right to use your own time as you want - and then USE it.

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
        Kay,

        Enlisting ideas from my children is a great idea, especially when it comes to finding out what products are hot in their eyes. Thank you very much.
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    • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
      Viv,

      Thanks for your caring response. All I can do is keep my energy level high and stay focused. The rest will take care of itself.
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  • Profile picture of the author Edgar Moreno
    Kay made a great point. When I started in internet marketing and trying to make money online I couldn't have done it without my childhood friend. Spending all of my spare time alone and working on a computer can be draining but it helps to have someone there to help you out and keep you sane. I would recommend trying to get someone interested to join you and support you in your new business.
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    • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
      Edgar,

      You are spot on. It would be very helpful to find someone in my extended family or in my group of friends to share this with and to use as a sounding board. Thanks for your thoughts on this.
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  • Profile picture of the author huaiwudong
    Ask her to give you a chance to show her that IM can make real money. People will change when they see that IM is a legitimate, profitable business. I used to be very critical of my husband, now I've decided to join him in his IM endeavors.

    Cheers.
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    • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
      Cool,

      There IS light at the end of the tunnel (and it's not a train coming the other way!)
      Thank you!
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  • Profile picture of the author dorim
    My husband is not very supportive, but he leaves me alone to do my online "work" because I am making money; he just isn't interested in how I do it.
    I am sorry your wife isn't supportive, but don't give up. Just tell her to stop nagging.......
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  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    Unsupportive?

    What does that actually mean?

    It sounds to me like you are out all day and then disappear into the cyber world when you get home.

    Doesn't your wife deserve some support? Couldn't she be writing to an agony aunt right now complaining about her husband who is becoming a stranger absorbed in the internet rather than spending time with her?

    Have you set aside some quality time together? Have you actually had a reasoned discussion with your wife about what she wants in her life, compared it with what you want in yours and then worked out a methodology that could satisfy you both?

    To support you, your wife has to understand. To support her, you have to understand. With understanding could come support.
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    You might not like what I say - but I believe it.
    Build it, make money, then build some more
    Some old school smarts would help - and here's to Rob Toth for his help. Bloody good stuff, even the freebies!

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    • Profile picture of the author aliensong
      "Here is a nice quote for today:

      Don't sell me clothes, sell me a sharp appearance, style and attractiveness
      Don't sell me insurance, sell me peace of mind and a great future for my family and me
      Don't sell me a house, sell me contentment, a good investment and pride of ownership
      Don't sell me things, sell me ideals, feelings, self respect & happiness
      PLEASE DON'T SELL ME THINGS "

      Good Sentences! Very Classic ! Thanks !
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    • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
      Art;

      You don't hold back your punches...I appreciate that.
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    • Profile picture of the author reikidad1961
      Originally Posted by artwebster View Post

      Unsupportive?

      What does that actually mean?

      It sounds to me like you are out all day and then disappear into the cyber world when you get home.

      Doesn't your wife deserve some support? Couldn't she be writing to an agony aunt right now complaining about her husband who is becoming a stranger absorbed in the internet rather than spending time with her?

      Have you set aside some quality time together? Have you actually had a reasoned discussion with your wife about what she wants in her life, compared it with what you want in yours and then worked out a methodology that could satisfy you both?

      To support you, your wife has to understand. To support her, you have to understand. With understanding could come support.
      A bit harsh don't ya think?
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  • Profile picture of the author jessewrites
    Sounds like you're committed and determined. If you possess these qualities and consistently take action towards your IM goals, the sky's the limit. When I started writing, I kept most of my plans to myself until I started making money. You're right that money will quickly cure the skepticism. Keep at it!
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    • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
      Jesse;

      I will for sure keep at it...thanks....
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  • Profile picture of the author tlimstliy3
    Hi Copierguy,

    My husband was extremely unsupportive of any of my online stuff--my situation sounds similar to yours. He thought everything was a scam and I was wasting our money.

    This is what I did-- I did the online stuff late at night or early in the morning before work, or anytime he wasn't home--that way, he couldn't say it was taking time away from my other duties or him.

    Now that I make money, he is singing a different song. Honest to God, now he is wondering if he can try this so he can get out of his job.

    Please stay with it and do your best not to be discouraged.

    Like Victor Frankl, who survived the death camps of Nazi Germany said in Man's Search for Meaning:

    "he who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how"

    Take care and keep your chin up. If I can do it, anyone can!
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  • Profile picture of the author moralde
    Hi, my wife is not that 'unsupportive' but she does cringe inside when I tell her I spent some money to purchase something online which she thinks is not a necessity. I got this goal to really find something (and not fall for a scam) that will bring me good financial returns that will forever change her idea about online business.
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    • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
      Originally Posted by tlimstliy3 View Post

      Hi Copierguy,

      My husband was extremely unsupportive of any of my online stuff--my situation sounds similar to yours. He thought everything was a scam and I was wasting our money.

      This is what I did-- I did the online stuff late at night or early in the morning before work, or anytime he wasn't home--that way, he couldn't say it was taking time away from my other duties or him.

      Now that I make money, he is singing a different song. Honest to God, now he is wondering if he can try this so he can get out of his job.

      Please stay with it and do your best not to be discouraged.

      Like Victor Frankl, who survived the death camps of Nazi Germany said in Man's Search for Meaning:

      "he who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how"

      Take care and keep your chin up. If I can do it, anyone can!
      Originally Posted by moralde View Post

      Hi, my wife is not that 'unsupportive' but she does cringe inside when I tell her I spent some money to purchase something online which she thinks is not a necessity. I got this goal to really find something (and not fall for a scam) that will bring me good financial returns that will forever change her idea about online business.
      Ours situations are identical as are our goals...thank you!
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  • Profile picture of the author GFox
    For some reason, it seems as if most entrepreneurs encounter various levels of resistance in pursuit of their goals. Unfortunately the quarter shouting the loudest seem to always come from those whom you love the most, are closest to you and stand to benefit the most from and resulting success. Every last one of my fellow entrepreneur friends go through the same thing with their wives. Myself included. We remind each other that we need to remain rigidly focused on the task at hand and go forward with all of our might to achieve what we have set out to do. Remain focused, because you are on the right track.
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  • Profile picture of the author TWaldon
    Put a very specific plan together (written) and let her in on what you are doing, what you want to accomplish for the both of you and get your kids involved as well. That also means putting together a household budget, dealing with your creditors and letting them know your situation if necessary and having all your ducks in a row given your current situation. Give her every reason to trust you and don't do anything without her knowing that would break that trust.

    Often times spouses or loved ones are simply reacting to all the unknown's and especially when it comes to money. And rightfully so. But there are things that you can do to communicate to her that you have a specific time frame in mind for starting to generate revenue and are not spending funds you don't have to do something that she has no idea about. Show her the plan and make her part of the plan as well as your kids.

    If you do your best at trying to keep her in the know and are up front with her and have laser focus on doing the things you need to do with specific deadlines and timelines on getting results it will help out the situation. Keep her apprised of your progress visually. Have a Whiteboard that outlines what you have accomplished and things that you are working on along with what progress you are making to actually generating some business.

    That doesn't mean it is the answer that will necessarily make her completely happy but she will at least appreciate you being inclusive and wanting her to know this is not just a pie in the sky pipe dream that you are wasting money on.

    No matter what your situation, show her in a calm and professional demeanor that you want the best for your family and that in this economic climate that you have to rely on each other for the strength and support to get thru the good times and bad.

    It comes down to feeling secure and right now she doesn't. That makes it hard for both of you but you will get thur this and come out better for it if you can show her that you are going to do the things you need to do to get off the ground without jeapordizng your finances on things she has no idea about.

    Good Luck and DON'T give up! There is too much opportunity out there even in this economy to stop trying.

    All the Best!

    Best Regards,
    Tom Waldon
    GetGo Marketing
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    • Profile picture of the author lozz1960
      Maybe it would help to show her how many people are making money from IM and the sort of money that can be made. Good luck
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Enlisting ideas from my children is a great idea, especially when it comes to finding out what products are hot in their eyes. Thank you very much.
        That's a good start - but I repeat if they are unemployed this is also an opportunity for them and they are likely much more computer savvy from a technical standpoint (maybe not, just guessing on that).

        What if one of them found he/she was good at niche and keyword research and a couple of them good at writing content, and another interesting in marketing and promotion? Instead of outsourcing to build business faster you could create your own "home team".

        You don't have to reside in the same place to brainstorm or plan (skype is great), and they may not be interested. However, if they are out of work this could be a good answer for all if they are willing to give it a serious try.

        kay
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        Please do not 'release balloons' for celebrations. The balloons and trailing ribbons entangle birds and kill wildlife and livestock that think the balloons are food.
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        • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          Instead of outsourcing to build business faster you could create your own "home team".
          I can assure this works. I do this with my wife every single day: i do the hard work, she takes care of PR and accounting, product research. She is developing her first product right now and the reaction to her first autoresponder series is amazing. People do love her, she does some stuff i could never do in life. That's why i always say we work so well together.

          Anyway, at the begging she was a pain in the axx. But when my first site got up to 2.5K per month she saw the light... of euros

          copierguy23, my point is: grab a plan, join home forces and develop a schedule to achieve X by next month. Focus home forces on it. Help them, guide them, ask them opinions.. evolve them.

          Good luck.
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          People make good money selling to the rich. But the rich got rich selling to the masses.
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          • Profile picture of the author copierguy23
            Originally Posted by Fernando Veloso View Post

            I can assure this works. I do this with my wife every single day: i do the hard work, she takes care of PR and accounting, product research. She is developing her first product right now and the reaction to her first autoresponder series is amazing. People do love her, she does some stuff i could never do in life. That's why i always say we work so well together.

            Anyway, at the begging she was a pain in the axx. But when my first site got up to 2.5K per month she saw the light... of euros

            copierguy23, my point is: grab a plan, join home forces and develop a schedule to achieve X by next month. Focus home forces on it. Help them, guide them, ask them opinions.. evolve them.

            Good luck.
            Outstanding thoughts, Fernando....thank you
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  • Profile picture of the author reikidad1961
    My wife was unsupportive until I got her a domain and site of her own to promote selling ebooks and related info. Now she's doing what she used to accuse me of doing, spending too much time on the computer. LOL.
    She made enough online to buy her own laptop, so we work at the same time now.
    Try getting your wife involved too, it just may be what she needs!
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  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    HARSH?

    You obviously have no idea of the meaning of that word.

    Look again at what I wrote and show me where I am being 'harsh'.

    I don't subscribe to platitudinous bull crap and, if a situation presents itself in a way that I can read it, you had better believe that I will read it and comment upon what I read.

    Far too many people believe that the boat in which they sit is so fragile that to even breathe wrong will cause it to founder so to expect them to have the temerity to formulate and postulate an opinion based upon reality rather than what is (presumably) acceptable is a pointless exercise. I do not think that politely pointing out that an unsupportive spouse might have every cause and reason to be so - parterships evolve and benefit from two way traffic but it sometimes takes an outsider to point out that two way does not mean "out of my mouth into your ear" - is any more than that late, lamented facility, common sense.
    Signature

    You might not like what I say - but I believe it.
    Build it, make money, then build some more
    Some old school smarts would help - and here's to Rob Toth for his help. Bloody good stuff, even the freebies!

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  • Profile picture of the author radio
    I came in here to basically say what art did above. That wasn't harsh at all... and if you found it to be... you might be guilty of exactly what he's talking about. Spot on, art. Good luck copier guy - keep your priorities straight and it will all work out.
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  • Profile picture of the author reikidad1961
    If a wife and mother wants to stay at home with the kids and be a full time mom and wants the husband to pay the morgage, pay for the 2 new cars, the toys and play dates for the kids and private school for the kids it often takes more than what the husband can provide from his full time day job, hence other sources of income are needed like working online in the evening and half days on weekends. You can preach all you want about quality time together, but then how do all the bills get paid after the wife and mother quits her full time job to be a stay at home mom and does not want the lifestyle to dimish now that the income is drasticall reduced?
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  • Profile picture of the author mita
    Try co-operating with your wife. She may have some strengths in areas were you are week. She may have an aptitude, for example, at picking out good niches. Try to be positive and work together.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    Sounds like something a good pimpslap could take care of
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