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Today I Was Beaten Up By A Woman

by Ken Leatherman
13 replies
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Today I was beaten up by a woman...?????








Today I was beaten up by a woman...

I was in the elevator when this busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

So I did.


I don't remember much afterwards...
  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    A similar thing happened to me.

    A young woman was eating a piece of fruit.

    I said, "You've got a nice pear".

    She then kicked me in the plums.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    lol ... I forgot that you email jokes to your list. I thought, why would anyone beat him up?
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
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    Just be glad you didn't press 2.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      Just be glad you didn't press 2.
      Ok, that was pretty darn brilliant. It bothers me, that I didn't think of it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Going down?
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      A similar thing happened to me.

      A young woman was eating a piece of fruit.

      I said, "You've got a nice pear".

      She then kicked me in the plums.
      That will teach you, never comment on a women's pear! :rolleyes:


      Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

      Today I was beaten up by a woman...?????

      Today I was beaten up by a woman...

      I was in the elevator when this busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

      So I did.

      I don't remember much afterwards...
      She probably fell on you!


      Shane
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      One of my finest..

      A woman wants to marry a virgin male. She trawls the internet for months until finally she meets a man from Australia who swears he is a virgin. She believes him and invites him to come to Ohio (poetic license) to marry her. They get married and on the wedding night they go up to the hotel room. She says, just going to go to the bathroom to freshen up and slip into something more comfortable.

      10 minutes later she comes out to find all the furniture and bed had been piled up and distributed around the outside of the room, Even the carpet was rolled up.

      "Whats this all for?" she says.

      He says...







      "I did not know what to expect, Ive only ever been with a Kangaroo!"
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

        One of my finest..

        A woman wants to marry a virgin male. She trawls the internet for months until finally she meets a man from Australia who swears he is a virgin. She believes him and invites him to come to Ohio (poetic license) to marry her. They get married and on the wedding night they go up to the hotel room. She says, just going to go to the bathroom to freshen up and slip into something more comfortable.

        10 minutes later she comes out to find all the furniture and bed had been piled up and distributed around the outside of the room, Even the carpet was rolled up.

        "Whats this all for?" she says.

        He says...

        "I did not know what to expect, Ive only ever been with a Kangaroo!"
        Hey, leave us Aussies alone!

        It is bad enough, that when we go into Melbourne, we have to fight off the occasional kangaroo in main street! :rolleyes:

        The Chinese tourists might love them, but they play havoc with traffic!


        But it is the possums and koalas that really bug me!


        I am joking of course, but seriously we do have some parks in Melbourne that are overun with possums.

        And most of our golf courses have kangaroos, some are taller than a fully grown man. But we have our clubs, so!

        A 7 iron usually keeps them away!


        And our airport is near natural bushland, so we on rare occasions get a small kangaroo in the airport area.

        Obviously the tourists love it, but a serious pain for staff!


        Shane
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          I don't think "Ive only ever been with a vacuum salesman from Ohio" would have worked quite the same.
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          • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
            Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

            I don't think "Ive only ever been with a vacuum salesman from Ohio" would have worked quite the same.
            Instead of being rolled up, the carpet would have piles of dirt and Riffle
            would be making crude comments.
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  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
    Banned
    That's nuthin'. I got it on with a '10' last night.

    OK. She was a '4' with a 6-pack under her arm, but, hey - who's counting?

    Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

    Today I was beaten up by a woman...?????








    Today I was beaten up by a woman...

    I was in the elevator when this busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

    So I did.


    I don't remember much afterwards...
    Ah, so you met my cousin Brunhild. She does have this affect on men.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Oh Man. What a way to start Monday Morning. Reading all these replies. Thanks boys and girls for the laughs. Keep them coming.

      I need to find Brunhild cause I just increased my health insurance.
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