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I don't know how to say, I think she is one of my good friends. Fact is actually I don't really have many friends. When she want to talk, she call me and we chat on phone for few hours. I just listen what she said. That's ok. But when sometime, I need her help, she always say she don't have time even it may take her only 5 mins. But I am ok with it.

So today, I have good ideas to create a blog, I try to invite my friends to join me. I whatsapp her too, she told me she is busy. Ok. I reply to her I am upset that she always reject me.

You know what, she just told me straightly " I don't care about you".

I think I am so stupid sometime.
  • I used to have people like that in my life in the past. Then I realized that they did not deserve to carry the title of "friend". Today, the people that I call friends, are there for me when I need them as well. Choose friends that love you, care for you, and make time for you. Otherwise, what's the point of calling them a friend??
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  • Profile picture of the author mkgg
    Originally Posted by milonger View Post

    I don't know how to say, I think she is one of my good friends. Fact is actually I don't really have many friends. When she want to talk, she call me and we chat on phone for few hours. I just listen what she said. That's ok. But when sometime, I need her help, she always say she don't have time even it may take her only 5 mins. But I am ok with it.

    So today, I have good ideas to create a blog, I try to invite my friends to join me. I whatsapp her too, she told me she is busy. Ok. I reply to her I am upset that she always reject me.

    You know what, she just told me straightly " I don't care about you".

    I think I am so stupid sometime.
    Then she doesn't deserve to be your friend.

    I would suggest not giving her the time of the day when she wants or needs it too and see if she changes her behavior, if she still acts the same time to ditch her as a friend because thats not how friends work.

    In fact, some of the girls i date they are so arsed about opinion of their girl-friends that i have to get approval of her girlfriends before the girl wants to date or be serious. Girls specially are very close to their friends so what you're describing is very different than the girls i know have friends like.
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  • Profile picture of the author DireStraits
    Just wipe your hands with her and tell her where to go. And raise your standards while you're at it.

    If it consoles you at all - which I'm sure it doesn't - I've observed from quite a young age that many people, perhaps most, and certainly nearly all of those I've ever known, do not have friends. Not one.

    Sure, they nearly all pretend to. Some even imagine they do. But when it comes down to it, they're about as friendless as cave-dwelling hermits. Which incidentally isn't far from what I am, these days.

    What they do have are varying degrees of acquaintances (and even then most of mine aren't too convivial). True friendship is an almost consanguineal bond. It can form in a number of ways, but it doesn't come and go with the tides. Most people don't have that; in all likelihood they never have and possibly never will. And part of the reason is that, deep down, they don't want it. It's too burdensome, too selfless and not nearly "profitable" enough.

    All it takes is a slight test to expose the truth. But even then there is a tendency to rationalise away the excuses and let bygones by bygones for the sake of upholding the illusion that we're not "alone", that we truly matter to anyone outside of our family.

    For me personally, that whole realisation was as cathartic as it was sobering. But I know not everyone is as morbidly contented in their isolation as me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
    Banned
    I agree with the comments above, but I don't think you're stupid at all.

    I think you probably have a very generous, easy-going, supportive nature and sometimes people who don't really deserve to be your friends at all can take advantage of that.

    It's easy to "be wise with hindsight", and I think that while observing and digesting what happened, you should stop criticising yourself for it. It could equally have happened to many other nice people.
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