The intellectual joke thread
It's about time the standard of humour was raised around here, so here's some jokes that are so clever, most of you won't even get them. 
| A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus…. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!” |
| Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman. |
| Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now. |
| Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath…. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. |
| What’s the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?… An etymologist knows the difference. |
| There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. |
| A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. … But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.” A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.” |
| Your momma is so mean… she has no standard deviation. |
| What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? |
| Three statisticians are playing golf. The first one tees off, and his ball lands a metre to the right of the hole. The second one tees off and his ball lands a metre to the left of the hole. The third leaps into the air and screams, "Yippee, I just got a hole in one." |
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
I
Feel The Power Of The Mark Side
Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.
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"It's pretty simple. You work hard, you believe anything is possible, and you try to make the world better."
Sal
When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
Beyond the Path
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
Feel The Power Of The Mark Side