I made a ROOKIE Mistake

by GGpaul
30 replies
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Guys,

I feel like crap and I need your help . I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years. Today was her b-day. And guess what?



I don't know what to do . I messed this one up so bad. I completely forgot to call her at midnight which is something that I do every day....

We live 3 hours away - should I visit her or there's no point?
  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Get your ass over there and tell her you are so sorry and ask how you can make it up to her.

    I'm sure her feelings are hurt - but she'll get over it if you go try to square it with her. She knows you're only a human...........and only a male to make matters more difficult.
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  • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
    Did you actually say happy birthday or did you go silent after that and came here to ask the question? She only asked at 12.36am

    If you went silent you messed up, I'd have blagged that and said I was waiting for morning so I could have rung and wished her a happy birthday with my voice and yes, as it's her birthday, why wouldn't you drive a few hours to see her?

    Is this a wind up or something?
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I read this a couple times to see what I was missing.

      If after 7 years the health of your relationship depends on a call at midnight - and not a minute later....and on remembering a birthday at midnight.

      You just wasted 7 years.

      You're sorry - say your sorry - send her some flowers - and move past it.

      EDIT: On your side of the story - I don't think it was fair of her to throw that at you 36 minutes INTO her birthday. Would have been classier to not mention it and see if you had something planned (or might have remembered the date) later in the day.

      That makes it not your fault!
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  • Profile picture of the author WFDUDE
    A seven year relationship is one built on trust. The trust that you won't break her heart right? Well, you punched it a little and will take a little but kissing to get out of the dog house so to speak. Some flowers, a backy rub and some tender words wouldn't hurt. Tell her how truly sorry you are and that you won't forget your 50th wedding anniversary.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
    A seven-year relationship shouldn't be so fragile that it collapses over one instance of simple human error. Yeah, it's a big mistake, but they happen. If she's that insecure, maybe it's time to review the relationship. On the other hand, you're only showing one event; it's quite possible that there's a lot more going on here.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Look, after seven years, you can be completely honest. Tell her you were taking a dump and couldn't get to the phone. Tell her you were thinking about her the whole time.
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Look, after seven years, you can be completely honest. Tell her you were taking a dump and couldn't get to the phone. Tell her you were thinking about her the whole time.
      That's what I love about you Dan, we both use the same excuses.

      Trouble is, Claude would know you were lying because he forgot to change the toilet roll before he left.
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Tell her you were taking a dump and couldn't get to the phone. Tell her you were thinking about her the whole time.
      Who said romance was dead?
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Who said romance was dead?
        After seven years, romance has already been flushed away.
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        • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          After seven years, romance has already been flushed away.
          Crappy thing to say. lol

          --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

          Is this 12:36 AM the day after her birthday, or the 12:36 AM the day of her birthday?

          Of course visit if you want to continue this safe distance relationship. Bring her favorite flowers, candy,
          massage coupon, or something personally done/made by you that you know she will love.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
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  • Profile picture of the author AffGuides
    Are you still in high school? If not, you've got some growing up to do.

    Don't say you're sorry - that puts blame on you and means she's the man in the relationship. Pick her up, take her out to places you pick (Say: I'm taking you to xyz restaurant - don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go - you are the alpha male and you are in charge - just make sure its places you will both enjoy). Handle it right and she'll be the one saying sorry.
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    • Profile picture of the author Bluestarace
      Wow.........An apology doesn't really make you small.

      Originally Posted by AffGuides View Post

      Are you still in high school? If not, you've got some growing up to do.

      Don't say you're sorry - that puts blame on you and means she's the man in the relationship. Pick her up, take her out to places you pick (Say: I'm taking you to xyz restaurant - don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go - you are the alpha male and you are in charge - just make sure its places you will both enjoy). Handle it right and she'll be the one saying sorry.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by AffGuides View Post

      Are you still in high school? If not, you've got some growing up to do.

      Don't say you're sorry - that puts blame on you and means she's the man in the relationship. Pick her up, take her out to places you pick (Say: I'm taking you to xyz restaurant - don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go - you are the alpha male and you are in charge - just make sure its places you will both enjoy). Handle it right and she'll be the one saying sorry.
      Or...or...you could treat her like a person.

      I bet you get a lot of women.
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    • Profile picture of the author yukon
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      Originally Posted by AffGuides View Post

      Are you still in high school? If not, you've got some growing up to do.

      Don't say you're sorry - that puts blame on you and means she's the man in the relationship. Pick her up, take her out to places you pick (Say: I'm taking you to xyz restaurant - don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go - you are the alpha male and you are in charge - just make sure its places you will both enjoy). Handle it right and she'll be the one saying sorry.




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  • Profile picture of the author Clyde Dennis
    If you two have managed to get through 7 years surely you've communicated enough with each other to be able to tell her the truth, do what you can to make it up to her, promise to do better next year and keep moving.

    If that's not good enough better to find that kind of thing out now...
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Claude Whitacre - soon to be master of the romance niche. (I truly mean you could.)
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    It's the 7 year itch... you just gave her the excuse she was looking for. Sayonara sucker!
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeAmbrosio
    Not to be a downer, but if she's that upset about this maybe it's the seven years of being a GF that REALLY has her upset. This could be her way of pushing...

    Most women I've known don't want to wait 7 years for the big question.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
    Originally Posted by GGpaul View Post

    We live 3 hours away - should I visit her or there's no point?
    A pizza should visit her.

    Make it so.
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  • Profile picture of the author alistair
    You can take this advice or leave it, the choice is yours but from what you say I think you have only two options.

    The first option which I think will work is to send her a short text saying you couldn't call because you've injured your dialing finger. She's likely to call you immediately and now you can turn the tables on her and YOU can now play the victim.

    Now here is quite possibly a brilliant light bulb moment I've just had with a simple spin on the above. If you really, really want to turn on the sympathy from her for your injured dialing finger then just text her a simple picture just like this one. As they say a picture paints a thousand words and guaranteed she'll know exactly what you mean and be on the phone immediately. Man, she'll be like putty in your hands.

    There's only one tiny little flaw that I just thought of with option 1 and that's that she might realise it's just as easy to call her as text her, in fact it's probably easier, but with a little luck she'll be in enough shock about your dialing finger that fingers crossed (excuse the pun) it won't cross her mind. If it does then you're on your own my friend, I can offer truly outstanding advice but I can't work magic.

    Now option 2 is probably the most simple but most brilliant idea, and it's really all thanks to me being so in touch with the female mind. Now I suggest wearing a bag over your head while reading this because it is mindblowing stuff and we don't want to lose our minds, if at all possible. And a little tip for free I picked up somewhere, if you have trouble reading this then get your eyes tested as you probably need glasses. In the case that you have trouble reading this with a bag over your head then just poke some holes in the bag where your eyes are, and a bonus tip from experience is don't poke the holes in while wearing it, it can become painful.

    Ok here it is, option 2. Simply text her and tell her you're asleep. Did I say it was brilliant or did I say it was brilliant? But here's the bestest part. Once she's received your text even though for the next few minutes she'll still be thinking about how it's the most important day of the year for her and how you're such a heartless ******* which may seem harsh but is probably fair to be honest, her mind will slowly but surely begin to alter and she'll start to wonder just why you've fallen asleep on this most magical of nights.

    Now trust me on this, I know how the female mind works. The cogs in her tiny mind will start to turn and she'll start to think of what you've been doing during the day while she's three hours away, out of sight out of mind, while the cats away etc etc, but don't worry about that, that's my mind wandering, she won't be thinking that at all. Hopefully what you've been doing is working hard as otherwise this option might not be as brilliant as I first thought, but I digress. Anyway, as the cogs in her tiny mind begin to speed up slightly now she'll start to wonder why it is that you've been working so hard, and the only possible conclusion a female can come to about almost anything is money. Now it may take a little while but she will get there eventually, she'll now start to think of how much of that money that you work your arse off for is spent on calling her at midnight, every night, like she's Cinderella or something. At any moment, probably in the next couple of hours or so, 12 hours max, the bombshell will drop on her that you've worked so hard that you've actually gone and exhausted yourself, and it's all so that she can have the pleasure of hearing your voice without fail, well almost without fail, every feiggin night. The real beauty of this option is that you'll now look like a hero to her instead of the worlds worst villain. Job done!

    Anyway looking at the time you posted this thread no doubt my sound advice is a little too late, but just bear it in mind next year.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I know how the female mind works
      Uh-huh

      I figure if this is a daily girlfriend sort of thing - and you've been at it for 7 years - and you still live 3 hrs apart....she probably doesn't have high expectations anyway.

      I could have lasted longer in a relationship if the man would stay 3 hrs a way 80% of the time. All that togetherness gets on my nerves after a while.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by alistair View Post

        Now trust me on this, I know how the female mind works.
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Uh-huh
        Whenever I hear a man say "I know how the female mind works", I just stop listening. It's always some "positioning, alpha male, chess game, domination..." type of thing.

        And the amazing thing is, despite being completely wrong, eventually a woman will look past it, and stay anyway.

        Alistair was kidding, but I still hear it often....from single guys....looking for their next girlfriend.

        Want to know how women think? Ask a woman. And hire a translator that speaks womanese.
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        • Profile picture of the author MikeAmbrosio
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          Whenever I hear a man say "I know how the female mind works", I just stop listening. It's always some "positioning, alpha male, chess game, domination..." type of thing.

          And the amazing thing is, despite being completely wrong, eventually a woman will look past it, and stay anyway.

          Alistair was kidding, but I still hear it often....from single guys....looking for their next girlfriend.

          Want to know how women think? Ask a woman. And hire a translator that speaks womanese.
          After a total of 16 years with my wife I can honestly say I STILL do not know how women think. Even when I ask her. And my translator sucks
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio View Post

            After a total of 16 years with my wife I can honestly say I STILL do not know how women think. Even when I ask her. And my translator sucks

            After I was married to my wife for maybe 20 years, I again asked her if she wanted to see a specific movie. She said "I'm not sure it's a movie I want to see".

            I must have had a flash of genius. Because I asked "When you say that you aren't sure, does that really mean you just don't want to see the movie?"

            And she said "Yes", and looked at me like I was an idiot. Because for the previous 20 years, I assumed when she said "I'm not sure".....that it meant "I'm not sure"..

            Nope! It means "No".

            It's like I "Broke the code".

            I figure, at one breakthrough like that every 20 years of marriage, I have one or two more to go.

            I hope the next one reveals what "The guy that called about your offer, wouldn't give me his phone number" really means. Because for the last 25 years, no man has ever been willing to give her the phone number.

            Sometimes, I think being Gay would make life so much easier.

            I think my wife is the reason they invented voicemail.
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  • Profile picture of the author GGpaul
    I'm surprised no one here left a signature of their dating site lol
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  • Profile picture of the author GGpaul
    Anyways,

    we worked things out. But I have been punished. I have to go sky diving with her (not scared of heights but scared of that tummy feeling when you go on a rollercoaster. But I heard u don't really feel it). And...I have to ride all the rides at Dland (I'm super scared of those rides than sky diving lol).
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    • Profile picture of the author David Beroff
      Originally Posted by GGpaul View Post

      But I have been punished.
      For your sake, I do hope you're joking. Healthy relationships don't involve "punishment"... unless you have a safeword.
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