What is the one thing that is always true in life?

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Gasen

10 years ago

Originally Posted by dianahardy

Hey Guys,

What is the one thing that is always true in life?

Death, It always happens

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Richard Van 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Gasen

Change and Death, It always happens

Sorry Gasen, I thought I'd just add my bit onto yours.
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Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...
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- Gasen 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Richard Van
  
  Sorry Gasen, I thought I'd just add my bit onto yours.
  
  Sorry Richard, I don't swing that way!
  
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  Richard Van 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Gasen
  
  Sorry Richard, I don't swing that way!
  
  Good grief man! Neither do I! Claude on the other hand....
  
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  Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...
  
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  Alex Blades 10 years ago
  
  That every great nation will find a way to destroy themselves, it never fails.
  
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  " I knew that if I failed, I wouldn't regret that.
  But I knew the one thing I might regret is not ever having tried. "
  
  ~ Jeff Bezos
  
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  Steven Wagenheim 10 years ago
  
  Claude's vacuums suck.
  
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  My Soundcloud Music Channel
  
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Dec Mc

10 years ago

You're Damed if you Do and You're Damed if you Don't !

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MissTerraK 10 years ago

You just can't fix stupid.

Terra
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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

And this, too, shall pass.

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Richard Van 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

And this, too, shall pass.

But the Mars curiosity stealth thread will carry on.
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- Gasen 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Richard Van
  
  But the Mars curiosity stealth thread will carry on.
  
  Because curiosity does not kill the thread, it merely fuels it.
  
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  Richard Van 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Gasen
  
  Because Shane does not kill the thread, he merely fuels it by finding more Walmarts and swimming pools and solar power train stations.
  
  (Edit. I am only teasing Shane too, not being horrible)
  
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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Another one:

You might have an opinion on something, but Claude's is better than yours. <sarcastic smilie>

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WalkingCarpet

Banned 10 years ago

[DELETED]

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Imagination always wins over Reason.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Another one:

You might have an opinion on something, but Claude's is better than yours. <sarcastic smilie>

It's even better than that. I'm so right, that even if you agree with me completely...I'm more right than you.

My motto is; "There are two sides to every argument. My side, and the side of those that agree with me"

Dan; You may be The Watcher, but I am The Overmind.

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Dan Riffle 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Dan; You may be The Watcher, but I am The Overmind.

More like The UnderTaint.
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- Claude Whitacre 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  More like The UnderTaint.
  
  I'm changing my one thing that is always true in life to ;
  "Goatees do not make the man"
  
  From The Incredibles
  
  "Behold the UnderMiner. I am always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me!"
  
  The only thing that would have made this villain more repulsive, would have been a goatee.
  
  The Incredibles Ending - YouTube
  
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Steven Wagenheim 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Dan; You may be The Watcher, but I am The Overmind.

I thought you were the never mind.
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- Dan Riffle 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim
  
  I thought you were the never mind.
  
  Much, MUCH better comeback than mine. I bow to you, Wags.
  
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  Alexa Smith Banned 10 years ago
  
  Only the game fish swims upstream.
  
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cashbiz

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Imagination always wins over Reason.

It's even better than that. I'm so right, that even if you agree with me completely...I'm more right than you.

My motto is; "There are two sides to every argument. My side, and the side of those that agree with me"

Dan; You may be The Watcher, but I am The Overmind.

Claude would I be right in assuming that you are an atheist?

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Yes. More accurately, I'm a Nullifidian. By the way, the last three sentences you quoted of mine, were a joke. Everyone here knows that. But I can see how a new person may get the wrong idea.

I just thought of another absolute truth.

Goatees will never be in style.

For all married men;

A woman will be interested in buying your car. You'll write down her name and phone number...along with the word "Ford", and put it in your wallet, and forget all about it. 20 years later, your wife will be looking for a credit card, and will find the number. She'll ask you who "Barb Ford" is, and you'll have no idea. It will take an hour for her to finally tell you how she found "Barb's" phone number. You'll laugh, because you'll finally remember why you have the number.....and you think it's funny. But she'll be mad all day. Yup.

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

For all married men;

A woman will be interested in buying your car. You'll write down her name and phone number...along with the word "Ford", and put it in your wallet, and forget all about it. 20 years later, your wife will be looking for a credit card, and will find the number. She'll ask you who "Barb Ford" is, and you'll have no idea. It will take an hour for her to finally tell you how she found "Barb's" phone number. You'll laugh, because you'll finally remember why you have the number.....and you think it's funny. But she'll be mad all day. Yup.

I might have bought your vacuum cleaner, but I do not buy your story, sir.

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ThomM 10 years ago

I used to tell my daughter this all the time.

Live is like jumping on a trampoline.
The harder you hit it, the higher you go.
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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I might have bought your vacuum cleaner, but I do not buy your story, sir.

You're right. It really happened to me, but it was a vacuum cleaner, not a car, and it was before I met my wife. She would never be jealous. The name was "Barb Rainbow". I talked to a woman that asked if I could get her a good used Rainbow vacuum cleaner. I wrote down her number, put it in my wallet, and forgot about it.

About a year later, my girlfriend found the number in the wallet. She kept asking "Who is Barb?". I had no idea what she was talking about. She finally said "Does the name Barb Rainbow jog your memory?". I figured it out then, and started laughing. Honestly, it took a couple of days for her to get over it.

As you and I have talked about before. many of the stories about my wife's reactions are just made up to be funny. Unless I say (In the off topic forum) "this really happened", it probably didn't....or I changed it to make it funnier.

Sometimes I'll tell her about a particularly funny thing you said, or ask her to read an exchange on here. But usually, my stories are nonsensical enough that I assume most would figure out they aren't literal.

Literally every argument with my wife, I've described, including dialog, never really happened. My wife is incredibly sweet and hates conflict (as do I). Sometimes I'll show her what I posted, and what she "said"...and she just rolls her eyes, and walks away.

A while ago, I read her the story (she can read, but she was at a different desk) I just posted, and she laughed. I just think it's funnier when I include my wife.

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

You're right. It really happened to me, but it was a vacuum cleaner, not a car, and it was before I met my wife. She would never be jealous. The name was "Barb Rainbow". I talked to a woman that asked if I could get her a good used Rainbow vacuum cleaner. I wrote down her number, put it in my wallet, and forgot about it.

About a year later, my girlfriend found the number in the wallet. She kept asking "Who is Barb?". I had no idea what she was talking about. She finally said "Does the name Barb Rainbow jog your memory?". I figured it out then, and started laughing. Honestly, it took a couple of days for her to get over it.

As you and I have talked about before. many of the stories about my wife's reactions are just made up to be funny. Unless I say (In the off topic forum) "this really happened", it probably didn't....or I changed it to make it funnier.

Sometimes I'll tell her about a particularly funny thing you said, or ask her to read an exchange on here. But usually, my stories are nonsensical enough that I assume most would figure out they aren't literal.

Literally every argument with my wife, I've described, including dialog, never really happened. My wife is incredibly sweet and hates conflict (as do I). Sometimes I'll show her what I posted, and what she "said"...and she just rolls her eyes, and walks away.

A while ago, I read her the story (she can read, but she was at a different desk) I just posted, and she laughed. I just think it's funnier when I include my wife.

Easy, tiger, I was just ribbin' you.

Everything I say is true, especially when I'm insulting you.

(I truly hate these smilies.)

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Claude Whitacre 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Easy, tiger, I was just ribbin' you.

Everything I say is true, especially when I'm insulting you. (I truly hate these smilies.)

Dan; I was just amused that you figured out that the story wasn't true as written. I actually consider that a compliment. I knew you were playing, as was I.

And I thought "Tiger" was what you called me in our tender moments....and as our Safe Word.
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Gasen 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Easy, tiger, I was just ribbin' you.

Damn, now that's deep
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- Claude Whitacre 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Gasen
  
  Damn, now that's deep
  
  Riffle; See? Never pick on me, because my new best friend Gasen, will come to my rescue.
  
  For I Am The Power...And You Are The Pawn. (any idea where that came from? No fair looking it up)
  
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lanfear63

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

You're right. It really happened to me, but it was a vacuum cleaner, not a car, and it was before I met my wife. She would never be jealous. The name was "Barb Rainbow". I talked to a woman that asked if I could get her a good used Rainbow vacuum cleaner. I wrote down her number, put it in my wallet, and forgot about it.

About a year later, my girlfriend found the number in the wallet. She kept asking "Who is Barb?". I had no idea what she was talking about. She finally said "Does the name Barb Rainbow jog your memory?". I figured it out then, and started laughing. Honestly, it took a couple of days for her to get over it.

As you and I have talked about before. many of the stories about my wife's reactions are just made up to be funny. Unless I say (In the off topic forum) "this really happened", it probably didn't....or I changed it to make it funnier.

Sometimes I'll tell her about a particularly funny thing you said, or ask her to read an exchange on here. But usually, my stories are nonsensical enough that I assume most would figure out they aren't literal.

Literally every argument with my wife, I've described, including dialog, never really happened. My wife is incredibly sweet and hates conflict (as do I). Sometimes I'll show her what I posted, and what she "said"...and she just rolls her eyes, and walks away.

A while ago, I read her the story (she can read, but she was at a different desk) I just posted, and she laughed. I just think it's funnier when I include my wife.

Well thanks a lot, I had a whole piece worked out in my mind based on your original story, highlights being: Just Because Barbara Ford comes round and revs up your engine, pulls out your choke and drains your sump, what is their to be upset about. And your wife thinking, how can a man use the same wallet for 20 years, most mens wallets disintegrate in their pocket after two, and surely he would clear out the bits of paper now and again so why did he keep this one? Not to mention you proving the aged yellow paper and writing was 20 years old by doing Radio Carbon Dating from a kit free with Rice Krispies.

I had it all planned out and then you dropped the bombshell, all fake! Sob

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Dan Riffle 10 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

I had it all planned out and then you dropped the bombshell, all fake! Sob

The only things not fake about Claude are his boobs.
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- MissTerraK 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  The only things not fake about Claude are his boobs.
  
  LOL! Now that is too funny! = )
  
  Terra
  
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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Well thanks a lot, I had a whole piece worked out in my mind based on your original story, highlights being: Just Because Barbara Ford comes round and revs up your engine, pulls out your choke and drains your sump, what is their to be upset about. And your wife thinking, how can a man use the same wallet for 20 years, most mens wallets disintegrate in their pocket after two, and surely he would clear out the bits of paper now and again so why did he keep this one? Not to mention you proving the aged yellow paper and writing was 20 years old by doing Radio Carbon Dating from a kit free with Rice Krispies.

I had it all planned out and then you dropped the bombshell, all fake! Sob

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

The only things not fake about Claude are his boobs.

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

LOL! Now that is too funny! = )

Terra

I think you guys are mean. I opened my heart to you all...my heart! And now, you just make fun of my boobs....my firm opulent perfect boobs.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. Do you know what it's like to live with an over sized head, and perfectly sculptured boobs? You do not!

Terra keeps bragging that she can touch her toes. I'm sure I could too...if my buoyant magnificent boobs didn't get in the way. And if my massive heavy head wouldn't make it impossible for me to stand up again.

In school, they used to call me "Brilliant wonder boy with the massive head and perfectly shaped boobs". That's even how the Principle would page me over the intercom (or whatever it was called back then). And the first day of school, every year...every teacher would introduce me to the class that way.

It was humiliating. I hope you guys feel better now. I can't stop crying.

Want to know the one thing that is always true in life? Your friends will turn on you and make you cry. Even a goatee doesn't mean they are going to be nice....

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Dan Riffle 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I hope you guys feel better now.

I can't speak for Terra, but I sure know I do.
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- MissTerraK 10 years ago
  
  I'm sorry Claude! Okay, so I'm really not. But let me tell you why...
  
  I don't like to hang around with guys who have more perfect boobs than I do. It does nothing for my sensitive feminine ego.
  
  In order for us to continue to be friends, you have to go have surgery...a double mastectomy.
  
  I'm really trying to save your life here. Honest! No, honest! Did you know that there is such a thing as male breast cancer? It's better to just get rid of them now. Just ask Angelina Jolie.
  
  I'm soo bad
  
  but it's all your fault, Claude.
  
  Terra
  
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  Dan Riffle 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MissTerraK
  
  I'm soo bad
  
  but it's all your fault, Claude.
  
  Words never spoken to Claude before.
  
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  Joe Mobley 10 years ago
  
  The common denominator in all of you're problems... is you.
  
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lanfear63

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I think you guys are mean. I opened my heart to you all...my heart! And now, you just make fun of my boobs....my firm opulent perfect boobs.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. Do you know what it's like to live with an over sized head, and perfectly sculptured boobs? You do not!

Terra keeps bragging that she can touch her toes. I'm sure I could too...if my buoyant magnificent boobs didn't get in the way. And if my massive heavy head wouldn't make it impossible for me to stand up again.

In school, they used to call me "Brilliant wonder boy with the massive head and perfectly shaped boobs". That's even how the Principle would page me over the intercom (or whatever it was called back then). And the first day of school, every year...every teacher would introduce me to the class that way.

It was humiliating. I hope you guys feel better now. I can't stop crying.

Want to know the one thing that is always true in life? Your friends will turn on you and make you cry. Even a goatee doesn't mean they are going to be nice....

Since you ruined my story..

The last time you had your toes touched it was that woman in the Vietnamese nail place you go to for your quarterly toenail trim. It's the only place in Ohio that has the heavy industrial machinery that's up to the job.

I know that for a fact (she talks about you under her mask) and it takes me a day to drive there when I need mine done!

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

Since you ruined my story..

The last time you had your toes touched it was that woman in the Vietnamese nail place you go to for your quarterly toenail trim. It's the only place in Ohio that has the heavy industrial machinery that's up to the job.

I know that for a fact (she talks about you under her mask) and it takes me a day to drive there when I need mine done!

When you get your toes touched up, do they ask you to put on a mask too? Well, I put on my mask, and then she puts a paper bag over my head...it had to be a large grocery bag.

I asked why I needed to wear a mask. She said "Because we don't know if the bag will fall off". I asked her about my Happy Ending (I had a "Happy Ending coupon"), and she brought out the industrial nail clippers.

She said "Pretend it's a love robot". Ha! I fooled her, because my paper bag made it so I couldn't tell the difference.

And I'm used to using tweezers anyway. HA!

I'm a very smart shopper.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Words never spoken to Claude before.

Words that were never spoken to me in Spanish, maybe.

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Daniel Evans

10 years ago

Originally Posted by dianahardy

Hey Guys,

What is the one thing that is always true in life?

Everyone likes a piece of quiche.

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travlinguy

10 years ago

Left is hot. Right is cold. Shit doesn't flow uphill and payday is Friday.

I realize that's more than one thing. But this is actually philosophy so it's okay.

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waterotter

10 years ago

Change is constant/inevitable.

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Rod Cortez

10 years ago

Originally Posted by dianahardy

Hey Guys,

What is the one thing that is always true in life?

That true happiness comes from within.

RoD

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Jason Kanigan

10 years ago

Unsolicited advice rarely has value in the mind of the receiver.

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Claude Whitacre 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan

Unsolicited advice rarely has value in the mind of the receiver.

Very true. To add to that...

Nobody is paying to see the wise man at the bottom of the mountain.
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  Taxes that attach themselves to everything like leeches.
  
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  ThomM 10 years ago
  
  Only one?
  The purpose of life is to have fun, if you don't get that you don't get life.
  
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- candoit2 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  Very true. To add to that...
  
  Nobody is paying to see the wise man at the bottom of the mountain.
  
  Yes, but they will be paying a wise man at the bottom of the mountain.
  
  He's the one who makes money selling items and services to those who are traveling up the mountain
  
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Raydal

10 years ago

Everyone has problems--even God!

-Ray Edwards

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candoit2

10 years ago

Originally Posted by dianahardy

Hey Guys,

What is the one thing that is always true in life?

The majority of people will have a shallow understanding of a given topic. However the majority will have the strongest influence on what we believe as true about a subject..

Never base what you trust or believe based on what the majority think, or basing it on "professional" opinions who's existence relies on keeping the majority happy (giving them what they want, or want to hear).

You'll be considered less intelligent of course. History shows many of the greats, were persecuted, or ridiculed in their time.

The one thing always true is the majority rule, and you have to think outside the box, step out of the herd to lead.

Seeing as you are constantly surrounded by shallow thinkers rather than experts, if you go against the flow they will think your an idiot of course and will resit following your lead. So you have to give them what they want to hear, or see, and don't shock or confuse them by introducing concepts or realities that contradict their beliefs.

When you do that nothing is impossible, and you can create any life you imagine.

You get furthest ahead in the real world, by letting the rest live in their imaginary one.

Aaron

Thanks

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hardraysnight

10 years ago

my grandmother, she who never lies, told me tne sun always rises

i needed to know what happened to the sun at night, and suddenly, it dawned on me

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1 reply

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These guys helped me with the feedback for my site

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lanfear63

10 years ago

It's Inevitable That...

"On more than one occasion in your life you will fail to spot the complete lack of toilet paper having just taken a dump"

"Life is like a pubic hair on the edge of the toilet bowl, you will always get pissed off in the end"

"You will have deep regrets in your life if you fail to buy a Riccar, It's the only one with the genuine Goatee hair bristles"

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2 replies

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Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

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Kay King

10 years ago

Life never goes according to plan for long.

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1 reply

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Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog

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LouiGeeinMD

10 years ago

Taxes, Death and Change.

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1 reply

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Dennis Gaskill

10 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

You just can't fix stupid.

Terra

Ever heard of the Darwin Awards? That's when stupid fixes itself.

And my contribution to the question in question...

Your life is an experiment in self-discovery from start to finish.

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1 reply

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Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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MissTerraK

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill

Ever heard of the Darwin Awards? That's when stupid fixes itself.

And my contribution to the question in question...

Your life is an experiment in self-discovery from start to finish.

I actually hadn't heard of them before, so I did a quick search and found this.

And now I get it, lol!

Terra

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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Dennis Gaskill 10 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

I actually hadn't heard of them before...

I thought everyone had heard of the Darwin Awards. That picture is of potential Darwin Award winners. The awards are actually awarded posthumously to those who kill themselves in the dumbest ways.

> Darwin Awards
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Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.
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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

It's Inevitable That...

"On more than one occasion in your life you will fail to spot the complete lack of toilet paper having just taken a dump"

"Life is like a pubic hair on the edge of the toilet bowl, you will always get pissed off in the end"

"You will have deep regrets in your life if you fail to buy a Riccar, It's the only one with the genuine Goatee hair bristles"

My "Thanks" is used up for the day...but that was some brilliantly written stuff, right there.

"Goatee hair bristles"....I wish I'd thought of that.

Of course, Riffle's. goatee is incredibly curly. So I suspect it's just a hair transplant....but from where?

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1 reply

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One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?

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LynnM 10 years ago

There are always bumps in the road, and some of them are bloody mountains.
- Thanks
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cashbiz

10 years ago

Originally Posted by dianahardy

Hey Guys,

What is the one thing that is always true in life?

Diana,
I believe there are many things in life that are true, not just one.
To which truth do you allude?

Thanks

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What is the one thing that is always true in life?

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