Dan Riffle's Gift To Claude Whitacre

Steven Wagenheim

10 years ago

Okay, that's just messed up. LOL

(Walks away shaking head)

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Huh. The website said, "one size fits most."

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Claude Whitacre 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Huh. The website said, "one size fits most."

Remember, the camera adds...um..100 pounds.

Originally Posted by alistair

That's so cool, I almost shed a tear from feeling the love.

I know it's an obvious question, but do they bubble wrap the bubble wrap suit?

It was in a very large, very nice gift box. It came with a card. The card said "The gift has been brought to you, with love, from Danial Riffle. Most of our customers are into swinging and other deviant behaviors. And someone thought of you, in a sexual way, enough to send you the gift of Public Embarrassment. The people who buy these suits have always found us on porn websites. So...be sure to wash this bubble wrap suit...and have it sanitized...and maybe fumigated...before you wear it. And your friend is a perv".

Honest....that's what it said.....seriously........
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- Tom B Banned 10 years ago
  
  Ahem... you are welcome.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap
  
  Ahem... you are welcome.
  
  "Ahem" is right. My apologies. And I just fixed my first post to reflect this.
  
  Everyone;
  
  Thomas Belknap is the one who originally posted the photo of the bubble wrap jogging outfit.
  He is the one who started the whole thing.
  
  I bow to you Sir, with genuine gratitude and admiration. Please accept my apologies..
  
  That slobbering sound you hear? That's Riffle. He apologizes too.
  
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Tom B

Banned 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Huh. The website said, "one size fits most."

You may be thinking about the black rubber suit.

I think this should be the next gift and hopefully we won't see it on video.

Take that Claude!

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

You may be thinking about the black rubber suit.

I think this should be the next gift and hopefully we won't see it on video.

Take that Claude!

I just vomited in my mouth.

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I just vomited in my mouth.

That can't be the first time someone has vomited in your mouth.

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

That can't be the first time someone has vomited in your mouth.

Actually, that would be correct. Long story.

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MikeAmbrosio 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I just vomited in my mouth.

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

That can't be the first time someone has vomited in your mouth.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Actually, that would be correct. Long story.

I thought that happened to everybody - at least once.

We'll have to trade stories some day
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- waterotter 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MikeAmbrosio
  
  I thought that happened to everybody - at least once.
  
  We'll have to trade stories some day
  
  And I figured he was performing CPR!
  
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bizgrower

10 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Is there a WSO teaching us how to "unsee"?

Yes. Claude's wife produced it. She is now working on one involving advanced avoidance techniques.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Actually, that would be correct. Long story.

Is that the one that involved imbibing too many strawberry daquiris and a pink cashmere sweater?

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Richard Van

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I just vomited in my mouth.

I actually projectile vomited all over my office. Poor Hunter, I must say he had slightly dangerous looking eyes and could have been mistaken for a cage fighter had he not been wearing that fetish suit.

Excellent stuff chaps, splendid way to start a day that leads onto a Friday night and then the weekend.

Now that rubber suit, third picture on the right. Why has no one commented on the fact he appears to have petit pois and a baby carrot shoved down his groin area? There's no point having manly Celtic tattoo's if that's all you've got to offer after dinner.

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MissTerraK

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Now that rubber suit, third picture on the right. Why has no one commented on the fact he appears to have petit pois and a baby carrot shoved down his groin area? There's no point having manly Celtic tattoo's if that's all you've got to offer after dinner.

No that you've brought it up...

No, I had better not...

Well, Okay...I think the dude himself noticed that. If you'll notice in the center photo, he's looking straight on, but in the one you mentioned, he seems to have taken notice...

Terra

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discrat 10 years ago

That s funny.

Btw Claude, you remind me of a sexier version of Jim Belushi
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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by bizgrower

Is that the one that involved imbibing too many strawberry daquiris and a pink cashmere sweater?

That's not too far off, biz. Throw in a bunk bed and you have the majority of the story.

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

That's not too far off, biz. Throw in a bunk bed and you have the majority of the story.

Sooooo........ this happened in prison?

Were they really girls, or did you just have to suspend your disbelief?

Don't be ashamed. We've all done things we regret.

(purposely leaving Riffle an opening.....even in this sentence)

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Dan Riffle 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Sooooo........ this happened in prison?

Close. A college dorm room.
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Richard Van

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Sooooo........ this happened in prison?

Ah, now it makes sense. I saw a video about a prison in South Africa where some men were transvestites and the men referred to them as girls.

I see what you see now Claude.

I see what you see.

That suit he sent you may have been the same fetish suit he was wearing at the time of the vomiting during his time in the infamous Riffle wing of Ohio state penitentiary.

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Ah, now it makes sense. I saw a video about a prison in South Africa where some men were transvestites and the men referred to them as girls.

I see what you see now Claude.

I see what you see.

That suit he sent you may have been the same fetish suit he was wearing at the time of the vomiting during his time in the infamous Riffle wing of Ohio state penitentiary.

Yup. Riffle had this episode happen in a "college dorm" the same way that it was done with "girls".

And that bubble suit? It came with a free set of license plates. Riffle isn't fooling anyone here.

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bizgrower 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

That's not too far off, biz. Throw in a bunk bed and you have the majority of the story.

It is actually something I witnessed in college - in a dorm room, sans bunk beds. This girl with red hair, wearing a pink cashmere sweater, did drink too many strawberry daiquiris. She was lying down on her back
when she vomited. It is an image I will never forget.
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Jacqueline Smith 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

You may be thinking about the black rubber suit.

I think this should be the next gift and hopefully we won't see it on video. Take that Claude!

RUN, HUNTER, RUN!!!
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HeySal

10 years ago

We now know something more about the illusive Dan Riffle. He has WAY too much time on his hands.

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MissTerraK 10 years ago

OMGosh Claude!!

You so remind me of John Goodman in Coyote Ugly!!

John Goodman dancing on bar - YouTube

Edit: That is a compliment by the way. I've loved John Goodman since way back in his days in Roseanne.

Terra
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alistair

10 years ago

That's so cool, I almost shed a tear from feeling the love.

I know it's an obvious question, but do they bubble wrap the bubble wrap suit?

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TimPhelan 10 years ago

Claude, you are one sexy dude. I can see why Dan is so smitten with you now.
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HeySal

10 years ago

Is there a WSO teaching us how to "unsee"?

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Tom B

Banned 10 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Is there a WSO teaching us how to "unsee"?

I wouldn't be surprised if Claude is hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit for that video.

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

I wouldn't be surprised if Claude is hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit for that video.

The kid in the video, Hunter... wanted to do it completely naked. He thought the whole idea was hilarious. We tried a couple of takes with him running around in the suit, trying to pick up the sounds it made. (That's why he was sweaty)

He a lot of fun, and he acted like he was uncomfortable in the video. That's what I thought was most funny. We cut out a couple of minutes of him running around, posing.

He even asked for the suit when we were done, because he creates lots of joke videos. He told me he was going to wear it when he went to the bank, and film it.

He's the one who edited it to zoom in on his shorts. He's very funny, and the best employee I've ever had.

You want to hear something funny? His feet are huge! I have size 10 1/2 shoes. He wears a 12. At 18 years old, he has a disc jockey business and a video business (weddings mostly). And he works for me during the week. One of my favorite people.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Actually, that would be correct. Long story.

I know. Want me to tell it?

I call it "Two girls and a Riffle"

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I know. Want me to tell it?

I call it "Two girls and a Riffle"

Well, there were two girls involved. Unfortunately, it's not what you think.

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Dennis Gaskill

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

You may be thinking about the black rubber suit.

That may be the dumbest looking "outfit" I've ever seen. Not the most outrageous, or more hideous, but perhaps the dumbest.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Actually, that would be correct. Long story.

Oh, like you don't have the time, Mr. Dan "I shop for bubble wrap clothing" Riffle.

Edited to add: Claude, you should give Hunter a raise and bonus for going way above and beyond the call of duty.

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Cali16 10 years ago

Awwww, Dan, what a sweet and thoughtful guy you are!!

So, Claude, does your wife know about your and Dan's very close "friendship"?
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- Claude Whitacre 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Cali16
  
  Awwww, Dan, what a sweet and thoughtful guy you are!!
  
  So, Claude, does your wife know about your and Dan's very close "friendship"?
  
  Are you kidding? Who do you think holds the video camera?
  
  (The truth is, she is blissfully unaware of 95% of this nonsense. The first thing she said when I showed her the bubble wrap suit, was "If you think I'm wearing that, think again". She walked out to the front of the store when Hunter was prancing around in the suit. She started laughing, said "I don't want to know" and went back into her little workshop.)
  
  Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill
  
  Edited to add: Claude, you should give Hunter a raise and bonus for going way above and beyond the call of duty.
  
  Are you kidding? To him, it's just time he gets paid for not working. He was thinking of putting on the suit to go home. I said "No! I don't want to get that phone call". But he's made other videos that are far more outrageous. He's very funny.
  
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lanfear63 10 years ago

I thought that video was strangely familiar. Then I realized it was a sanitized, reworked version (for You-Tube) of the opening sequence from one of Claude's hugely successful Adult fetish Dvds in the series:

"Reluctant Bubble Wrapped Teenage Slaves In Da Hood" (Vol 37)

In the original there are some marked differences. Claude is usually dressed in nothing but a thong and a strapless leather bra. The script is somewhat different too. He is telling the slave how his friend, dungeon master Dan Hustle had sent him this outfit and he should be grateful that he has been allowed to wear it.

That bit where he asks him, "how does it feel" the slave says "Makes me feel real hot big daddy"

As for the usual mock dungeon, it has been replaced by a wall of Vacuum cleaner bags and parts. This could be a storage area as vacuum cleaners are heavily used in his video's.

I never knew you could do that with a Riccar.
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- LynnM 10 years ago
  
  That outfit would be so much fun to roll down a hill in.
  
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  positivenegative 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by LynnM
  
  That outfit would be so much fun to roll down a hill in.
  
  With Claude still inside it.
  
  Uh, on second thoughts maybe not. Seismographs would go crazy, globally.
  
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Tom B

Banned 10 years ago

Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill

That may be the dumbest looking "outfit" I've ever seen. Not the most outrageous, or more hideous, but perhaps the dumbest.
.

I don't know Dennis, it might be a great outfit for fishing. I just wouldn't know where to put the fish you catch or the equipment.

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waterotter

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

I don't know Dennis, it might be a great outfit for fishing. I just wouldn't know where to put the fish you catch or the equipment.

And I thought it was all about how you wiggle the worm!

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Tom B

Banned 10 years ago

Originally Posted by waterotter

And I thought it was all about how you wiggle the worm!

Maybe I will wear one out the to local pub this weekend and see what's biting. Yeah, I went there.

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waterotter

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

Maybe I will wear one out the to local pub this weekend and see what's biting. Yeah, I went there.

Lol, any luck?!!!

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Cali16

10 years ago

Claude, I'm confused. I thought you sold vacuum cleaners. But your t-shirt says "The Sweeper Store".

Brooms sweep up dirt; vacuums suck it up. So, shouldn't your shirt say "The Sucker Store"??

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tagiscom

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Remember, the camera adds...um..100 pounds.

It was in a very large, very nice gift box. It came with a card. The card said "The gift has been brought to you, with love, from Danial Riffle. Most of our customers are into swinging and other deviant behaviors. And someone thought of you, in a sexual way, enough to send you the gift of Public Embarrassment. The people who buy these suits have always found us on porn websites. So...be sure to wash this bubble wrap suit...and have it sanitized...and maybe fumigated...before you wear it. And your friend is a perv".

Honest....that's what it said.....seriously........

Hmmm, l think that this video confirms conclusively that Claude doesn't have a big head, (look's average to me).

And that is a good, thing, well l hope so!

Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap

You may be thinking about the black rubber suit.

I think this should be the next gift and hopefully we won't see it on video.

Take that Claude!

Yep, the latest fashion in Slaughterhouse attire!

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

That can't be the first time someone has vomited in your mouth.

Groan, don't say vomiting! I am getting over a nasty virus, and am in the zone, now and then!

Originally Posted by lanfear63

I thought that video was strangely familiar. Then I realized it was a sanitized, reworked version (for You-Tube) of the opening sequence from one of Claude's hugely successful Adult fetish Dvds in the series:

"Reluctant Bubble Wrapped Teenage Slaves In Da Hood" (Vol 37)

In the original there are some marked differences. Claude is usually dressed in nothing but a thong and a strapless leather bra. The script is somewhat different too. He is telling the slave how his friend, dungeon master Dan Hustle had sent him this outfit and he should be grateful that he has been allowed to wear it.

That bit where he asks him, "how does it feel" the slave says "Makes me feel real hot big daddy"

As for the usual mock dungeon, it has been replaced by a wall of Vacuum cleaner bags and parts. This could be a storage area as vacuum cleaners are heavily used in his video's.

I never knew you could do that with a Riccar.

True he has the optional leather dust bags out back, for seriously disturbed customers. And the condom, laytex ones, for customers, that should be locked up?

But to wrap up, (yeah, l know) women couldn't resist these bubble wrap coats, (pressing in the cells) but it's the men you have to watch out for!

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HeySal

10 years ago

Ya know what I think about this whole thread?

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MikeAmbrosio

10 years ago

Oh MY!!! I can't BELIEVE it!

I have been looking for those vacuum cleaner bags for EVER! Right there - on the wall behind you!

By the way - what's this about a bubble wrap suit or something?

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

So, do you think anyone will complain that we've taken this thread off topic....

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sbucciarel

Banned 10 years ago

I was so hoping to see Claude in the Bubble Wrap outfit instead of some skinny little boy. What a disappointment. I have precious little bandwidth to waste and decided to sit here and wait for an eternity until the video loaded here on the chicken ranch and do I get rewarded with a Bubble Wrapped Big Hunk of HeMan? Nope. A boy ... a skinny one at that.

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tagiscom

10 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

I was so hoping to see Claude in the Bubble Wrap outfit instead of some skinny little boy. What a disappointment. I have precious little bandwidth to waste and decided to sit here and wait for an eternity until the video loaded here on the chicken ranch and do I get rewarded with a Bubble Wrapped Big Hunk of HeMan? Nope. A boy ... a skinny one at that.

It looks like Claude's Stud Muffin days are over?

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Claude Whitacre

10 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

I was so hoping to see Claude in the Bubble Wrap outfit instead of some skinny little boy. What a disappointment. I have precious little bandwidth to waste and decided to sit here and wait for an eternity until the video loaded here on the chicken ranch and do I get rewarded with a Bubble Wrapped Big Hunk of HeMan? Nope. A boy ... a skinny one at that.

Mark this day. It is the only time in history that "Hunk of HeMan" has been used to describe me.

Suzanne; I tried to get in it, I really did. The problem with bubble wrap? It won't stretch. And before Riffle says it, it's also transparent.

Originally Posted by tagiscom

It looks like Claude's Stud Muffin days are over?

Shane. My wife used to call me "Stud Muffin". When we first got married, I got a vasectomy. When I came back from the doctor's office, one of my employees said "Now, you're just a muffin". I thought it was hilarious.

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msdobe

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Shane. My wife used to call me "Stud Muffin". When we first got married, I got a vasectomy. When I came back from the doctor's office, one of my employees said "Now, you're just a muffin". I thought it was hilarious.

Wayyyyyyy too funny!

And isn't it nice to have friends you can count on?

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tagiscom

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Mark this day. It is the only time in history that "Hunk of HeMan" has been used to describe me.

Suzanne; I tried to get in it, I really did. The problem with bubble wrap? It won't stretch. And before Riffle says it, it's also transparent.

Shane. My wife used to call me "Stud Muffin". When we first got married, I got a vasectomy. When I came back from the doctor's office, one of my employees said "Now, you're just a muffin". I thought it was hilarious.

Oooookkkkkkk, a bit too much info, there!

But l suspect that you have an innocent vacumn cleaner store out front, and probably a leather bondage dungeon, complete with Riffle-like subhuman creature on standby out back?

But l might be wrong, the Riffle-like creature could be a rental?

I think that i'd better stop, now, before we get into the midget and whip party nights!

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Claude Whitacre 10 years ago

Originally Posted by tagiscom

Riffle-like subhuman

Shane; Isn't "Riffle-like" and "Subhuman" repetitive?
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Dan Riffle's Gift To Claude Whitacre

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