by Alast
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Is it ironic that I posted a video about how boring and useless Facebook is on Facebook?
Is it ironic that the name of Britain's biggest dog (until it died recently) was Tiny?
Is it ironic that I can't go to church because I have a theology test to study for?
No cheating.
  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Banned
    Is it ironic that Newbie Internet Marketers promote products that (supposedly) teach people how to make $1000's while asking how to make $1000's?
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Ha. Haven't heard that song in ages. : )
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

          Ha. Haven't heard that song in ages. : )

          I hadn't either but this thread reminded me of it. = )
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

      Is it ironic that Newbie Internet Marketers promote products that (supposedly) teach people how to make $1000's while asking how to make $1000's?

      Or someone who says they can teach you how to make thousands of dollars a month, when they are asking how to make hundreds.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Or someone who says they can teach you how to make thousands of dollars a month, when they are asking how to make hundreds.
        Yep. Even more ironic.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

          Yep. Even more ironic.
          Me, telling someone not to be so boastful.

          Me, telling someone not to talk about themselves constantly.

          Riffle, telling someone to stop picking on me.
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          • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Me, telling someone not to be so boastful.

            Me, telling someone not to talk about themselves constantly.

            Riffle, telling someone to stop picking on me.
            And me!


            Terra
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            • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Riffle, telling someone to stop picking on me.
              Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

              And me!


              Terra
              Neither would ever happen.
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    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

      Is it ironic that Newbie Internet Marketers promote products that (supposedly) teach people how to make $1000's while asking how to make $1000's?
      Sometimes the line between irony and stupidity isn't all that well defined.
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      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Irony is when you can rearrange the letters in someone's name and it spells: clawed urea itch.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Working a cigarette vending route in Casino's when you don't smoke or gamble.

    Needing sleep and being unable to sleep soundly.

    Dan
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    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Irony is in order to get what you want the most, you have to do what you want the least.


      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Irony is Dan Riffle being homophobic.

        Irony is Dan Riffle telling a kid to act more manly.

        Irony is Dan Riffle, telling any woman that he finds her unattractive.

        Irony is Dan Riffle calling a woman a lesbian.


        I saw my duty...and I did it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    No.
    Possibly.
    Yes.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

      No.
      Possibly.
      Yes.

      My God! I read your post, and tried to figure it out. I then went to the OP's post.

      You're the first person that answered his three questions.

      You may now cross the bridge, you Billy Goat Gruff.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alast
      Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

      No.
      Possibly.
      Yes.
      Is it ironic that I posted a video about how boring and useless Facebook is on Facebook?
      Reader’s Verdict: 93% NOT IRONIC; 7% IRONIC. Final Verdict: NOT IRONIC.

      Is it ironic that the name of Britain’s biggest dog (until it died recently) was Tiny?
      Reader’s Verdict: 75% IRONIC; 25% NOT IRONIC. Final Verdict: IRONIC.

      Is it ironic that I can’t go to church because I have a theology test to study for?
      Reader’s Verdict: 95% NOT IRONIC; 5% IRONIC. Final Verdict: NOT IRONIC.

      Is it ironic that someone steps into a puddle and you make fun of them… and the next thing you know – YOU step in one!?
      Reader’s Verdict: 94% IRONIC; 6% NOT IRONIC. Final Verdict: IRONIC.

      What Is Irony? (With Examples)



      (unless your post was a joke? )
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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    It's ironic when the clerk at the drug store has to say "Be Well" at the end of every sale, even when she is handing you a carton of cigarettes.

    George Wright
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      I'm not exactly sure this is ironic.

      This story is true, and it's how I really talk.
      I was at the doctor's office. He walks in, and says "How are you?"

      I said "Wait. You ask that of every person you see, Right?"

      He said "Yes, I suppose so"

      I asked "And how many say "fine" or something similar?"

      He said "Almost all of them. Why?"

      I said "Then why are they here?"

      He sat there for a few seconds and then laughed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    Claude,

    I love situational stuff like that. And there's always that pause.

    I have a few stock lines for day to day stuff. They're great the first time you deal with someone. Grocery stores and restaurants are my favorite places for them.

    Cashier: "Hi."
    Me: "No I'm not."


    Waitress: "How are you today."
    Me: (pause, with a thoughtful expression) "You know, I don't know!"

    or

    Me: "That's an excellent question. I don't have a useful answer at the moment. Can I get back to you?"


    Waitress: "Would you like cream with your coffee?"
    Me: "Have you seen where that stuff comes from?"

    Beats the hell out of the usual auto-responses.


    Paul
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

      Claude,

      I love situational stuff like that. And there's always that pause.

      I have a few stock lines for day to day stuff. They're great the first time you deal with someone. Grocery stores and restaurants are my favorite places for them.

      Cashier: "Hi."
      Me: "No I'm not."


      Waitress: "How are you today."
      Me: (pause, with a thoughtful expression) "You know, I don't know!"

      or

      Me: "That's an excellent question. I don't have a useful answer at the moment. Can I get back to you?"


      Waitress: "Would you like cream with your coffee?"
      Me: "Have you seen where that stuff comes from?"

      Beats the hell out of the usual auto-responses.


      Paul
      These are things I use myself. (I'm not universally loved with cashiers)

      A customer walks in the store, "Hi, How are you?" I always say "So far, so good"

      A cashier in a restaurant... "How was everything?"
      "I don't know. We didn't order everything".

      I the post office, when there is a very long line "Anything else today?"
      Me "Yes. I'm thinking of starting a stamp collection. Could I look at all the different stamps that are available?" (I've done that twice. It gets a loud symphony of sighs)

      At the post office; "Anything liquid, perishable?"
      Me; "You didn't ask if anything was explosive"
      Her; "Anything explosive?"
      Me; "No. But it's a book about explosives. Does that count?"

      At the post office;
      Me "I want this package shipped round trip"
      Them "To Where?"
      Me "Right here"
      (added later; To be completely fair, I have really said this...but I think I stole the core of the joke from a Stephen Wright joke. I think the joke was "I want to buy a round trip plane ticket" "To where?" "Here")



      At the line in the grocery store;
      "Anything else?" (If there is a long line)
      Me; "Yes, could you go check on the price of American cheese?" (Of course, I'm always joking about these things. But the gasps from the line are music to my ears)

      A customer comes in my store and looks at a huge selection of vacuum cleaners...
      "Are these for sale?"
      Me; "No Ma'm..these are part of my private collection"

      Customer "I'm just here to check prices"
      Claude the Evil "No need. I checked all the prices this morning. They are all correct".

      "Didn't I see you at the grocery store?"
      Claude; "I remember seeing you there. No, that wasn't me. It was someone else"

      A phone call;
      "Where are you located?"
      Me. "Right here"

      Writing a check, and I see that there is a sign that says "Returned checks pay $25 fee".

      I say "Look, I know this check isn't any good. Should I just add the $25 fee to the check amount?" (I get several different responses to that. One guy said 'Sure")

      I've actually said each of these several times. Yes, it has cost me a sale or two. No, I don't care.
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      • Profile picture of the author Cali16
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Customer "I'm just here to check prices"
        Claude the Evil "No need. I checked all the prices this morning. They are all correct".
        LOL, that's priceless!

        However, I do find it amusing that it's the only one in which you used "Claude the Evil"...

        When someone (e.g. a sales clerk) asks me "Now, what was your name?" I always find myself wanting to reply, "It's Cheryl, and it still is my name as far as I know..." (But I'm not evil like Claude...)
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        <snip>
        One of my favourite "tricks":

        (Scene - me ringing someone up - someone other than the person I want to speak to answers.)

        Answerer: Hello
        Me: Can I speak to (insert name here)
        Answerer: Can I tell them who's calling?
        Me: Yes.

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        • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
          It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife to kill the swine who gave you all the spoons.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          One of my favourite "tricks":

          (Scene - me ringing someone up - someone other than the person I want to speak to answers.)

          Answerer: Hello
          Me: Can I speak to (insert name here)
          Answerer: Can I tell them who's calling?
          Me: Yes.


          I say almost exactly the same thing. I'm calling a friend (or in rare cases, I've done it while prospecting)

          Them "May I ask who is calling?" (or "May I ask what this is about?")
          Claude "Sure, go right ahead".

          Or I walk into a store.
          The clerk says "May I help you?"
          And Claude, the popular says "Sure, go right ahead"

          I really say these things. And I see you do too.


          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

          I went to the doctors office recently, he said, I have not seen you for a while, I said no, I haven't been well.
          Did you just make that up? It was really quite clever.
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            I really say these things. And I see you do too.
            The only thing stopping me replying with "great minds think alike", is we're talking about you and me.
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            • Profile picture of the author Alast
              Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

              The only thing stopping me replying with "great minds think alike", is we're talking about you and me.
              Who has the great mind?
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              • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
                Originally Posted by Alast View Post

                Who has the great mind?
                Neither, erm I mean both.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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        Claude and Paul: I wish I were as witty as you two.
        : )

        My attempt at humour while out having a meal with Family was to reply when the waitress asked (Her) "How would you like your stake cooked?" ... (Me) "In the oven." (Which I thought was hilarious.) However, she just gave me a blank expression and said: "On the grill?"

        Lol. Oh well.
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        • Profile picture of the author Rick Rodd
          Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

          Claude and Paul: I wish I were as witty as you two. : )

          My attempt at humour while out having a meal with Family was to reply when the waitress asked (Her) "How would you like your stake cooked?" ... (Me) "In the oven." (Which I thought was hilarious.) However, she just gave me a blank expression and said: "On the grill?"

          Lol. Oh well.
          Well, there's always a next time. That's what I always say to encourage people.

          You can be witty when the time is ripe/right.

          Though I might have erred a little when I told this to a neighbor who had a miscarriage. They didn't talk to me for a year.
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          • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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            Originally Posted by Rick Rodd View Post

            Well, there's always a next time. That's what I always say to encourage people.
            True. I now know what to say to make it humorous next time. : )
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            • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
              Jonathan,
              True. I now know what to say to make it humorous next time. : )
              And now, young paduwan, you are a writer.


              Paul
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

          Claude and Paul: I wish I were as witty as you two.
          : )

          My attempt at humour while out having a meal with Family was to reply when the waitress asked (Her) "How would you like your stake cooked?" ... (Me) "In the oven." (Which I thought was hilarious.) However, she just gave me a blank expression and said: "On the grill?"

          Lol. Oh well.
          I can't speak for Paul, but about half of my jokes fall flat. I'm not wittier than you are, just louder. My jokes are to entertain myself. If someone laughs, so much the better. But my favorite jokes are when someone doesn't get it....and sometimes I laugh the most when I realize that my joke really wasn't funny at all.

          The secret...is that I don't repeat the unfunny things I say, only the funny things. It isn't a matter of being witty. It's a matter of editing.
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            I can't speak for Paul, but about half of my jokes fall flat.
            Half?

            .....
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              Half?

              .....
              Confess.

              Half of the jokes that you tell, are ones you found laying on the floor, after I threw them away.
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              • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                Confess.

                Half of the jokes that you tell, are ones you found laying on the floor, after I threw them away.
                Well, sure, but that's just because you don't like to tell funny jokes.
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                • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
                  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                  Well, sure, but that's just because you don't like to tell funny jokes.
                  He likes to tell funny jokes. Just still waiting for some.
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    • Profile picture of the author George Wright
      Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

      Claude,

      I love situational stuff like that. And there's always that pause.

      Paul
      I'm a little overweight, well maybe not a little, OK I'm fat, there I said it..

      Anyway this always happens in restaurants.

      Me, "I'll have a coke."
      Waitress, "Will that be a diet Coke?"
      Me, "Do I look like I drink Diet Coke?"
      Dead silence until I smile then laughter from the waitress.

      George Wright
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by George Wright View Post

        I'm a little overweight, well maybe not a little, OK I'm fat, there I said it..

        Anyway this always happens in restaurants.

        Me, "I'll have a coke."
        Waitress, "Will that be a diet Coke?"
        Me, "Do I look like I drink Diet Coke?"
        Dead silence until I smile then laughter from the waitress.

        George Wright
        Well, call me mean - but when an over weight person tells me to "kiss my a**" my response is always "which acre?" If they aren't, I've been in a proximity to kiss my hand then pat them on the head sometimes.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        I went to the doctors office recently, he said, I have not seen you for a while, I said no, I haven't been well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    Good stuff, Claude. I'm gonna steal some of those.
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  • Profile picture of the author positivenegative
    Originally Posted by Alast View Post


    What IS irony?

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  • Profile picture of the author Rick Rodd
    A friend of mine decided to end it all by jumping of a building.
    I tried to stop him by talking about the many wonderful things he can appreciate in his life.
    "Gee, I feel better now!", he said.
    I gave him a tap on the shoulder, "Good for you!"
    "Woah! I almost fell... you nearly killed me!", he said.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I need a new joke for the bank. When I withdraw, they ask me "how would you like that" - and I've said "USD please". But now they've all heard that one, so I need something else.
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      (unless your post was a joke?)
      Nope. I don't put much stock in surveys like that, unless the audience consists of professionals who actually know the meanings of the terms involved.

      Consider that the Facebook example displays exactly none of the characteristics used in that article to define irony. It could be paradoxical or even satirical, but it's not ironic. They got that right. How, though, could one fail to consider the study of the worship of the Divine interfering with the actual worship of the Divine to be anything but ironic?


      Paul
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        How, though, could one fail to consider the study of the worship of the Divine interfering with the actual worship of the Divine to be anything but ironic?


        Paul
        I guess it depends how you look at it. I though it was coincidental. I considered the subject matter a red herring. The need to study is the reason for not being able to go to church. Would it be ironic if the subject was econ?
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        • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          I guess it depends how you look at it. I though it was coincidental. I considered the subject matter a red herring. The need to study is the reason for not being able to go to church. Would it be ironic if the subject was econ?
          It's the fact that the subject is theology that makes it ironic. But I agree it's not a great example - you could study theology without practising a particular religion, and therefore not be a churchgoer.

          A better example would be if they closed a church on Sunday to hold a religious observance class.

          ..
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          • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
            Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

            It's the fact that the subject is theology that makes it ironic. But I agree it's not a great example - you could study theology without practising a particular religion, and therefore not be a churchgoer.

            A better example would be if they closed the church on Sunday to hold a religious observance class.

            ..
            Frank,

            What do you call a fear of irony?
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            • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
              Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

              Frank,
              What do you call a fear of irony?
              I don't know, Dan. I'm too afraid to look it up.


              ..
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

            It's the fact that the subject is theology that makes it ironic. But I agree it's not a great example - you could study theology without practising a particular religion, and therefore not be a churchgoer.

            A better example would be if they closed a church on Sunday to hold a religious observance class.

            ..
            I would agree if the statement was, "After studying religion, I decide not to go to church." The outcome is opposite what you'd expect - if you assume the statement to mean his studies led him to the assertion that he didn't need to go to church.

            I don't see the irony in having to study - regardless of the subject - occurring at the same time as church. It's simply coincidental that the two options occur at the same time.

            But, hey, I can't agree with you all the time, Frank. Claude would get too jealous.
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            • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
              What do you call a fear of irony?
              Pressophobia, which is usually closely associated with wrinklephilia.
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              • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

                My attempt at humour while out having a meal with Family was to reply when the waitress asked (Her) "How would you like your stake cooked?" ... (Me) "In the oven." (Which I thought was hilarious.) However, she just gave me a blank expression and said: "On the grill?"

                Lol. Oh well.
                I would have laughed. It's like the time the cashier at the grocery store asked me if I'd wanted the milk in a bag. I said, "No, you can leave it in the carton."

                Blank stare from the cashier and a groan from my wife.


                Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

                I need a new joke for the bank. When I withdraw, they ask me "how would you like that" - and I've said "USD please". But now they've all heard that one, so I need something else.
                Arranged with the serial numbers in ascending alphanumeric order.


                Originally Posted by Alfred Shelver View Post

                Is it true that many or most of the things in Alanis Morrisettes song are not actually irony ?
                Let's just say there was a little poetic license involved.
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                Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              I would agree if the statement was, "After studying religion, I decide not to go to church."

              No. Irony is that we are discussing religion with the only man here who looks like the Devil.






              Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

              Pressophobia, which is usually closely associated with wrinklephilia.
              .
              Dammit! I looked those two up, for a few minutes...... until I got the joke.

              That's mean
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              One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

              What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
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              • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                No. Irony is that we are discussing religion with the only man here who looks like the Devil.







                .
                Dammit! I looked those two up, for a few minutes...... until I got the joke.

                That's mean
                Stop whining. Oh wait, that was the other thread.
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                "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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    • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      I need a new joke for the bank. When I withdraw, they ask me "how would you like that" - and I've said "USD please". But now they've all heard that one, so I need something else.
      In Franks.
      In pennies.
      Make it a double.


      <><><><><><><>

      To restaurants:

      Server: How was everything?
      Me: I'll never be back................ Today. OR

      I'm not sure. I'll try again tomorrow and let you know. OR

      It disappeared too fast.
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      "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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  • Profile picture of the author Alfred Shelver
    So my grasp on the English language and the many rules within it has seriously been found wanting since joining this forum with so many amazing writers and wordsmiths. So I have a question Is it true that many or most of the things in Alanis Morrisettes song are not actually irony ?

    Seems I am quite confused at what irony is ...
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