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Headline and critique of newspaper ad please

by alanj
4 replies
with help over in the copywriting section I've got this far but thought I should try over here for extra inspiration.


Add so far reads as follows


Who'd Like A Designer Kitchen
(without the designer price tag)


There'll never be a better time to buy a Genuine Meister Kitchen . Were moving to a new larger manufacturing facility...... and that means all our current stock has to sell by 12th June


All the latest German designs are on offer including Hi- Gloss, Wood grains, and Handle-less versions as well as Duropal German worktops Blanco sinks etc. A fully project managed installation service is also available.


Get the kitchen you've always dreamed of at low trade prices
But Hurry Sale starts Monday 26th May and must end Friday 12 June.


Call now on 0800 077**** to reserve your free design appointment


company logo details etc
#critique #headline #newspaper
  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Ok I am very up on kitchens etc and have no clue what a "Genuine Meister Kitchen" is.. and Googled it.. and Google wasn't so clear on what it is either.

    COMPANY NAME
    GIANT MOVING SALE

    Thanks to you our loyal customers our business has grown. we are moving into a larger facility, and need to liquidate our existing inventory. EVERYTHING must go - INCLUDING the kitchen sink!

    Get the kitchen of your dreams at or below contractor ( trade ) pricing. Between now and June 12th we have reduce the prices on all of our German designed cabinets; Hi- Gloss, Wood grains, and Handle-less. Our Duropal German worktops. Even the Blanco kitchen sinks.

    Get the kitchen you've always dreamed of at low or below trade prices
    But Hurry, the sale ends Friday 12 June.

    Call now on 0800 077**** to reserve your free design appointment today. Also ask about our project managed installation service.

    Originally Posted by alanj View Post

    with help over in the copywriting section I've got this far but thought I should try over here for extra inspiration.


    Add so far reads as follows


    Who'd Like A Designer Kitchen
    (without the designer price tag)


    There'll never be a better time to buy a Genuine Meister Kitchen . Were moving to a new larger manufacturing facility...... and that means all our current stock has to sell by 12th June


    All the latest German designs are on offer including Hi- Gloss, Wood grains, and Handle-less versions as well as Duropal German worktops Blanco sinks etc. A fully project managed installation service is also available.


    Get the kitchen you've always dreamed of at low trade prices
    But Hurry Sale starts Monday 26th May and must end Friday 12 June.


    Call now on 0800 077**** to reserve your free design appointment


    company logo details etc
    Signature
    Success is an ACT not an idea
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      I'd add PS's

      PS: It's first come, first served.

      PPS Just because we're selling them well below our usual prices doesn't mean we don't stand by them. Our x guaranties and Y warranties apply.

      Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

      Ok I am very up on kitchens etc and have no clue what a "Genuine Meister Kitchen" is.. and Googled it.. and Google wasn't so clear on what it is either.

      COMPANY NAME
      GIANT MOVING SALE

      Thanks to you our loyal customers our business has grown. we are moving into a larger facility, and need to liquidate our existing inventory. EVERYTHING must go - INCLUDING the kitchen sink!

      Get the kitchen of your dreams at or below contractor ( trade ) pricing. Between now and June 12th we have reduce the prices on all of our German designed cabinets; Hi- Gloss, Wood grains, and Handle-less. Our Duropal German worktops. Even the Blanco kitchen sinks.

      Get the kitchen you've always dreamed of at low or below trade prices
      But Hurry, the sale ends Friday 12 June.

      Call now on 0800 077**** to reserve your free design appointment today. Also ask about our project managed installation service.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10068846].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author animal44
    How is that any different to any other kitchen supplier...?
    Think about why people buy a new kitchen (hint: it's not to do with price)
    Signature

    People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
    What I do for a living

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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Does the client have a well known name?

    If so, headline:
    Now is the Best Time to get a Designer Kitchen by (company name)

    Thanks to our loyal customers, our business has grown causing us to move
    to a larger showroom. Instead of going through the time and expense of moving
    existing inventory, we are going to liquidate and pass the savings to you.

    (Those are the only changes I have.)

    In the Denver, CO area, there is a home remodeling company that is well known
    and does a lot of radio ads. The owner/founder does the ads, sounds like a nice guy,
    and he always explains his process, and warranties, and the reasons for his sales.

    Such as, (paraphrase) "The holiday season (Thanksgiving/Christmas in the USA) is a
    slow time of year for us. So, in order to keep my crews busy, we are ...."

    PS - Over, say, a decade, this remodeler has grown from just Kitchen Cabinet re-facing
    to add full Kitchen and Bath Remodeling, and to add Windows and Doors to that. One of
    his sons is taking over the business.
    Signature

    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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