Direct mail for a lawn care business example

6 replies
what would you guys do to improve the following.
the front and back are on 8.5 by 14 paper. the extra sheet is regular 8.5 by 11
It will be mailed to people that own a 1 family house that have bought it in the last 6 years.
the envelopes will be a full clear envelope so people can see the front without opening the envelope.
#business #care #direct #lawn #mail
  • Profile picture of the author smilealot
    Couple comments:

    1. the brochure talks a lot about the company yet there's very little in the way of benefits to the homeowner.
    2. do people really have time to read all that text
    3. what percentage of people are going to open 'junk mail'

    You may be better served with a postcard type piece, highlighting your special, the benefit to them, your website and spend some money with Facebook ads. I think you'll get far more ROI for less dollars.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    You're advertising tick control so wouldn't it be better to target homeowners that own dogs or cats? Why not do like smilealot said & target Facebook but instead of targeting landscaping leads maybe target homeowners with pets (local vets with Facebook Likes).

    Years ago I had a cat that got ticks & those things were brutal, it took about a month to get rid of them. At that point in time I would have written a check on the spot to have the yard treated.

    I agree the PDFs are very long, I basically skimmed the headings & bullets.
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  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    There is simply a whole lot wrong here...

    the size seems a bit weird to me and then to have 3 pieces and 2 different sizes and only printed 1 sided... I might look at 11x17 with a fold over?

    The #1 issue you have is getting someone to open the envelope ( there are other #1 issues,but this is the first one ) Page one with the clear envelope is immediately display price, showing ticks and "Core Aeration" and billing information and 8% and this and that and the other.. its all over the place. I wouldn't open this.. it would go in the trash.

    I know you have nailed down your demographic.. well you think you have... what age are you hitting? what sex? TEXT.. blows nuts when it comes to conversions. You need to have a bit of visual stimulation... a nice lawn or a 10X image of a tick or dead grass or something...

    Lets start with this.. are you married have a girl friend.. who gets the mail? don't have either? ask your mom and dad.. ask your neighbors I can tell you that women by a decent percentage are the ones that get the mail. A Women by a decent percentage is going to make the initial decision of trash can or counter top. It would behove you to better understand THAT demographic.

    So you "front page" needs to obviously have the address details. it needs to give the impression of what you do, and then give a reason to open the piece. ( if they aren't opening it.. you are not selling it. If ticks is where you want to go.. find some statement from the CDC in regards to ticks and lawn care.. and then a line that basically states for further details see page 2 or 3. GIVE them a reason to open the envelope. CDC or to se the money you can save SOMETHING anything.

    Blah blah all your stuff..I think Yukon and Smilelot covered that no benefit... its pretty scatterbrained in the overall layout.

    Bottom of your current first page you have a call to action. "Payment options" basic rule of conversion. if there is only way to contact you, you considerable drop the ability of the piece to convert. Why is there no e-mail or website or phone number here? Every one of those you implement you are increasing your conversion rate considerably. By adding one additional method you are statistically increasing conversion on average by 16%.

    You need to create some visual stimulation.. you need to centeralize your offer into one direction. you need to give them a reason to open the envelope. you need to clean up the call to action that creates the ultimate commitment conversion. you need to deliver the information add benefit, and drop in the call to action in a more fluid manor.
    Success is an ACT not an idea
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    • Profile picture of the author krzys555
      The piece is double sided. The first two that are 8.5 by 14 and not 2 separate pages.
      The piece is geared towards person making a decision, I did not consider who was opening the envelope. The age is between 28 and 45. The envelope is not fully clear, it is a standard #10 envelope so only the top of the first page shows, above the red line. Yes the price. We had a .5% conversion to clients last year based off of 10,000 mailed once. about 100 phone calls.

      Yes i do agree with the wife getting the mail. that definitely is my case, but she doesn't toss anything addressed to me out unless it clearly junk.

      the intent is for lawn care applications and not tick control as that is a separate mailer geared towards homeowners with pets.
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  • Profile picture of the author bob ross
    Definitely go with a postcard format as you'll get significantly more exposure. You might think "well if they're interested they'll open it" but here's another reason to go with a postcard: shelf life.

    Many people who might be interested in the service but not totally ready at the moment, will store a postcard much more often than they'll store a letter for later use. What happens is they'll tack it onto their fridge or in a drawer or in a bill organizer and they'll repeatedly see the postcard, until eventually they may decide to act on it.

    I'm really surprised you had a 1% response and 50% customer conversion from this mailing;that shows there's a lot of potential here if you make improvements.

    There's good info in this thread already but some quick thoughts:

    *Go to postcard format
    *Make it much more visual; be sure to have a photo
    *Go with 6x11 as it's the largest you can send at standard class letter sizer postage
    *Make sure to spell your email address right this time (it's misspelled on the back page)
    *Strengthen the headline to something they'll directly benefit from
    *Contain the special offer(s) to a box where it's all neatly organized, not in the copy.
    *Add credit card logos for both ease of payment and also credibility
    *If you have a solid facebook presence, add the FB logo and "/" address

    I wouldn't tout low pricing so much unless you're going after that market. The feeling I get many people feeling from you letter is that "Red Carpet" mixed with all these infomercial-type deals and savings is really cheesy. Like the "Red Carpet Motel" that advertises $60 rooms.

    Being that you're in a pretty upscale market, and have a name that seems to promise high end work, you shouldn't be cheapening it in your copy. A large glossy postcard with some great imagery and a nice clear rundown of benefits, mixed with a solid sounding reputation is all you need --- any special incentives can be contained right in a specific designated area that they can act on. Give a reason for a great special offer ... like for letting them keep your sign in their yard.

    Tighten your demographics up too, if you're able to analyze your existing customer database, refine your list using that data to find more like them.
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    • Profile picture of the author Brand Whisperer
      Too damn wordy. It's all over the place and it looks challenging to read...

      The marketplace doesn't like to be challenged, especially if they are
      not pre-qualified leads.

      It needs to be more focused, improved wording and structure. In my
      opinion I'd scrap it entirely. Isolate a main cause why your current
      customers hired the service. That will be the key component.

      You have a random graphic of tick control. It has no meaning and
      likely a disconnect in the ad for most.

      I don't even know what a 'lawn core aeration' is and I'm likely not alone...
      killing any interest in getting it done. Not good as that is your main lead

      I know it sucks to hear, but I'd kill it and start over. Borrow nothing from
      it as there is nothing good there. Simplify the ad

      Hope that helps. Don't hate me!

      Paul~ Strategy Specialist for Small Business

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