I've always been the technician, rarely dealing with sales. Things have changed, as a result, so have my responsibilities.
I have a rough draft of a letter I'm using for a simple introduction to businesses in a fairly small town (<10000). The purpose of this letter is to introduce myself w/o sounding too 'pitchy'. And at the same time generate a few calls and possibly some business.
Below is the letter, it's my best first attempt and now I'm stuck second guessing all of it. I don't expect perfection, but I don't want to look like an idiot either.
I wasn't sure which forum to post this in - copywriting or offline. I'm looking for feedback from folks in the offline forum, hope this is okay.
Greetings & Happy New Year!!
My name is Joe Blow, I’m a web developer, I’m local (any city, ST) and I want to work with you. I help small businesses and organizations like yours get more out of the web.
Using a combination of web design, local online marketing, review management and mobile awareness, I’ve helped dozens of small business increase their online visibility and in turn, their revenue and customer awareness.
Did you know that 50% of consumers who conduct a local search on their smartphone visited a store within a day. 34% who searched on a computer/tablet did the same. That’s HUGE!
Add to that 4 of 5 consumers use search engines to find local information and now you have a group of people with a real intent to buy or hire looking for you! It would be a shame to let those potential customers and clients slip away.
Why should we work together? Before we get to the ‘why’, let ask you a few questions:
• Have you updated your website recently?
• Are you happy with the amount of phone calls and foot traffic generated from your website?
• Do you have a mobile version of your website?
• If you search for your business (eg: florist Versailles) do you show on the first page?
• Are you happy with the overall look of your website?
If you answered ‘no’ to any of those questions then we should talk. You can reach me during normal business hours at (999) 999-9999.
Talking is nothing more than a conversation. We’ll take a look at your website, online visibility, concerns & opportunities. If, after discussing your website, we decide that my services fit your needs then we can move forward. If not, that’s okay too.
Let’s work together to make this year better than the last!
I hope to hear from you soon, again my phone number is (999) 999-9999.
PS: I’m always looking for people and businesses who are interested in partnering up! I pay a 20% referral fee for anyone you send my way that converts to a paying client. Contact me for more information.
Taking into consideration the nature of the town (less than 10000, heavy on agriculture) I tried to sound as 'natural' as possible and still extend the idea that I'm here and that I'm interested in working with them if the need is there.
Any feedback appreciated.