Would anyone be kind enough to dissect this for me?

Hi Synnuh,

I just had to reply after I read three "I"s in the first sentence.

It should be about them.

Start with the problem.

"The biggest problem facing XXXXXX contractors is lead siphoning."

You know....

That's where your competitors suck the lifeblood out of your business by using lead generating services like mine.

In 60 seconds you will understand how to plug this leak.

Improve your enquiry rate.

...and lock out those b*stard competitors who keep shaving off your customers like a deli shaving up a pastrami sub.

Want to eat the competition for breakfast?

I know a good deli....

Lets talk.

Synnuh.

There are so many options and I was originally thinking of future pacing but I deleted that idea and just let it flow....

for fun.

best regards,

Ozi

No!

None of this "I know you're busy, let me beg bowed at your feet for just a few alms, master please" business.

You are a VALUABLE EXPERT and it is their problem if they feel you're wasting their time.

Don't prejudge the call (in this case how they read the letter.)

Get in there with your biggest benefit up front. Lead with it. Where's your headline?

And as Ozi said, flip these "I"s to "You"s. YOU as the business owner want to lower your cost per lead, don't you?

Yep. I have been a contractor.

Nope. I never spent money buying leads.

Never had enough time to properly work the leads I generated. Yes, I'm sure I've been accused of being one of those contractors who never called people back. There were reasons, time was at the top of the list, and, I became good at qualifying.

Here is my thought from experience, rather than sell me leads, show me how to market my company better. This I would pay a consultant to do.

Here is how I generated leads. Whenever I went into a neighborhood to do a job I watched for people coming and going nearby, I would approach them, introduce myself, and simply strike up a short conversation.

Often I merely sent a mailer to the addresses nearby. Told folks I was working in their neighborhood, apologizing in advance for any noise and mess, etc. made during construction. I would invite them to stop by my jobsite if they had any concerns, or maybe wanted me to come by look at a situation of theirs.

Granted I was a small contractor. My approach to marketing myself I learned through trial and error, it worked though, well.

Yes from my experience consider not selling contractors "leads" but rather sell them the know how...

Is it in the first line, saying he seems to be interested in marketing / growing his business?

Or is it the ego trigger? Letting them know you (as a marketer) acknowledge the work they've put in, and give them a pat on the back? In a sense?

I'm going to have to read over it again, to digest it all.

I think you've already received pretty good advice.

However... I can tell you that no matter how good your copy is, when you ask people to dissect it, there's always going to be changes. People will always make suggestions, and you know what? You will never know if those suggestions are better performing than your original copy unless you test it.

Don't get caught up in crafting the perfect email and putting all your actual marketing efforts on hold.

Test it all!

I wrote another one. More aggressive this time.

Ozi, Jason, Doug Ewen, Nathan(?), if ya'll have some time and want to go over the new one, I'll shoot it to you in a PM. My gut is telling me not to post it here. ;/

I grabbed a couple bits from Ozi, and the flow from Ewen, and dropped lead generation from the picture all together.

I want to write a short, concise version, as well as a shorter personalized like Ewen produced, too.

I wish I could hit thanks more, ya'll!!

I'm going to put together a bunch of headlines, and a few different versions this weekend so I can start firing them off Monday.

I'm curious about the riddle, too, Ewen. ;D

I've got a bunch of headlines, now. When I originally wrote this OP, I didn't have one written yet.

Headline#1: Here's 4 ways your competition is stealing your customers.

Headline#2: How to legally steal from your competitors.

Headline#3: Contractors, this changes how you do business forever.

Headline#4: Stop letting other contractors buy these from me!

Headline#5: You get paid when your phone rings. I'll make it ring today.

Headline#6: How marketing on the internet is costing you BIG.

Headline#7: When you're tired of HomeAdvisor taking your money, look at this.

Headline#8: When you're tired of ServiceMagic taking your money, look at this.

Headline#9: Stop sharing leads with other contractors! They should be yours ONLY!

Headline#10: Tired of hearing about bids from other contractors? Look at this.

Right now, I've also got 6 different emails. I'm going to attempt to get at least the other 4 written today.

I'm still waiting on the list data to come back so I can start sending them out.

Those subject lines kinda clash with the "soft-sell" "personal message" of the body copy, imho...

Subject lines aren't easy...

Yeah, they were adjusted after my initial posting, and being told to be more aggressive / agitating the problem.

I'm a fan of the soft sell myself, too. Guess I'll generate another bunch of emails and headlines for those types, too. This is gonna get expensive lol ;/

Hey Ewen, thanks for the reply.

My initial thoughts behind the headlines came from listening to my old bosses piss and moan about how they couldn't get the phone to ring consistently.

Any time I would bring up SEO, PPC, web design, or anything of the sorts, I thought I was going to get fired lol -- they didn't want any part of it.

I spent the majority of today on the phone, and in Facebook groups with various contractors validating the offer, and the reception to the service is good.

I had 4 want to sign up already, and had to tell them it's not an offer yet. Had a few tell me to find a new business. One guy called me an asshole. Must have been a bad day to call. Another said I'll never be Angie's List. Pfft.

The problems each of them had, consistently, were:

- Crappy leads from HomeAdvisor and ServiceMagic.
- Sharing the leads with multiple contractors.
- Not being able to get in touch with the lead.
- Paying $50 for bad data, with no recourse.
- Old data, and the leads already got the work done.
- Too many tire kickers.
- Getting burned by SEOs.
- Hearing another contractor lowballed them and got the job.
- Buying leads, vs branding their business with SEO/PPC.
- Or just not being able to get the phone to ring, to build up their referral business.
- And guys that wanted more volume, and their PPC/SEO guys weren't delivering.

Quite a few people said they'd gladly spend $1,000 a day, to make $2,000 a day. Those are the guys I want to work with.

I'm going to test between the two, soft selling and the possibility of providing service, and hard selling through agitation.

I definitely see what you're saying, about the business owner being like "wtf this guy thinks he knows my business".

On the other hand, I'm feeling like understanding the problems their having, through what I've gathered in the past, and today, is going to speak directly to them.

I'll post back with another 10 headlines for the soft sell.

I managed to find a pretty cool dude that's going to guinea pig for me, so I can figure out my costs, and he can figure out whether the leads are solid, or not.

I used Google Maps to find them in my area. Calling HomeAdvisor/ServiceMagic's list is definitely on the agenda, though.

At first, I was afraid of picking up the phone -- not my strong suit. I just said screw it, I'm not selling them anything yet, just asking for their time, and picked up the phone to start dialing.

After talking to them today, though, that's gone completely. They were more than open to it, and even the one's that told me to kick rocks weren't that bad.

I also want a way to automate my sales funnel. At least the initial lead -> discovery portion, so I only have to talk to warm / hot leads, ready to close, and have all of their information in front of me, then get them on the phone to seal the deal.

That was my idea behind the landing page -> email. Between paid ads to the landing page, and sending out thousands of emails a day pointing to the LP, I wanted to bring as many leads my direction as possible.

This is a business I want to sell off for 7-figures+ up the road. I'm up for prospecting on the phone (now), but if it can be automated, I want it to be. At the end of the day, though, I'm a lazy *******, and my goal is to get paid the most, for doing the least. If that helps understand me at all. ;D

I've got 3 guys I sold insurance with that are chomping at the bit to start selling it for me, and I'd planned on them manning the phones for inbound leads. I hadn't given much thought to them cold prospecting, but it will be a part of the process, now.

In the end, this is all pretty much brand new to me, so I'm going with what I've read, seen tested, and what I see going on in the digital world around me. Then molding what I'm doing to fit as close as possible.

I've still gotta build the domain and sample page to show people what they're actually buying into. Then get a separate entity registered, $$$ accounts setup, and start the ad campaigns.

Once I get the kinks ironed out, I plan to reach out and split test your work (and a few others) against my own. I appreciate the help up to this point!!

OP....I'd test this approach first.

"Hi John,

Are you still interested in getting some new sales leads for your company?

We haven't met but I'm working with a few folks in your industry (don't worry
they're not competitors ;0))

Let me know.

Mike"

Hey Synnuh

Before I get on to my comments please believe me that everything I say is intended to be helpful. Having said that I could earn a full time living telling kids the tooth fairy doesn't exist and sleep well at night ;-)

To prove I am not a total dick I commend you for your efforts thus far and being smart enough to ask for help.

Ok, now reality.

I am a numbers and big picture guy, skilled at the big picture of what causes success over the long term. Here are some observations.

1. You said "I had 4 want to sign up already, and had to tell them it's not an offer yet". If this is true, if you had 4 people want to really sign up and you did not take their money then statistically your chances of success have been reduced by about 90% in ANY business venture you decide to try in the future that does not involve being an employee. NO it does not matter if you have a company name, insurance, an actual service to sell, a web site or whatever. Statistically you called, sold, they offered to buy and you didn't take their money. If you don't immediately slap yourself in the face and walk around for at least 2 full days telling yourself you were very bad and will never turn down money again, you are doomed! I could expand on this but if you reply with reasons why you didn't take their money rather than realize that was plain wrong, nothing I could say will help you.

2. It's great you came for advice. Now stop and act. Don't rewrite anything based on anybodies opinion ever again. The process is simple Ready, Fire, Aim! No that is not a typo! Your gonna miss, adjust and do it again Ready, Fire, Aim! Rewriting everything based on other peoples opinions is another nail in the coffin of what statistically makes people successful. Everybody has opinions. Unless a guy sits you in an office, shows you his exact funnel with the exact same prospects in the exact same industry he is guessing. Educated guessing? absolutely! some of the suggestions here damn near genius at times? yup, sometimes but 99% of the time guesses and won't put a nickel in your pocket because all of the guys making suggestions would be recommending something slightly different after a week of spending their own money and observing results of split tests. Also you don't need anywhere near 10,000 emails to test an approach.

3. Lets talk about this business in general. Selling leads, turning it into a company that will sell for 7 figures. Chances of that? So slim I can't quote a number. Make great money at it? Yes, but generally most make nothing, those that do make bank get burned out because turn over is brutal and its a grind and technology changes constantly so as soon as you figure out how to generate leads for X amount, the game changes.

How do you make money and end up with an asset to sell for 7 figures? Own a real business. I will get shit on for claiming lead gen is not a real business but honestly 99% of the time it's not AND I am qualified to say this because I am in this "business".

Better chance to success I have seen over and over again? Someone is good at adding value to a niche. Could be management, lead gen whatever. They buy a piece of a business that needs what they can do and that can profit greatly from it and they apply their skill to make whatever piece they own worth many times more. So in your case, sell lead gen, bank money and find a business you want to invest that money in where your lead gen could have huge impact on the bottom line.

Even at that point (owning a real business) they are often a horrible asset as far as being able to sell and 9 out of 10 times the ones that sell for enough money to sit someones ass on a beach are the businesses that make the decision to re-invest their money into buying the building and land they are on rather than rent it. I can't tell you how many businesses I have worked with that after 15 or 20 years in business made more from their investments such as building and land than they did by selling the book of business. There are many reasons for this that I won't get into.

I know this all goes way beyond the scope of what you asked for as far as what email to send but again I just fast forward through the movie, if I don't like the ending I rewrite the plot.

Thanks Peter. I'm always open to honest criticism. Unless it's from my ex wife.

Let me try to address them, to the best of my abilities. It's late, and already been a 16 hour work day ;/

1) Yeah, I biffed it. ;/ I am kicking my own ass, but there's a fire lit to repeat the process. I like to learn painful lessons, I guess. ;/ It's harder to forget them.

2) I'm learning that, too. I've got about 30 emails, and ~20 headlines sitting there, and I'm actually working on the copy for the landing page right now, redirecting to a thank you page with more information and the discovery form. I had initially intended to use a full blown lead nurturing autoresponder, but I'm finding it almost impossible to wrap my head around.

I'm only going to end up using one, maybe two of the 30+ emails I've written, as the initial cold prospecting email. Even then, I'm at the point where I'm going to say eff it and just outsource it, so I can hold someone accountable to the results and let me put my brain juice to use on other areas.

3) Would you consider maintaining ownership of all marketing assets as a "business"? All of the traffic is coming to my site, then directly to the contractor's phone. My idea was to sell off the "land and building", by way of selling off the site and advertising accounts. Is that along the lines of what you're talking about? As far as building a "real business"?

I've tossed around the idea of getting a GCL down the road, and keeping the leads to myself, subcontracting out the work. If I can't eventually sell the business for what I'm looking to get, that may be the next natural step for me.

Am I on the same wavelength? It's late, and I'm not sure if I completely understand what you're throwing my way.

I definitely get being a dumbass for not collecting checks this morning. And that the initial email I send isn't near as important as just sending an email, period.

It's the whole business thing I don't know if I'm following you on. The way I'm looking at is, there are 297 markets in the United States with more than 100,000 people. Getting $1,000 a month, minimum, from 297 contractors in just one industry would get me pretty close to that 7-figure valuation mark, or am I off base somewhere?

What type of turnover are you talking about? As far as churning clients? If you're giving them an ROI, what would make them churn? If that's what you're talking about...?

I know it's a lofty goal, but I've never been afraid of hard work. I built 450 sites in a little under 18 months, and managed them for almost 4 years before Google got all uptight. I'd like to think I've got a bit more hustle in me than the next guy. That could just be narcissism, though.

I appreciate the lengthy, thought out response! Almost time to bundle this thread and list it as a WSO.

Bit late for me here too and others may chime in but one thing I will address is this.

"What type of turnover are you talking about? As far as churning clients? If you're giving them an ROI, what would make them churn? If that's what you're talking about...?"

The simple answer could go like this. I personally do not understand why my microwave heats my food, it just does so I am careful not to burn myself when I pull it out. There is always churn in EVERY business, especially lead gen and marketing.

The more experienced and in depth answer is there is ALWAYS churn on clients and how much money you make them does not stop it from happening because:

- The owner is a moron
- At some point they start to screw up their close ratio and blame the leads
- Someone, anyone internal that is more important than you think they are (daughter, son, cousin) thinks your an a-hole, doesn't like your breath, your voice reminds them of their ex, you pick a reason... and they sabotage you
- Someone gets divorced, someone goes to jail, one of your leads ends up punching one of the owners in the face or grabbing someones ass... and the list goes on.

now I know all these examples may seem a bit silly but really all I am trying to say is "shit happens" and there is no service on the planet that does not have churn.

ROI doesnt mattter. Do NOT expect humans to be logical.

Why would you expect people to pay you just because you make them money when
humans today kill each other, rape each other, steal from each other, ingest things they know are killing them, cheat on their spouses and so on...

Yes I know I am a ray of sunshine ;-)

Really though again I am just using extreme examples because this is reality.

What you must do is do the best you can, observe and document churn (average months businesses stay on) and build a plan that maintains + grows the business.

That's something I guess I had somewhere deep in my thoughts, but my idea was to focus more on my own inbound marketing to keep a steady stream of clients coming in, and keeping the pipeline filled.

Sadly, even though your examples were wild, I believe every one of them lol I enjoy your rays of sunlight. I try to speak my mind too, but people tend to get offended. ;P The reasons you listed, though, are exactly why I carry a 9mm on my hip. People are savages, these days. ;/

There's a ton of tracking in place right now, to hopefully help with the churn. I think if I can turn a profit I'll hustle my ass off for a year, or two, then reevaluate what I'm going to do with it.

Since ya'll are helping me so much, here's the two emails I'm going to run with for cold prospecting.

I didn't completely swipe them, but I also didn't want to go and mess up what ya'll had given me by trying to personalize it too, too much. I hope you guys (Ozi and Ewen) don't mind! If I turn a profit with them, I'll make sure to pay back the favor. Beer, and steaks for all. Unless you're a vegan, then I'll keep the beer and the steaks.

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Subject: quick question

Hey <name>,

Noticed you’re all over on YellowPages and client reviews, and have an idea on how to help you make them even more profitable for you.

Not sure if this is right for your situation, or not, but it seemed like you would be open to it -- you’re already working one major angle.

Just a couple minutes of your busy day to tell me if this makes sense or not for you.

Sound good?

Click here for your personal breakdown.

<me>
<name>
<phone>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Quit letting your competition siphon the leads from your local area!

Hey <name>,

Roofers all over the US have finally figured it out.

They’ve managed to stop their competitors from getting away with “lead siphoning”.

You know…

Where your competitors buy all the leads in the area that should have been yours, leaving you high and dry, without a quote to give.

Want to cut through the competition like a 1” nail through wet patch on an August afternoon? There’s something you need to see.

You'll see a strategy that can help set you apart in the local area, and get your phone ringing off the hook -- immediately.

Together, we can keep your competition from siphoning the lifeblood out of your business -- and you, honestly.

Click here to sink your nails into the local area.

<me>
<name>
<phone>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I also dropped the lead nurturing funnel, in liu of sending all the paid traffic to the landing page, filling out the form, and then being taken to the offer page and discovery form. All of the email blasts will lead straight to the discovery form.

Again, ya'll, I'm more than grateful for the help you're giving me. Gave me hope for the WF, and I'm glad that you guys haven't been run off, yet.

What headline are you going to use? It affects the open rate extremelly. So take time to think about it too.
And this paragraph:
I know you’re busy, I appreciate your time! I need about 60 seconds for you to go over something I know your business needs.

It's not good. I wouldn't read further, I can't find interest. What is the contractors problem? Put it in the first paragraph and promise to offer the solution further.

Helen, read my latest post. Or the entire thread. There's a metric fxck ton of info here, but I'm way past the initial email I posted.

I've got a friend putting together some ad graphics for me. I'm going to start building the domain, getting the database pages created, and get the first contractor's landing page built so I can figure out my costs.

I'm going to jump back on the phone and start calling more, though. I sat down this evening to think about how the flow of the call should go, and I'm drawing some blanks.

I think this is the biggest reason I've avoided the phone. Mainly because I'm sick of scripts from the days I sold insurance. I know they worked, but it's robotic.

The people that were interested yesterday were interested because it was human to human, I think. If it came to me asking for the sale, I don't know if I would have been as confident. I've got Asperger's, my social skills are engineered ;/ The engineering isn't quite adept in that area, yet.

I know sticking to a straight up script doesn't work, conversations don't happen that way. What I don't know is the general flow and how to close the sale.

Following up with them on the phone, though, is where I'm falling short. Here's what I've thought of, as far as how I think the flow of the conversation should go. All of this traffic will have already filled out a form on the discovery page, expressing interest.

-------------------------

Rapport until you can get them smiling.

- Go over discovery form questions.

• What is your comfortable service area? (What zip codes)
• Who is your ideal customer?
• What is your most profitable service?
• Do you have existing customer reviews?
• Where are they located on the internet?
• Out of 10 leads, how many can you close?
• If you could rank on Google, what keywords would you rank for?
• Do you have photos or video from previous work?
• Where is the media located on the internet?
• Are you able to handle a volume of calls?

- Introduce to landing page lead generation.

• Go over how I'm creating a page on my site that funnels the leads through a call tracking #.
• The page gives them branding and instant trust, and helps set the first impression leads are getting about the contractor.

- Go over benefits again.

• No sharing leads with other contractors.
• No bad and old data, leads that already had the job done.
• Instant connection to exclusive leads, no chasing down potential customers.
• Building your local branding and generating leads at the same time.

- Tell them the minimum costs, and how we build the page, setup tracking, and start sending leads.
- What are they comfortable starting out?
- ?????
- Let them know an invoice is in their inbox.
- Begin work once fulfilled.

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Is there something missing? I can be brash at times, and could use a bit of help closing them once they're on the phone. I want to make sure I can assume the sale, but also naturally ask for it.

The first few painful lessons are usually enough to get me headed in the right direction, but any shortcuts that can be offered up, I'm all ears. Or eyes.

I've also started thinking about getting my General Contractor's License, bonding and insurance so I can eventually subcontract the work and run all the leads through my own call center.

Also, what do you guys think about profit sharing? I tried it with one contractor last year and it was a pain in the ass to track, but I feel like it's a solid move, and a chance to generate more money when I find contractors worth their salt.