Need Opinions Between (2) Lawn Service Flyers

28 replies
I need help with some copywriting on (2) Flyers for my landscaping business. I don't have time to re-write the whole "Theme" before sending to the print shop. Note, I still have to run spell and grammer
check, so there may be some mis-spelling. However, that's not my main concern.

As mentioned, I don't have time to change the whole theme according to everyone's suggestions, unless it is some small changes. I'm solely interested on your opinion on which one you think would
estimate to have the highest response rate.

As you can see, the entire difference is between the marketing strategy (a positive theme) vs. (a negative theme.)

We've averaged 1-3% on previous flyer campaigns. With the amount we have going out this year, versus the amount of new customers we need, we honestly only need a 0.30% response rate, or one customer per every 300 flyers. This should be guaranteed results and we left plenty of room for margin of error.

Unless you see a very small mistake that you don't mind pointing out, I'd like to keep this into more of a simple Poll thread with answers voting either "Positive theme" or "Negative Theme." Remember, I'm only looking for which one do you estimate to draw the highest response rate!

Thanks!



#flyers #lawn #opinions #service
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  • Profile picture of the author AmericanMuscleTA
    Looks lile your pictures aren't coming through.
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  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    I'm a bit confused by your question (perhaps it's just the "math" I don't understand?)...

    You've averaged 1-3% response on previous flyers... and you only need a 0.3% response this time around?

    Why don't you simply send out a smaller batch of your previous flyers (the ones that worked), save a bunch on printing and delivery costs, and still get your required amount of new customers at a lower CPA (cost per acquisition)?

    Originally Posted by Megan Camus Hammons View Post

    We've averaged 1-3% on previous flyer campaigns. With the amount we have going out this year, versus the amount of new customers we need, we honestly only need a 0.30% response rate, or one customer per every 300 flyers.
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Is there a difference between the images? I don't see one.
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  • SARubin,

    It got a bit late last night, and I could have probably made that context a little bit more clear. What I'm saying is on previous batches, we averaged 1-3%, depending on which flyer we used. We are a small family business and can only handle a limited amount of customer acquisition at a time this year. The reason for using different flyers and copywriting is I'm trying to test the waters with different marketing material. Long story short, we're sending out 8,000 to 10,000 of these in a few weeks, and we need to pick up only (20) new contracts in total.

    With that said, here's the direct link to the two flyers! Thanks dearly for all you guys time, sorry the pics didn't work the first go around.

    Positive:
    https://ibb.co/g2dV6m

    Negative:
    https://ibb.co/bTXwe6
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    • Profile picture of the author SARubin
      Originally Posted by Megan Camus Hammons View Post

      The reason for using different flyers and copywriting is I'm trying to test the waters with different marketing material. Long story short, we're sending out 8,000 to 10,000 of these in a few weeks, and we need to pick up only (20) new contracts in total.
      Hey Megan,

      OK, that makes a bit more sense to me.

      I don't know exactly what your timing urgency (and patience) is like, but if I were consulting with you, I'd have to recommend starting with sending out 1000 (maybe 1500?) of each, to see which one gets the best response.

      Then we'd print, and send the winner to the remaining 7000 +/- addresses. (if it was even needed. Who knows, we might get your 20 new customers from the first test run?)

      Of course, this is assuming these are being delivered to addresses, and not just randomly put on thousands of windshields in a parking lot, somewhere?


      If you do decide on a split test, then we need to be able to track the winner.

      For example: the part where it says sign up now and get a discount, would be changed to say something like "mention code 1A and get a discount." And the other flyer would say "mention code 1B and get a discount" (JUST AN EXAMPLE)

      That way when someone calls, you can tell which flyer got the response. (either "A" or "B")

      I hope that makes sense?



      On the other hand, if you just want to print one flyer, and run with it (I still have to recommend testing small, before rolling out big) But if you insist on going for it in one shot, here's a couple other observations that may (or may not) help you...

      Keep in mind, I don't know if I'm your target market, or not. But, I do own a home with a half acre front yard. So I'll base my opinion as if I were thinking about hiring a lawn-care service.


      As I see it, each flyer has a couple decent parts, and a couple weaker parts...


      At first glance, the negative theme has a bit more overall power behind it. A bit more emotion, and clarity.

      The headline "5 costly reasons to avoid basic lawn care services" is not great, but at least we know immediately what it's about.

      If your audience is interested in lawn care services, at least it'll get their attention.


      One secret to great copywriting is... It doesn't necessarily need to have beautiful prose, but it does at least need to be of interest to your audience.


      The other headline that simply says "Do you care about quality?" by itself doesn't have any meaning. It's a generic term that could mean anything, really. And even the bullets under it, only vaguely touch on what you're offering.


      Then, on the sidebar I like the headline from the negative one "Why Choose All-American" but, I think the sub-headlines (along with their corresponding bullets points) on the positive flyer are a bit stronger...

      Guaranteed worry free
      No effort, it's easy
      Value you can't beat


      Of course, this is all speculative, given the limited knowledge of your business, your offer, and most importantly your target market.

      As a copywriter, there's a lot of questions I could ask, to really drill it down (like is your target market commercial, or residential... what's the basic demographics, and psychographics of your target market... what flyer(s) did you send out last time, and what was the resulting numbers... who's currently your ideal customer... what makes you better than the other guys... etc. etc. etc.)

      But, seeing as how this is just a forum post, I'm trying to keep the answers more generalized.


      I hope I'm not confusing you too much here (with too many moving parts) but you did ask for opinions


      I could go on, but this reply is already starting to get a bit lengthy.

      If you have any other specific questions, I'll help you if I can. I don't hang out here too much when I'm working, but you can post your questions here, and either I'll see it when I come back around, or maybe someone else can help you out?


      In the mean time, I'll finish this with the same idea I started with...

      If you're trying to test the waters with different marketing material, then the obvious answer is test run 1000 (or so) of each, to see which one gets the best response.

      Hope this gives you something to think about

      All the best,
      SAR
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    • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
      Positive. People are lazy, and if they can afford to have their yard mowed they will let someone else do it. If I received the negative in the mail I would have tossed it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Most times, a negative angle works better than a positive angle. The reason is because people are more likely to run away from pain than toward pleasure.

    Your negative angle flyer is missing something very important. It doesn't plainly state that your service is better than basic. State it. Don't expect your prospects to assume it.

    Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    I vote for the negative. I think the writing could be improved... Are you a basic lawn service company?

    You never stated it and, as Alex already said, it should be.

    My peeve with the basic lawn guys... They don't come on time... Yes, I know, the lawn doesn't look that much worse at 7:27 than it does at 7:00 (or vice versa) and, no I don't have to be there for them to cut the grass. But we agreed they come at 7.

    How much of a problem is basic lawn service companies in your area?
    '5 costly reasons to avoid basic lawn services' is good but it limits... maybe too much... Do you not want clients from people who are not happy with their lawn services yet don't think they're dealing with basic?

    Would you not be better off with
    5 costly mistakes Peerland home owners make when it comes to lawn...?

    Reasons to avoid is too calm... Costly mistakes... too polite.

    You're wasting money... less calm. If what follows speaks to one of my problems, I'm awake!

    If you're going negative, go negative, wake them up... Be specific to their problem (maybe you are for people in your area) and stir, then offer (yourself) as the cure... clearly.

    Below are links to 3 threads about flyers (one is for lawn companies). There are a lot of good comments about what makes a flyer work well... Read through them....

    https://www.warriorforum.com/offline...-critique.html

    https://www.warriorforum.com/offline...t-mailing.html

    https://www.warriorforum.com/offline...-pages-ad.html
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  • So much great advice posted in this thread in a short time, that I don't even know where to begin. However, I'll start off by I have read through two posters personal business pages and I found myself quite surprised of the language spoken through some of your business pages. There's a lot of talented and helpful people here, who are really on top of their stuff. I'm short for time this year, I have a very short window (Need to have these to the print shop) by the 23rd, however, I have bookmarked and will be seeking out for some help from one of you this year on a few different pages of marketing material. With that said, let's get down to work.

    It has also been brought to my attention, I left some very important details out, (my target audience). My target audience isn't homeowners who
    presently mow their own property. My target audience isn't people who are are looking for mowing services only. 90% of my target audience already uses a current lawn service provider. I am focused on customers who want full service (Lawn and Landscape Maintenance). Customers who instead of wanting the basics, they want to keep their whole outdoors tidy. My target audience is divided between 15 neighborhoods, all with a minimum house cost of ($500k) and a median income of ($250k and up.) The said target audience, all have large beautiful homes, with lots of landscaping, lot's of flower beds to maintain, shrubs to trim, and so forward.


    Now to the flyer:

    1. So it's bluntly obvious, from you guys opinion, the negative material gets the most votes, which is what I was counting on, loud and clear!

    2. It's came to my attention, that my headline is decent, but still appears weak. This is where I'd really like some help with some strong words and pointers, because without being able to pull them in, I'm screwed off the bat.

    3. It's been brought to my attention and is very clear that there no "clear definition" drawn between me and every other basic lawn service. The problem I am having, every few paragraphs I come up with to make this clear, winds up being way to winded and long to fit, even after shortening them down.

    Anyone have any suggestions with the above in mind?
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      Attention Home Owners Who Want a Picture-Perfect Yard

      There are two types of lawn care services, basic and us.

      Basic
      they trim the grass
      need to be reminded to trim the bushes
      break sprinkler heads

      US
      list 5 things you do that they basic does not do that have value to your clients

      • Drought Tolerant Landscaping
      • Custom Water Features
      • Garden Design
      • Swimming Pool Design
      • Gazebo Design & Construction
      • Hardscaping
      • Site Planning
      • Shed Design & Construction
      • Custom Fire Pits
      • Drafting
      • 3D Rendering
      • Dog Run Construction
      • Weekly mow/edge/trimming
      • Weeding and bed cultivation
      • Seasonal Color Programs
      • Masonry
      • Licensed pesticide applicators and operators
      • Aeration, power raking, and overseeding
      • Fertilization programs for turf and planting beds
      • Hedge trimming and pruning
      • Mulch and compost services
      • Spring and fall cleanups
      • Plant health care using integrated pest management techniques

      bonded (do these 2 matter)
      or things you do differently (on time, clean, only use professional, well-trained people).



      Then, make your offer (keeping what Sarubin said in mind).

      Originally Posted by Megan Camus Hammons View Post

      So much great advice posted in this thread in a short time, that I don't even know where to begin. However, I'll start off by I have read through two posters personal business pages and I found myself quite surprised of the language spoken through some of your business pages. There's a lot of talented and helpful people here, who are really on top of their stuff. I'm short for time this year, I have a very short window (Need to have these to the print shop) by the 23rd, however, I have bookmarked and will be seeking out for some help from one of you this year on a few different pages of marketing material. With that said, let's get down to work.

      It has also been brought to my attention, I left some very important details out, (my target audience). My target audience isn't homeowners who
      presently mow their own property. My target audience isn't people who are are looking for mowing services only. 90% of my target audience already uses a current lawn service provider. I am focused on customers who want full service (Lawn and Landscape Maintenance). Customers who instead of wanting the basics, they want to keep their whole outdoors tidy. My target audience is divided between 15 neighborhoods, all with a minimum house cost of ($500k) and a median income of ($250k and up.) The said target audience, all have large beautiful homes, with lots of landscaping, lot's of flower beds to maintain, shrubs to trim, and so forward.


      Now to the flyer:

      1. So it's bluntly obvious, from you guys opinion, the negative material gets the most votes, which is what I was counting on, loud and clear!

      2. It's came to my attention, that my headline is decent, but still appears weak. This is where I'd really like some help with some strong words and pointers, because without being able to pull them in, I'm screwed off the bat.

      3. It's been brought to my attention and is very clear that there no "clear definition" drawn between me and every other basic lawn service. The problem I am having, every few paragraphs I come up with to make this clear, winds up being way to winded and long to fit, even after shortening them down.

      Anyone have any suggestions with the above in mind?
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      • This post helped out a ton, appreciate it. Perhaps it was seeing something in writing that helped give me a visual perspective. I'm still working on it as of now, hoping to get this knocked out shortly!
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    "Basic" and "US" is not a good contrast. "Basic" describes a service level. "US" describes a group of people, not to mention a country.

    Come up with a noun (or noun + adjective) that describes an enhanced service level.

    Megan, since you're under a time constraint, IMO your best bet is to hire a copywriter who knows postcard marketing.

    Alex
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    • Alex, thanks for the insite. Fortunately, his post was a great help just to help me see it from a different direction. I understand basic and us isn't a good noun selection, I was not going to re-write his word for word, and I understand how us and basic stood out in his post, but I'm assuming he was just using them as an example. Looking back at the flyer I drew up, it looks like my noun usage could be out of wack.

      I'm still working on this thing, can't seem to get it right. I'm actually helping my husband with this, but unfortunately, we can't afford to hire someone right now. Believe me if this was a year down the road, we would. In fact, we do every year, because he always likes to try and "Improve" his marketing material. However, we relocated to Houston after I graduated, as it would have more opportunity or work with my job. This kind of forced him to relocate his entire business and start over. Then we moved and Harvey hit, so financially were in a tough spot right now. If this was mid-winter 2019, you can bet we already would have went after one of these professional guys, we can tell from the responses there are a lot of crazy knowledgeable people here who are passionate about marketing. I can rest assure after looking at some of these professionals personal page in their signatures, that they could draw in customers and save a lot of headache and time. Definitely in the intentions to hire one next year if were blessed with a better year!
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  • Alex, how about Mow-and-Go Services vs. Full Service Companies?
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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Originally Posted by Megan Camus Hammons View Post

      Alex, how about Mow-and-Go Services vs. Full Service Companies?
      I like them... nice contrast.

      I'm curious... is your pricing competitive with the mow-and-growers? If not, that's not necessarily bad... just depends on what percentage of your market are price shoppers.

      Alex
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      Like Alex, I like them. But conditionally. Which brings me to what Helisell already touched on:

      For a particular kind of positioning / market it's a good headline. But... I actually woke up wondering about your positioning and who you're after.

      In my area, there are several levels of landscapers... based on several levels of homeowners.

      I assume something similar exists in your world.

      Your headline should speak to the group you target. Does Mow-and-Go... do that? Not to mention that there are levels of quality within the full-service group. So, if you are really looking only for people who've got a mow-and-go service right now and are thinking about full-service, that's great.

      But we are a full-service landscaper is not a great point of differentiation (there are too many of them, at least in my area).

      What's your positioning? What makes you different?
      Who are you going after?



      Originally Posted by Megan Camus Hammons View Post

      Alex, how about Mow-and-Go Services vs. Full Service Companies?
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  • Profile picture of the author rickybluntjr
    I definitely say the Negative one is way better.

    Do you currently know the biggest problem, frustration or concern (from THEIR perspective) that they have with their current lawn company? If not, survey them.

    If so, you can just call that out in the headline.

    Also, what can you say that your company is the only one who does it?

    If they already have a company they are using, you have to interrupt them with the problem since they are not currently looking.

    A possible headline and subheadline

    Is Your Lawncare Provider's Definition of A Good Job... Just Cutting The Grass And Then Nickeling & Diming You For Everything Else?

    We're the only local company that never does a half job. We make sure everything from the curb to the house is picture perfect before we leave, often for the same price as the nickel and dime companies.
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    • Ricky, another great reply. Thank you! I'll be re-reading your post several times and drawing thoughts and ideas from it, again, I really appreciate you guys help and time!
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  • Profile picture of the author helisell
    I don't like either of them.

    What point EXACTLY are you trying to get across?

    I think your headline should be EXACTLY what your reply to this question is?

    Would your reply be something along these lines?

    Often a cheaper lawn service works out to be a lot more expensive than a Premium lawn service.

    I think this would make a lot more sense to your potential customers.

    Or how about....

    "She suggested A1 Premium Lawn Services"

    "I used Bargain Bobs Lawn Service to save money"

    "I paid the price"

    "A1 Premium Services actually saved us 40%
    and now I know....cheaper 'aint cheaper in the end."

    "Don't make my mistake"



    .
    Signature

    Making Calls To Sell Something? What are you actually saying?
    Is there any room for improvement? Want to find out?

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  • Profile picture of the author zeus136
    Your images have not come through, but in any case you could employ a flyer designer at fiverr.com who will create a professional looking flyer for you.
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      She added links to them that work at the end of post 5.

      Originally Posted by zeus136 View Post

      Your images have not come through, but in any case you could employ a flyer designer at fiverr.com who will create a professional looking flyer for you.
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  • Alright, I'm back with a new attempt. Granted, I haven't spell-checked, grammer-checked, or fixed any phrases that need looking over. I did steal some ideas from some threads that were posted earlier in this post. Please let me know if I'm headed in the right direction or even improving it?

    Thanks!

    Another Try: https://ibb.co/kQ1WJb
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  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    Well Megan,

    It looks like you've gotten a whole host of opinions here.

    So I guess I'll toss another 2 cents of my (wisdom?) into the fray...


    I don't want to be too harsh here, but the copy on your new flyer, from the headline, to the bullet points, to the almost non existent call to action... was a bit painful to read.

    I won't shred it to pieces, because I realize you're on a tight timeline (and I don't want to hurt your feelings) But there's really not much good about it.

    If you do decide to use it, I would seriously recommend only sending out a small batch to start (1000 pieces, at most) and see if you get any response before spending money on 10,000 pieces.



    I see a couple replies here referring to a "pricing" angle as the motivator for your offer?

    I would have to recommend NOT using any motivators of lower price, or lower cost, in this lead generation piece.

    If you do, you'll likely get a bunch of responses. But, your respondents will now be pre-disposed to use price as a criteria for considering your services.

    And having owned a service company myself (home renovation business) I can assure you that more times than not, bargain hunters turn out to be the worst clients you could "never" want to work for. (for more reasons than I can feasibly go into, on a forum post)

    Of course it's entirely your choice, what type of client you want to work with.

    But if you're not looking for the low end of the spectrum, here's a couple things for you to consider...



    First... There's 2 main purposes of a lead generation piece...

    1. Is to attract your ideal client

    2. Is to repel the people you don't want as clients.

    It's really not any more complicated than that.



    Now, I don't know who your ideal client is. But I'll assume you don't want only "bargain hunters?"

    And based on the description of your target audience, there's a large number of people in that group where "saving money" is not the main motivator.

    Just look at the vehicles in their driveways, for example. If it was just about saving money for this group, they'd all drive Ford escorts, or Hondas, because it's inexpensive transportation, right?

    But I'll wager many of them have more luxury vehicles, like BMW's or Mercedes Benz's, or new pickup trucks (or something else along those same price lines) for transportation?

    These people are not as concerned with pinching every last penny. They're more concerned with status.


    And sure, everyone wants a good deal, and no one wants to spend more than they have to. But you're dealing with a fairly affluent group of people (or at least they'd like to believe they are) who have a minimum house cost of ($500k) and a median income of ($250k and up.)


    After working with a number of people in this social status range, I've learned that many of them are more motivated by a "pride, prestige, status, and exclusivity" angle. Rather than just saving a few bucks. (there's a lot of billion dollar industries that have been built around people wanting to "keep up with the Joneses")


    You're dealing with a group of people who most likely want to take pride in their McMansions. But just as important, (perhaps even more so) they want to have their prestige and affluence, acknowledged by other people.


    I'm not saying it's a good motivation, or bad... it just is, what it is.


    Here's some more ideas leaning in that same direction, for you to consider. This is NOT well crafted copy, it's simply a first draft "brain dump" that I tossed around in my head while drinking my first cup of coffee, this morning...

    [begin copy]

    You deserve to...
    Come Home To A Beautifully Manicured Lawn... Everyday!

    If your current landscape service doesn't leave you "thrilled" with the appearance of your yard

    If their Mow-and-Go service is only slightly better than doing it yourself

    If you're finally ready to have a beautifully landscaped home, that will make you the envy of your friends and neighbors...

    Call All-American Lawn Care Today
    (123) 456-7890

    And experience the executive treatment you, and your home deserve!

    *bullet point
    *bullet point
    *bullet point

    No muss, no fuss...
    We do all the work, and you enjoy the rewards of a beautiful home!

    Mention this flyer and receive an instant $50 off your first professional landscape manicure.


    Note: Due to the exclusive nature of our personalized, and professional service, we are only accepting 20 new clients this year. Last year our schedule filled up quickly. So don't wait. Call us Today, at (123) 456-7890


    [end copy]


    ***** Then we format this into your flyer, while keeping the current picture of the manicured lawn as a visual enticement*****


    Again, Megan, this is not well crafted copy. It's simply an unedited brain dump, to get some ideas flowing (I'll probably look at it tomorrow, and wonder what the hell I was thinking, with some of it?)

    But do you see a possible angle here? We're starting with a promise of prestige, then adding in a bit of pain with their current service, then coming back around to an uplifting message when they choose your service
    .
    Finishing off with a discount offer, and some fine print "scarcity" if they don't act quickly.


    We only have limited space to use for this mini roller coaster of emotion. But the "BIG IDEA" is "pride, prestige and status"

    Clients that respond to this angle, will not quibble over every penny as long as you leave them breathless with the results.


    One final thought...

    I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't caution you about one other factor...

    If you really research the motivations of your target market, and craft a well thought out sales piece, that triggers their desires...

    What are you going to do, if you send out 10,000 pieces and get 200 to 300 responses (or more)? When you're only prepared for 20 new clients?


    Which could be one more reason for you to test small, before rolling out big.

    Something to think about...

    All the best,
    SAR
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    • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
      Originally Posted by SARubin View Post

      And experience the executive treatment you, and your home deserve!

      *bullet point
      *bullet point
      *bullet point

      All the best,
      SAR
      Just playing around what Rubin & others stated here are some blanks filled in

      * Organic Lawncare

      * Custom Shrubs

      * Detailed Flower Arragements

      * Certified Lawn Care Profesionals

      * Experience the difference

      Call now for our exclusive offer.
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Headline idea...

    Is your lawn service helping or hurting your property value?

    There's more to curb appeal than short grass...
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  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    I'm sure I am a bit late for this years print... but it seems to me you know what it is you offer ( or at least I hope so LOL ) but you are not getting that point across in your flyer.

    I personally have a lawn care business.. I also do Marketing service for a good amount of my "Competition" in the area as well. I deal with myself included 7 different advertising efforts. All of us use ala carte services.

    Correct me if I am wrong, that is NOT what you do.. there are a number of services included in your weekly service. The question is then.. what are the services. cutting, trimming, clean-up, I am guess weeding flower beds? what else? do you do mulch? and thatching, and aeration?

    I think the nouns you use are the least of your problems. separating what it is you do vs what the other cut only services do would go a long way in separating your business from the rest, as well as creating value. As in, laying out in black and white why your service is more vs the others. right now.. I just dont see it.

    You should really think of this piece as being more educational.. "Why we are different" vs trying to sell. The education will sell itself, because you will be different in the market space.
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  • Profile picture of the author gainerp
    Banned
    Thanks for sharing this informative content.
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