Nobody cares about your SOB story...

It's the worst approach. Does it work? Sure...occasionally. It's right up there with insinuating that you'll have sex with someone if they buy.

A related subject is when I hear sales and marketing speakers talk about their battle with cancer, their child's birth defect, their addiction..the loss of loved ones.....

To me, that means they are lacking good material. I know it's so we will form an emotional bond with them...but to me it's lazy.

Someone will buy it if they choose to buy it. Divorce, cancer and heart surgery? He must be the unluckiest person in the world. I think someone desperate would resort to doing something like that. However, it is becoming a trend so lots of people are becoming desperate? Not really the case. Some of them are trying to get into the bandwagon just to make some money off of people.

TBB and Claude; it depends on the person receiving the message methinks.

I would never reach out with such an approach but if someone shared a 2-3 line email with me sharing how their mom has a terminal illness and they are hungry to succeed in blogging, I consider responding. Why? I have watched my mom linger from a terminal illness for the past 6 years. For the first 4 years I fought my grief, and it hardened my heart. Then I began to grieve as she became more of a vegetable, and crying and purging some deep nightmares opened me up and.....gasp....made me compassionate to the feelings of afraid, desperate folks! Who'd a thunk? LOL....

I know how they are feeling BUT they need to be serious about blogging and doing what it takes to succeed for me to respond. These folks are rare birds. If they email emits the "God I am struggling but am prepared to be ALL IN to do this right", I have been in those same exact shoes, so I connect with them and go from there.

I do hear ya though guys; I am compassionate to their fear-pain but know I am not a savior, nor would I align with anybody who says "God things suck now and I am at wit's end; give me something for nothing." This only prolongs suffering and deepens pain. Def feeling compassion for these folks though; I know the feeling of wanting to jump off balconies to end my pain and grief. So exploring, feeling and releasing those emotions, few things on earth bother me to any level. That's the upside of deep healing

Ryan

50 years ago the same kind of SOB story was sent to any and everyone in Direct Marketing. I remember Joe Karbo showed me a few of these letters he rec'd.

IF I get one of these, I have my standard operating process:

I reply:

Give me a call at your convenience, ASAP, when you have at least a half hour of UNinterruptable time.

Mostly get: Ok, I'll call you tomorrow at 10. Is this a good time?

ME: Reply; I don't schedule phone calls, if I can answer I will, if not you'll get my voice mail, leave two times when I can return your call.

On the phone call: 1) Why me? How did you come across me, where did the intersection take place between you and you thinking I might be able to help?

Continuing: What do you know of my past and why do you think I might be able to assist?

Then (using TBB's example); When was your divorce? Amicable or bitter? Kids? Ages? Living arrangements today? I may explain if asked, "just trying to get a feel for your time, your needs and whether or not I'm the right person to help at this time."

Then, more inquisition; What sort of cancer? How long? Treatment? Prognosis?

Heart surgery? What kind? When? What are your restrictions?

See, I want them to paint a picture of where they are at, and how much time, energy they have for THEIR project, after gathering this, THEN I ask about what they want to do and what is their initial plan.

All too often, they eliminate themselves, but if they are the intrepid sickly, by the end of the call, usually only about 10-15 mins, I give them an assignment.

Do this, let me know when you are done and I'll review it and send you the next assignment. IF they do it, both assignments, we'll talk on the phone again.

Honestly, by this point, I see about 80% of them posting on the forums looking for something easier and quicker, THEY'VE REJECTED ME.

For the 20% which remain, I then make them create a one year PLAN OF ACTION.

Few make it past the first month, in spite of all their woe and ill fortune, they've come to the conclusion, I was the wrong person to ask. Once in awhile, you find a gem, and with some polishing and having helped him to his self awareness, he manages to overcome his sob story, and actually does something.

This isn't an everyday event, maybe 5 -6 times a year, so over the past decade, maybe 50 such people, with perhaps, 5 getting what they want, because by then, they've taken me out of their picture.

If it became an everyday occurrence then my SOP would probably change to "F*CK off".

GordonJ

PS, I find it helpful at the WF, to inject a little snark into a post now and then, see who the thin skinned wannabees are, and put them on my do not let them disturb me list.

I don't think there's any special groundwork to be done, I just see it as regular social interactions.



I just ask.

i get these emails daily and its so annoying!

as you said nobody cares..and you know why?
because 99,9% is a scam
so no doubts that people dont believe this crap anymore...

Never really liked it when someone takes advantage of another person's kindness. Just get straight to the point and tell me what you want from me, you know?




I get it, you've going through a rough patch (or are you really?). But I'm not going to hire you/buy from you/be your partner just because I felt bad for your story. You've got to have the skills/product to back it up, so don't act so desperate.




Reminds me of this Filipino VA I'd hire on an on-and-off basis. She asked for a raise and I agreed. The occasional small talk let me know some parts of her life story--you could make a drama film out of it--but she never used it as an excuse. I gave her a raise because she did a good job.

So I had this meeting today with this young man. He was sent to me by one of his Professors. He is in College getting a Marketing degree and looking at his school records.. he is doing pretty good... very good actually. but there is a glitch.. he is good at learning it and cant apply any of it at all. Some online marketing class last year he had to create an online business.. concept, development, running it... laid out $1000 and made $5.00 - and now that I am thinking about it.. he made an A in that class.. hmmmm

So through the course of conversation... there came the point where he was sharing his pitfalls in life - his SOB story. I kind of looked at him and while I said this, I was typing it out.. so you said this and this and that and this and that ( it was actually a pretty long list ) and he said " Yeah " I said " ok.. just a second. " I placed a headline over the list " My Excuses for Denying Myself Success " and printed it out, and handed it to him.

The look on his face was about priceless.

But that is what the SOB story is.. its a defense mechanism allowing for failure to be ok.