my lead generation email... your thoughts???

6 replies
I've been mucking around the last few days and have put together a quick email that I am thinking about sending local businesses in my area.

A couple of things.

1. The way I will gather names is to cross reference those who are paying to be in the yellow pages with those who have a website that isn't ranking in google.

2. I haven't finished the email, but my thoughts are that I will send them to a page with a video that reveals 5 mistakes business owners make with a call to action.

3.What do you think of what I have so far??? What could I do to improve it?

Hello John,

My name is Paul Bright and I've being trying to find your business in Google using the phrases "personal trainer Brisbane", "Brisbane personal trainer", and "personal trainer in Brisbane", but you were nowhere to be seen.

I ended up finding you by dusting off the yellow pages and looking through that.

I did a little research to find out how many of your potential customers are typing in those phrases, and our software reveals that over 1,000 people per month are typing in "personal trainer brisbane", 500 people are typing in "Brisbane personal trainer", and another 600 people are typing in "personal trainer in Brisbane".

Unfortunately what this means, is that if your website isn't showing up on the first page of google for these phrases, than these people are being introduced to your competitors, and not to you.

I've put together a quick video for you that will reveal......

#email #generation #lead #thoughts
  • Profile picture of the author rohnsmith
    what are you exactly trying to say ..? so you want us to give the response......
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    • Profile picture of the author grimace_86
      i guess i was after a critique, and whether you think it would work any good.
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  • Profile picture of the author Plugleap
    I think you need to spice it up a lot, put in some images if possible and immediately show some references
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    I would not reveal the keyword phrases.

    They can take that info you just provided them and use it for their site title.
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  • Profile picture of the author matrixman
    Whatever you do keep it short as possible. Be very succinct. Use short paragraphs (even one sentence paragraphs). Tell them what's in it for them quickly. Business owners are not going to spend alot of time reading a long email.

    Also the subject is more important than anything to get them to read your email. Putting the business name in the subject somewhere usually get's them to open up the email. You can also do something like "<business category> in <city>?". So in your example it would be something like as "Personal Trainer in Brisbane?" would probably work great. Then in the body of the email say how you cannot find them listed, etc. Ending emails in ? sometimes works better. Ultimately you would be best served by tracking open rates, etc. and that would tell you what subjects worked best, but you would need to have codes in the emails you send out.
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    • Profile picture of the author jkstam3
      I too am having some difficulty in generating my lead email, I sent one out with zero response. I think my issue was length.

      I do want to say though I like your concept, but I agree with not revealing the keywords.

      I used a tactic in my email in which I told them I had not contacted any of their competitors yet, so they would be the first person in their area to employ the SEO techniques I offer to increase traffic and hopefully clients (I checked the competition to see if anyone else had done any real SEO t validate this) but if they did not want to utilize my services I would offer the deal to MR. xxxx (local competitor).

      Also, from the information I've gathered here, a letter with hand written address to the owner, phone call, or face to face will always get much better results than email; which should be used as a last resort if trying to land a client.
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