May I have your opinion on this digitaly "flier" design

8 replies
This is a campain we are going to promote locally to generate buzz for our business. We are marketing to local Facebook owners who we hope will want to participate and test drive this local marketing system I have been developing for the last 2 years.

It will be promoted through Facebook ads that will take them to this "flier" that will will store on a special tab on our Facebook page.

As you can see I just want them to have enough info to call.

These are not internet marketers, mostly smaller business that provide services or products to consumers.

Too much hype and I believe they wont respond.

I see a few issues already but Appreciate any suggestions to this draft.


Eddie
#design #digitaly #flier #opinion
  • Here's my immediate take:

    Wazoo isn't professional. English should be a little better edited. Try to paint a picture.

    I like the features, but I'm a marketer - will these features matter to local businesses?

    My professional thoughts:

    Credibility sells, not hype. If you have testimonials add them, if you don't add screen shots of proof elements.

    If you don't have those at least borrow Facebook's credibility.

    Explain the viral growth of Facebook, how generating "likes" will increase their viral growth, put them in remembrance to their customer base, while offering a powerful contacting platform for specials/updates/branding.

    Give it an impacting name, 90 Days To Double Your Red River Business...

    Call to action: I suggest saying.. this message is going out to 105,897 (whatever the database is) and we're only accepting 30 participants, so if you have even the slightest inkling to participate - call us today for details.

    Another great tactic would be to set up a recorded message to get over customer reluctance to calling a live sales person.

    Hope this helps, make sure to test variants & Good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
    Man, I hate to sound negative as I know you've had a lot of success offline, but that flyer is lacking.

    The logo is not a headline. I'd use something like: WANTED: 30 Montgomery Area Businesses Who Want FaceBook Customers This Month!" etc, etc

    A ways down there's some potential headline copy. The font is too small, because you're trying to cram too much in. This needs bullet points and less dense text. ...the reverse text on bottom doesn't work either.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pestew
    Excellent suggestions from Kingliness and Brucerby!

    I would add that you need to make it easier on the eyes. The graphics is good but too dominate. Too many caps seem like your SHOUTING. Bullets work good, maybe use stars for your bullets instead of that distracting big star in the middle. Try to tone down the long sentences. If this is a first impression, maybe offer a website to get more information on your offer. Then a screencast video would always help in conversion.
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    • Profile picture of the author Eddie Spangler
      Hey I appreciate responses. I dont take anything as negative because I just told my guy to throw something together so I can see how it would look. All suggestions are appreciated.

      Keep in mind the Facebook ads kind of act as the presale.

      I plan on giving them a clickable link to the press release for those that need added credibility

      Eddie

      Now one thing I didnt explain is that I am testing a "pay what you think its worth model" I need to just be able to get in front of them to show them how this works and why its nothing like they have ever been offered.

      Of course my "pitch" will hopefully guide them to a price that is reasonable. The main goal of the first 30 people is not profit but rather to create a buzz. Kinda like review copies to $5.00 Wso to $49 Clickbank concept.

      My early tests didnt pan out well because I was offering for such a low price that people just could not understand how we do it for so low.
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  • Profile picture of the author danielkanuck
    Replace the header graphic with a better headline. You have to imagine your ad as being a billboard. Imagine people driving by and seeing your billboard from afar. You only have a few seconds to get them to call the numberon your ad and take whatever action you want them to take. The same thing applies here.

    Include testimonials on the flyer and lead them to a free report of some sort. Once they request your free report, mail it out to them and include multiple case studies from clients that you have helped in the past.

    This way they can see if the businesses that you helped before are similar to the kind of work that you do. Case studies can do more pitching for you than you could ever do for yourself.

    Include a website for them to visit also. Not every prospects wants to act in the same way, so keep that in mind.

    I think the flyer is catchy, and with the modifications that i and the other members have suggested, i think you can make it a hit.

    You should also consider turning this flyer into a 1-page direct mail piece. I think this can be very effective for you also.
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  • Profile picture of the author MChriston
    Definitely needs a headline... WIIFM (benefits)... Proof (testimonials)... More direct "Call to action"

    Also I reckon it needs what designers call "the creative use of whitespace"... In other words, first impression is it's a bit dense with words so some people may be put off from reading straight away before even engaging with the content.

    That said... A great killer headline *could* hook people and this would not matter so much.
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  • Profile picture of the author Phillip Lambert
    It's crap - I can already tell it aint gonna work.
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