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Help with Sales Pitch for local Businesses

by speedylikesKJ
16 replies
Hello i am about to Reach Local Businesses for Offering them to list their business on my directory. i have created a simple pitch
Here Is my pLan

Send Them Email

If got Positive Response then Make A call for closing sale .
Any ways here is my pitch for email

Hello !
I am glad to inform you that we are launching a new xxxxx Guide Directory website where we intend to list all local businesses in our Directory .We are creating a Directory Website which will help people of xxxxx to look for their favorite shopping places and entertainment Places.
What Benefits You Will Get

·We will do Marketing For you on Local Media (radio, Brouchers, News Papers)
·We will Market you on facebook ( using facebook ads we will reach to each and every individual from xxxxxxxx)
·We will Advertise Your Business On Google ( using google adwords )
·Get Position On Google`s First Page For Keywords Related To your Business ( we will make it happen)
·We will write articles On your Business

*******With all This Marketing We can surely help you to bring you sales and potential customers at very affordable rates *******************


Pricing


Per month standard Listing 10£
Per Month Featured Listing 20£

Packages


6 Months Standard Listing Only for 60£
6 Months Featured Listing Only for 120£

1 Year Standard Listing Only for 100£
1 Year Featured Listing Only for 200£

3 Years Standard Listing Only for 280£
3 Years Featured Listing Only for 500£
Please Note My Traget Market is a small Town In Uk ,

Will highly appreciate Your comments and suggestions As i am doing this for first time so want to learn from you thanks in advance
#businesses #local #pitch #sales
  • Profile picture of the author speedylikesKJ
    Any one how can help ?:rolleyes:
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  • Profile picture of the author SeanyG
    You started the pitch talking about yourself "I'm glad to inform you"... "we are creating" etc.

    Instead talk about them and what they want.

    "You need more sales and your website should be doing this for you. How would you like to double your sales without doing any extra work?"

    Start by hooking in the prospects but stating that you can get him what he wants instead of you and what you're offering...
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  • Profile picture of the author dburdon
    Offer to help with their Google Places page.
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    Fastnet Print Services
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  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    Do you have any verifiable traffic to the directory? I would expect, as a prospective client, to see some statistics. I don't want to pay if no ones coming to the directory.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mwind076
    Originally Posted by speedylikesKJ View Post

    Hello i am about to Reach Local Businesses for Offering them to list their business on my directory. i have created a simple pitch
    Here Is my pLan

    Send Them Email

    If got Positive Response then Make A call for closing sale .
    Any ways here is my pitch for email

    Please Note My Traget Market is a small Town In Uk ,

    Will highly appreciate Your comments and suggestions As i am doing this for first time so want to learn from you thanks in advance
    Good luck with your emails, I hope they work out. I have one suggestion that has nothing to do with your pitch. Please take this as helpful and not rude. You MUST do a spell check and punctuation check. Your "sample" has numerous incorrect punctuation and formatting, as well as spelling. If you want to be taken seriously by business owners you must take care of the basics. On top of that, you may be sending your email to other Administrators/Assistants (like me) that have been doing letter writing for years and if your pitch is NOT professional, it will be tossed quickly and never get past the front door.

    Hope that helps!
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    • Profile picture of the author speedylikesKJ
      Originally Posted by Mwind076 View Post

      Good luck with your emails, I hope they work out. I have one suggestion that has nothing to do with your pitch. Please take this as helpful and not rude. You MUST do a spell check and punctuation check. Your "sample" has numerous incorrect punctuation and formatting, as well as spelling. If you want to be taken seriously by business owners you must take care of the basics. On top of that, you may be sending your email to other Administrators/Assistants (like me) that have been doing letter writing for years and if your pitch is NOT professional, it will be tossed quickly and never get past the front door.

      Hope that helps!
      Thanks or your Suggestion and My purpose was same to know my mistakes and correct them so i am happy you pointed out some thing
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      • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
        Banned
        This sales letter for the UK market isn't going anywhere. No offense but it's rubbish, no point in telling you otherwise.

        No question about it, you need a professional copywriter. But then, even before you do this, I think you need to reevaluate what it is you're actually offering.

        Directories are so old now unless it's for a very specialised niche market, the approach I believe to be completely redundant.

        Of what benefit is there to the average High Street business owner? I'll tell you the answer... Practically none / zero.

        You haven't got the targeted traffic these businesses are looking for. And your competition will blast you to smithereens with much better marketing / lead generation platforms on the local level.

        Back to the drawing board for you, don't waste your time with this one. Business owners want and need much better ideas than this to increase their levels of new business.

        Have you carried out any local marketing research yet to see what in demand services local businesses want most? This is your first priority.

        You need to find out what their pain is, what is their top frustration? What is it that is keeping them up at night which they need a solution for today?

        And once you've identified what this is, you then need to go about delivering their ideal solution to them on a plate. In other words turning their current pain or frustration into pleasure.

        Your sales copy by the way, get the emphasis off 'I this and I that'. Use you and your's more often. And switch it out to benefit rich sales copy instead. Your conversions will rise as a direct result of this action.

        Best,


        Pete Walker
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        • Profile picture of the author speedylikesKJ
          Originally Posted by Pete Walker View Post

          This sales letter for the UK market isn't going anywhere. No offense but it's rubbish, no point in telling you otherwise.

          No question about it, you need a professional copywriter. But then, even before you do this, I think you need to reevaluate what it is you're actually offering.

          Directories are so old now unless it's for a very specialised niche market, the approach I believe to be completely redundant.

          Of what benefit is there to the average High Street business owner? I'll tell you the answer... Practically none / zero.

          You haven't got the targeted traffic these businesses are looking for. And your competition will blast you to smithereens with much better marketing / lead generation platforms on the local level.

          Back to the drawing board for you, don't waste your time with this one. Business owners want and need much better ideas than this to increase their levels of new business.

          Have you carried out any local marketing research yet to see what in demand services local businesses want most? This is your first priority.

          You need to find out what their pain is, what is their top frustration? What is it that is keeping them up at night which they need a solution for today?

          And once you've identified what this is, you then need to go about delivering their ideal solution to them on a plate. In other words turning their current pain or frustration into pleasure.

          Your sales copy by the way, get the emphasis off 'I this and I that'. Use you and your's more often. And switch it out to benefit rich sales copy instead. Your conversions will rise as a direct result of this action.

          Best,


          Pete Walker

          Well I think I need To create a simple and short email ..nothing like a newsletter works best ,and like according to you if i run website about a specific niche , Businesses won`t be interested ?
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  • Profile picture of the author O0o0O
    Hello, my major suggestion would be to include the description in your email only like this:



    Hello !
    I am glad to inform you that we are launching a new xxxxx Guide Directory website where we intend to list all local businesses in our Directory .We are creating a Directory Website which will help people of xxxxx to look for their favorite shopping places and entertainment Places.
    What Benefits You Will Get

    ·We will do Marketing For you on Local Media (radio, Brouchers, News Papers)
    ·We will Market you on facebook ( using facebook ads we will reach to each and every individual from xxxxxxxx)
    ·We will Advertise Your Business On Google ( using google adwords )
    ·Get Position On Google`s First Page For Keywords Related To your Business ( we will make it happen)
    ·We will write articles On your Business

    *******With all This Marketing We can surely help you to bring you sales and potential customers at very affordable rates *******************

    Would you be interested if we could do this for you?

    Then if they email back saying "yes", then you call them and talk about pricing.

    Hope this helps
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  • Profile picture of the author seabro
    Speedy,

    I don't wish to be rude but I am going to +1 on Peters post.

    I think you should reconsider your offering. As it is, I fear you will get little positive response.

    All the best.

    Seabro
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  • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
    Always test something because you may be surprised at the results. However, as a business owner for many years, it would take 2 seconds to go in the trash. City and Business directories are just done to death and business owners know it themselves. However, you can catch their attention with something that has not been done to death like mobile marketing, QR codes or Facebook fanpages. Anything would get their attention more than another city directory.
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    I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mary Wilhite
    Good Start,keep it going.All the best.
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    • Profile picture of the author midasman09
      Banned
      Holy Schamoly! You're trying to sell the whole enchilada in ONE Email!

      Keep it Short and Simple...in the beginning.

      1) Get their "Attention" with a REASON to want to read further!
      "Can you handle more exposure for your business"

      2) Tell em BRIEFLY what you're doing.
      I've created a "Directory" that will list businesses and local consumers will be drawn here because_______

      3) Offer a FREE Listing!

      Then...when they've "Raised Their Hands" (expressed interest in having a FREE Listing)....then....you can Hit Them Up with Better Positioning for X$, etc.

      Don Alm.....Marketing Guy
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  • Profile picture of the author Susovan
    Originally Posted by speedylikesKJ View Post

    Hello i am about to Reach Local Businesses for Offering them to list their business on my directory. i have created a simple pitch
    Here Is my pLan

    Send Them Email

    If got Positive Response then Make A call for closing sale .
    Any ways here is my pitch for email

    Please Note My Traget Market is a small Town In Uk ,

    Will highly appreciate Your comments and suggestions As i am doing this for first time so want to learn from you thanks in advance

    I won't discourage you but would like to advice that, it would be better if you start the pitch with the problems that your target audience face in absence of the type of service that you are providing. It would help them identify the objective and "What is in it for me?" in your offering.

    Or you can start with some questions or services that they might be willing to have e.g. "Do u want greater reach? more exposure to your niche market? Google page one rank of your business? heavier traffic to your site? And no one to help you on that? Worry not......We here to take you to the next level"----something like this will be more attractive, according to me.

    Work on that and please correct the spelling and grammatical flaws. there should not be any ideally. Your mail will be the interface between you and your prospective clients.


    Will be happy if this helps you in any ways.

    Regards
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