Are you sure you're not afraid of them saying 'YES'?

20 replies
In all honesty 5 years ago when I started, this was the case.

Jeez if someone said 'yes' to me , hell that meant I would then have to actually do something, put things in motion, carry out some customer service and deliver on my promises

When they said no, I felt justified that I could show that I'd done something to try to win that business and 'relieved' that I didnt have to deliver.

What a dumb fother mucker!

People would say' hey Mike, you have to go through all those no's, each one takes you closer to a yes'.....Yes thats what I was afraid of!!!

Fortunately I realised this was the case and set about rectifying things.

I ensured there were systems in place that meant when someone did say yes it was just a simple process for me to discover exactly what they wanted and then to either deliver or outsource it, we weren't floating around in no mans land wondering what the hell was going on, communication was sharp, timely and to the point and there were pre qualification checkpoints along the way so nobody was wasting each others time if we werent suitable for each other. if they said no it could actually mean more work for me as I purposefully didnt put any systems in place to deal with the NO's, I would still attempt to find out why they said no and attempt to overcome those objections.

So physchologically as well as financially I now wanted them to say yes as it meant less initial hard 'work' for me (and of course some income)

After a few months of this, I enjoyed them saying yes, I loved being able to deliver for them and now I have much more flexibility in myself and the systems although still useful are no longer neccesary pieces of my business model, I can decide how I handle each individual 'yes' free of fear.

Dont let the fear of them saying 'yes' to you stop you making a success of yourself, its a hard one to admit to, I felt like a right moron and many people didnt understand but you know its not the highest of mountains to scramble over, hell its barely a hillock and the view from the other side is simply breathtaking, come and see for yourself!
#afraid #offline #saying yes #success
  • Profile picture of the author iamchrisgreen
    This is a REALLY interesting post. Having everything in place is essential to making sure you can keep getting out there and selling.

    Maybe you could turn what you've worked out into a WSO?

    I'm sure it would be helpful for a LOT of people on here...
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  • Profile picture of the author Warrior Ben
    Great post!!

    One of the most important things in sales is actually ASKING for the sale. Too often people are afraid to ask for the sale and then they wonder why they didn't get it!

    Another great way to lead people to "Yes" is to ask some seemingly obvious questions during your sales pitch that lead your prospect to say yes. Get them in the habit of saying yes to you and then when you ask for the sale, they will be more inclined to do so!

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  • Profile picture of the author Mac the Knife
    Definitely good stuff. I believe the mindset you touched on is a HUGE reason why more people aren't successful. Yeah, hard work is, well...hard, but if you take the time to be prepared, then it becomes less hard each and every day. Now, with the system I have in place, adding $250-500 per month requires VERY little additional work on my part. In fact, it is more likely I will be the one saying no to a potential client (I know, smack me in the face like a red headed stepchild) but as my client base grows, the lower value clients become less worth my time. It is taking the time to prepare and having the upper hand that can lead to true success. If more people would take your words and mindset to heart and focus on landing just a FEW clients, they would look at the whole process differently. Congrats on your success and thanks for the positive post!

    Mac the Knife
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    • Profile picture of the author SendCards
      I think if many of the offliners here on WF did a deep self examination like mjbmedia has, many would find that they can no longer 'blame' a faulty WSO or sound advice given to them by other Warriors. Even though I am pretty good at sales, I myself had been sabotaging myself for so many years until I sorted out and discovered what 'responsibilities' I would glady take on and follow through on in my business, and which ones I would be better off farming out. Business is fun again and when it is fun for me money has always followed much more easily...

      Great Post,

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  • Profile picture of the author osok521
    Thanks... I really needed this post. Now can you please take your foot out of my ass lol? I'm going after 'YES' today!
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  • Profile picture of the author jondabach
    I had a similar fear of SEO mainly because I was only able to obtain high rankings by paying through the nose and hadn't tested my outsourcers.

    Great post.
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  • It is a great post -
    Some people are afraid to SUCCEED!
    They are comfortable in their failures, and use it as an excuse for why they do not succeed - when in effect the only reason they did not succeed was because they did not try it in the first place.

    They do not fail because they do not try -
    They fail because they do not do -


    "There is no try - There is only do"
    - Yoda
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    • Profile picture of the author dancorkill
      100% subconsciously you can be afraid of the YES and sabotaging yourself.

      Good action items, having the systems means your ready to deliver.

      Also having a system is a great sales tool.

      "We will fix your website" vs "We will run your website through our proven 5 step system"
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  • Profile picture of the author Komrad87
    Thank you for sharing this, I believe I am going through this now as I keep stalling in doing the work that I need to get done. But just got to keep telling myself that if I do the work then I can leave my job and do the work I want and to be my own boss.
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  • Profile picture of the author SubUrbanHype
    I know at first I was scared that somebody would say "Yes." I wasn't so confident in my skills at first and it was terrifying thinking that I might be barking up more than I could handle, and messing up.
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  • Profile picture of the author amykitty
    Yes mean agree and you should responsible for it,so have a deep consideration before your yes,it is my view.
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  • Profile picture of the author mjbmedia
    hey some great replies and ideas too, keep them coming


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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Rivers
    It's funny that somebody brought this up.

    I never used to believe that someone could be afraid of success, until it happened to me.

    After being a marketing director for years and having the vice president and regional directors come to me for advice on multi-million dollar marketing campaigns I still didn't value my own advice.

    It wasn't until I was sitting at home one day and wondering why I was still making $18 per hour, when I could be making $1,000 per hour or more for my marketing advice, that I slowly realized, it was because I was afraid of it actually working out.

    Then I'd have to quit my comfortable job, with my comfortable friends and be faced with all new challenges that would require me to get out of my comfort zone.

    The first way in which I overcame that fear was to spend some quiet time alone and develop a affirmation statement which acknowledged my fear, but also gave me the many benefits that I would experience by facing my fear every day and winning the battle.

    Secondly, I took action on a daily basis but early in the morning before my fear could dominate my thoughts. So, for example I would quickly wake up and go to the gym. Then, I would come home and complete my four marketing tasks for the day.

    I would then set aside time on my two days off a week to follow up with leads and prospects that responded to my ads.

    This way, I would keep doing the actions to get me to my next goal. Eventually, the fear subsided and I began to flow in my new calling.

    Hope this helps someone,

    Chris Rivers

    Chris Rivers
    Want to target Chiropractors? Grab this FREE DFY Chiropractic Back Pain Funnel
    and generate new patient leads for your trial or recurring Chiropractor clients!
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    • Profile picture of the author SendCards
      Originally Posted by Chris Rivers View Post

      Secondly, I took action on a daily basis but early in the morning before my fear could dominate my thoughts. So, for example I would quickly wake up and go to the gym. Then, I would come home and complete my four marketing tasks for the day.

      I would then set aside time on my two days off a week to follow up with leads and prospects that responded to my ads.
      Good stuff Chris, I walked away with two really important points..

      Early in the morning...... and

      set aside time...


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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Bucker
    From one Mike to another, Great thread. So many people have not learned the lesson you have from your post. The only thing to fear is fear itself. As you may already know all fear stands for is False Evidence Appearing Real. If all it is, is false evidence why should we give any energy to that lie.

    My friends if you begin to fear any one thing. See that fear as merely a lie coming against you. Laugh at it and move toward it. One thing I have learned in life is fear is a force that has a personality of being afraid itself. If you will move toward it fear will move out of your way. It has no boldness. It only has the perception of strength. It is again FALSE Evidence Appearing Real.

    Good Gob Mike, I like it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jay Rhome
    I too didn't think highly of people with fear of success, yet plainly realize it HAS been my case for many years. Ouch. Good thing is that it's in our control. We can change that.

    Many of us here on the WF have personalities that are more driven to internet/technical aspects than go-getter and people skills, and we do suffer from paralysis by analysis, i.e. looking for that "edge", that "magical" game changer... and not doing much in the way of real productive work.

    I am that way. Yet I realize that with this type of character traits, feeling prepared gives one an amazing boost of confidence to get going. So I fully agree with you. Sure we might over prepare but that's a good part of what we need to become - at last- action oriented. Action types can go out there in a minute and make sales and make money, but perfectionist is not a label often applied to them. In other words, know yourself. Strengths and weaknesses. And we can team up with people that have different skill sets too.

    I got this great question to ask oneself from Eban Pagan: "How can I make success inevitable?"

    Find a way to have success DESPITE of your own shortcomings. In any case, that will help build a better business model.
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  • Profile picture of the author Aaron Doud
    Fear holds us back and sometimes it takes a big loss for us to finally see it.
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  • Profile picture of the author mojo1
    This was an incredible post that I can totally relate to. Thanks to another warrior for referencing it today.

    This is why I have returned/refunded very few wso's because although some are just too obtuse to execute almost all of them have real actionable nuggets that will rely on actual well thought out systems in order to implement.

    This implementation does really depend on the buyer's ability to have supply side means in place before asking for the sale and taking a clients money.

    Even something as simple as invoicing requires determining your merchant processor, setting it up, determining your price, creating your invoice and thank you emails, etc.

    Bottom line, it does take work on the front end of getting your executable systems in place in order to actually service your new client.
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