Why Are You Resisting Building Your Business?

17 replies
Why Are You Resisting Building Your Business?
Its no secret that learning cold calling is an opportunity for a person to expand their potential, increase their confidence, reach their sales goals, and basically experience their financial creative ability to the fullest. For some their first telemarketing sale was the first time they ever realized they had the ability to work for themselves, and that’s empowering.

However, for some of you that’s no big secret..., some of you reading this have already learned that much, you’ve already had your initial break through sales, you have already made some money, and yet you still aren’t feeling successful or fulfilled. You still don’t look forward to working on your business.


Because even though you know the basics of how to do it, you are still failing to reach your ideals and goals.

Og Mandino says that “No two men will describe personal success the same, yet failure is always described the same; it’s a mans inability to reach his goals whatever they may be...”.

But you have ability right?

You know you have the ability to make a lot more money, you know you can pull a sale anytime you ever need to now, but you are still floundering and you haven’t gotten into a successful routine. You still are spinning your wheels most of the time, and you still don’t have real traction.


There is only one reason:

Because you still don’t look forward to working on your business.


Well in Offline sales, probably the MAIN reason many aren’t consistently pulling in finances, is because you are experiencing a personal battle with being forced to cold call, and/or you don’t feel good at it.

We hate doing things we feel forced to do and don’t feel good at.

Cold calling is something that some feel they have to do... not necessarily something they want to do, and the reason you are in business for yourself is because you don’t want to “have” to do anything, right?.

We are all (entrepreneurs) freedom seekers, we don’t want to be told what we have to do to succeed, it is our instinct to rebel and resist those kinds of ultimatums internally. Its human.

In this case though, that is the definition of being a rebel without a cause.

Why would you resist the very thing that can make your dreams come true? Why wouldn’t you want to stay on the phone as much as possible making it happen?

Allen Says calls this "contraction". We like talking about building a business because it makes us feel expansive so its easy to do, so we chase that feeling...but actually performing certain tasks within it closes us up and makes us feel contracted, even though those things are the solution to expansion.

To succeed we must associate an expansive feeling to the things that really matter in building our business.

Here is the diagnosis:

You have developed a chronic condition; you have “resistance to building your business”!

You may be rebelling against feeling like you "have" to do certain things...

Fighting a constant resistance to building your business is a house that is divided against itself; a house that will only wobbly stand.

So what will make you feel better about working on your dreams...?

Lets talk about it.

What will make you feel good about prospecting?

I know some answers, in fact the main one is what warrior Ben said, because you dont feel good at it... you need to get a bigger arsenal of things to say on the phone so you dont freeze up , or have to "fear" freezing up.

Thats one...

What do you feel you are lacking that makes you contract thinking of prospecting?

Lets create some solutions.

Whats the hard part for you?

What objections are the ones that are eating your lunch and making you feel afraid to face the phone.

I will show you how to handle them. Please dont issue stupid challenges. lol serious questions only.
#building #business #resisting
  • Profile picture of the author iamchrisgreen
    I have been chickening out of cold calling for a while and I know I need to start up again...

    For me, the big challenge is getting a GOOD LIST to call from.

    What advice do you have for this mate??
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    • Profile picture of the author Grahamc
      Thanks for the question John,

      My big challenge comes from knowing how I feel when people cold-call me. I guess it's because the vast majority are discourteous and just assume that I want to break off whatever I'm doing and give them some time. I often feel intruded upon by cold-callers and I am sure I'm not the only one.
      Although I've had many years experience (I ran a company that depended on local advertising sales for its revenue), it was the one element that caused me the biggest distress; even though I am acutely aware of the importance of courtesy and permission.

      I am now embarking on another venture where cold-calling will be central to my prospecting. So my question is: how can I convey my good intentions to my potential clients when they are almost preprogrammed to resist the common, discourteous, almost robotic, cold-caller? I feel good about the offerings I have for my clients, I can work with them to improve their business, but I want to feel better about disturbing them with my call out of the blue.

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      • Profile picture of the author St Croix
        Yep this is a real mind game thing.

        I "cold" called a doctor today - (get it?) and normally as the customer I would be quick to be judgemental or slightly irked if the person on the other end was short or if they had no appointments left.

        But in the role of salesman, there's this real stumbling block. The people on the other end pick up on it real quick, with longer silences and the general feeling you could cut the tension with a knife as you deliver your pitch.

        I've been in sales for nearly 10 years, cold calling every day and have never lost that apprehension or 'pang' you feel when the person on the other end answers.

        It's kinda like - Deep breath, here's the curtain going up! Break a leg!

        Would love to know how to embrace it and heaven forbid, enjoy it!!!

        Back in the game!

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  • Profile picture of the author JToneyUK
    Graham I know exactly what you mean, and I think it is a very British ignorance with regards to cold calling. I know for example, that when I pick up the phone and there is more than a second delay til the person on the other end starts to speak, it is some sales call and I just hang up. If I was wrong and it was a family member or whatever I know they'll call back.

    But this is being cold called at home, so obviously businesses will be ready and willing to answer the phones. However, the big challenge I feel is reaching the business owner.

    I am in desperate need of income, and want to offer local businesses either a website if they don't already have one, or mobile websites to those that already have a site and are advertising in print. I've drummed up a spreadsheet of prospective clients and have around 50 businesses to call up. I am hoping to start this afternoon, but I'm very nervous about cold calling.

    I just need to take action, and I'm hoping my desperate need for some money will be the motivation to kick things off!

    My big issue is the fact that I'd be telling the clients that I am just starting up in this business. Would this put people off that I don't have any experience? Offering very small fee's initially is a tactic to get people to buy into my services, but again, I don't wanna give the impression I do poor quality work because thats what the costs reflect.

    Meh, I need to just grow a pair and get on the phone don't I? I've nothing to lose!
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    • Profile picture of the author iamchrisgreen
      Originally Posted by JToneyUK View Post

      My big issue is the fact that I'd be telling the clients that I am just starting up in this business. Would this put people off that I don't have any experience? Offering very small fee's initially is a tactic to get people to buy into my services, but again, I don't wanna give the impression I do poor quality work because thats what the costs reflect.

      Meh, I need to just grow a pair and get on the phone don't I? I've nothing to lose!
      Don't worry about what they will think about just do the calls mate.

      It's the best way to get the muscles built fast.

      Tell us how you get on!!!
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    • Profile picture of the author Grahamc
      Originally Posted by JToneyUK View Post

      My big issue is the fact that I'd be telling the clients that I am just starting up in this business. Would this put people off that I don't have any experience?
      Being new can be an advantage. Outside of my business world I am a running coach. I've been running years but am new to coaching. However, because my knowledge and tuition is fresh I feel I have more to offer than some of the more established coaches who are training using older, often superseded, methods.
      Nothing moves much faster than technology, and if you are new to it then your knowledge should be up-to-date. Allow this to come across in your marketing calls/visits and your freshness becomes a very real sales advantage.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Yeah! These are the types of questions Im talking about... Most of what Im seeing here is negative "Anchors"...

    The greatest % of this isnt even what you say, its about getting yourself to initiate PERIOD and there are various reasons including past experience with call sessions that traumatized you. lol

    Many people are resisting because of inward beliefs that have been engrained in them about telemarketers, or based on their own experience with being interrupted by one... These are all about "beliefs", beliefs that haunt your session, and overshadow it... Some of the beliefs are legit and some are made up in the mind, but NONE of them cause you to get sales or empower you. I still think I know the main answer but no one has addressed it yet.

    I also think alot of times its because we feel unprepared... We arent sure what we will say if a customer says "________" and so we avoid our fear of the unknown. We dont want to freeze up and start being tongue tied... sometimes we are afraid we will run into people who are smarter than us...

    Alot of times its because we feel we are wasting our time and no one is going to say yes anyway, other times its because its overwhelming to think "First I gotta call them, then I gotta go see them, then I gotta make a website and deal with them for the rest of my life..." and we avoid all the responsibility that might follow even if we DID get someone interested. We take our eyes off of our PLAN...Remember when you wrote that out and it looked so good and seemed so achievable?

    It still is if you implement, its just initiating thats the problem and staying consistent.

    Writing our goals is empowering and makes us feel expanded, looking at the possibilities for ourselves, and we chase that expanded feeling even further in conversations with other marketers...but then when you think about sitting down implementing, the expanded feeling contracts...we want to continue that through your call session.

    Mostly the issues what is said above about feeling like a nuisance to the people you call. Im going to address that... believe it or not you can over come all of these things and empower yourself and get through your call session without all of this inward struggle.

    I have something to do this morning that cant wait, however I am going to spend my afternoon on this thread and we are going to talk about the stuff that really matters.

    Cant wait to get back here. This is a thread worth spending time with. This is where its really at, however, I dont mind answering more specific questions either...such as rebuttals...

    Be back in a couple of hours guys!

    Dont hesitate to post more questions, we can catch them all up and make sure no one is missed.

    Suffice it to say for now that I have had to spend at least 1000 days, eight hour ones, having to ration my energy on the phone, and rationalize my way past all of these things to other side... In the call center world you either have to get past these things, or you cant stay, because the machine is gonna run all day and all week and it stops for no one...

    So I have learned to overcome alot of these things that seem insurmountable... I have learned to acclimate myself to the things that keep most people off the phone and I believe I can help you.

    The good part is that the more you can get past this stuff the easier it becomes and the more rewarding your call sessions are as you smooth out the whole experience and get better at it.

    Believe it or not 20% of getting better is just "feeling better" while you are doing it. 20% is about your tone and the way you sound... Relaxed? Tense? Anxious? authoritive? You change that by changing your beliefs. another 20% is about your consistency of dialing and getting through your pitch. some people dial 100 numbers, talk to 20 business owners and only get down to asking for the close one or two times...they are dialing and thats good, but they arent getting through their pitch...

    The rest is about pitch, rebuttals, and ... the customers past experience with your type of salesman...

    All of these things are solvable.

    Will return.
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  • Profile picture of the author mjbmedia
    Ladies and Gentlemen, if you dont contact these businesses and show them what you can do for them, youre doing them a massive dissservice.
    By phoning them you are NOT being a pain in the butt but a potential highly effective solution to their current issues . Now they may not see it that way depending on what theyre in the middle of when you call but communicate well with them and they will think it over and see the light. (if they dont then more fool them , one of their competitors wil lsee and run with it) .

    So dont ring them thinking your being a nuisance, youre not youre a major league solution to a migraine inducing business headache (how the heck do I fathom out what to do with all this new fangled internet/ mobile goobledygook )
    ring ring Hello my name is and I run a local marketing .................

    thanks heavens you rang

    You owe it to them to make contact, to make them aware of how much potential profits theyre leaving on the table for their competitors to enjoy, you owe it to them to charge a high enough premium to ensure you will still be here in 12 months time and that you can always deliver high quality returns on the work you do , these businesses dont want you sitting there wondering where the next gas meter top up money is coming from, they want you working on growing their business so they understand theyve gotta pay for that.

    Youll be doing them a major dis-service if you dont charge them a high enough premium so not only can you over deliver but also develop your own knowledge and skills , develop your own business to still be over delivering 1-5 years down the line bringing along all the new still to be discovered marketing methods with you for them to benefit from


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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    I think alot of rejection is because people arent prepared to rebuttal... and they take secretaries personally.

    Here's the thing you have to know about secretaries and telemarketers.

    Its their J-O-B to keep salespeople out.

    Theres two kinds of cold callers, the ones who let that effect them and the ones who dont.

    Now I know you feel like a mere telemarketer when you cold call... But,

    Do you know that million dollar stock brokers started out as mere telemarketers? Think Gordon Ghekko... My friend got a Job working for an investment banking firm and they gave him a $75k salary his first year based only on his telemarketing experience.

    He had an excellent cold calling track record. He read me the letter they sent him when they hired him "After looking at your Telemarketing record we would be HONORED to have a person of Your caliber working with us" and they gave him a cubicle just like a telemarketer, a 75k salary.

    Wow, talk about cushy, I went to his office one day and he said "look what they gave me" - A stack of 500 millionaires numbers...and his job was to COLD CALL THEM and pitch them investments on the Phone.

    He now makes over 300k per year and has a bunch of clients.

    Now do you know that secretaries treat him the same way they treat everyone else, and he drives a mercedes and wears Christian Dior Suits?

    His first day he went out and bought 3 JC penny suits because he had none. i was there... (also a sack lunch because he hadnt got paid yet and spent all his money trying get clothes for the job, barely had gas to get to work).

    There are millionaire stockbrokers in his office, and guess what?

    Secretaries treat them the same way.

    Do they care?

    No, they just want to find a client. They keep dialing hardcore, and they arent talking to small biz owners about a website, they are asking millionaires to invest in portfolios.

    IT DOESNT MATTER WHO YOU ARE secretaries are going to treat you the same, even if you make 50 times as much money as them and have 50 times more class... Dont take it personal its their job.

    Why is it important not to take it personal?

    Because its important to treat even your 100th call like your first, and if you let secs get to you, you are going to be sounding rejected.

    YOU THINK- That just because you are tired of hearing your own voice that everyone else is too and you start projecting that... but here is the truth:

    "Its the first time that prospect has ever heard you, even if its your 200th call, and he deserves your very best enthusiasm".

    Dont project onto the next call whatever happened on the call before.

    I dont care if you are a $300k life insurance agent with a 2 million dollar home, a trophy wife and a swimming pool the size of texas...

    Secretaries are going to treat you the same.

    Does that mean you lack class for what you are doing?


    Some of the classiest people I know got that way from cold calling, and they dont think they are low, they think everyone else is weak! lol

    You have to understand that the half million dollar sellers kept going while the guys who wanted everyone to like them quit or they didnt rebuttal because they didnt want to sound assertive.

    It doesnt matter who you are.

    Im saying this so you understand that telemarketing doesnt lack class...but the hardcore Gorden Ghekko's of this world got there by keeping their eyes on the prize... Not one person in my friend Roberts office thinks of themselves as less than a secretary.

    Its her job to screen you, just like its your job to cold call.

    Everyone is just doing their job.

    Stockbrokers get rejected too.

    So theres one contribution, I will have many more as we go along.

    Also, I ask "Do you feel a sense of expansion when you picture yourself with all that success"?

    Somehow you have to link the two together because they go hand in hand; prospecting and being a million dollar seller.

    Now you dont have to be a seller at all - UNLESS YOU WANT TO MAKE MORE MONEY THAN A DOCTOR.

    Here is the key:

    Thinking about the prize gives you a sense of expansion while cold calling makes you feel contraction...

    The key is "Keeping your eyes on the prize while you cold call"! Feeling like you are going somehwere, and projecting that to your prospects. They want to jump onboard with energy that is going somehwere.

    You have to keep your eyes on your dream and know that every call brings you closer to the reality, and not focus on the bs that some $24,000 per year secretary thinks of you. The reason shes not you is because she isnt assertive enough.

    Now dont resent her, love her...because one day you might have your own screener...but dont "become her", and dont let her affect your self esteem. You are a Gordon Ghekko in the making!

    Only hopefully you wont be doing any insider trading. lol
    This was probably my personal best post of the year this one! It has more value than any other post Ive made that I can think of.

    @ Chris re: Lists.

    Unless you get Rus Hayes g scraper, and you do SEo, then most lists out there are going to be similar. They vary in quality a little maybe 20-30% - But most are the same, how many ways can you list a business owner, he's on one list, and hes on another...

    There is such a thing as a BAD list here and there, but most are the same. The important thing is the way you put them together and the criteria you select for yourselves.

    The YELLOW PAGES are good. If all the other lists you try suck, then you cant go wrong with YP... The money is in your head. Thats where its at.

    Im a fan of good lists, but you never know if you have one till you have made a couple hundred calls... and even then, if you are a newby, you dont know enough to tell a good one from a bad one...Many newbies will even call a good one bad.

    The sale is made in the mind of the salesman. That doesnt mean you are gonna pull the jedi mind trick on every person you talk to and get a sale- It just means you are going to "get" one.Dialing or rebutting doesnt work on everyone, not even MOST people...but its the way to get to the ones it works on.

    Wow this feels good, now Im talking like my old GM self again! lol

    Got my second wind this week I think.

    No, its just that , alot of times I talk about what I think a new cold caller can comprehend or assimilate, but now Im bypassing that and just telling you like it is without the kid gloves and the sugar on top.

    Allen Says is the one who got me back to the core with Money and Power...its a free report in the war room by Bryan Kumar. An interview with the owner of WF.

    Thats what gave me the second wind actually.

    Ps. Chris, wasnt calling you a newby BTW... lol that was a side note about the noobers, but true.
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    • Profile picture of the author mjbmedia
      Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

      . and they take secretaries personally.
      hmm Ive taken a few secretaries personally in my time


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      • Profile picture of the author John Durham
        Originally Posted by mjbmedia View Post

        hmm Ive taken a few secretaries personally in my time
        ...lol, you arent the only one who has made that mistake.
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      • Listen to john's experience and take it as true.

        the right mindset is right here.

        Some of the classiest people I know got that way from cold calling, and they dont think they are low, they think everyone else is weak! lol

        If I can't get on the phone and talk about myself, what I can do to help, and can't handle negatives .... then I am weak.

        Classy ? Yes, this work makes you money And build's character.

        good work john.
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  • Profile picture of the author Eddie Spangler
    Hey John Thanks for all your posts...Ive probably read like 80 percent of the ones youve made in the last month.

    They really help me from a psychological point of view.
    Keep up the great work!
    Promise Big.
    Deliver Bigger.
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  • Profile picture of the author godinu
    The one interesting thing about many of us who think we don't like cold calling for our own businesses is that, if we had a job where we were the telemarketers for an hourly wage, we would do it, even if it's not our favorite thing. Sometimes it's easier to do what we may think of as menial work while working for others than to do the same for our own ventures, even though the potential to earn is far greater when we keep all the earnings. Quirky.
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    • Profile picture of the author David Miller
      Originally Posted by godinu View Post

      The one interesting thing about many of us who think we don't like cold calling for our own businesses is that, if we had a job where we were the telemarketers for an hourly wage, we would do it, even if it's not our favorite thing. Sometimes it's easier to do what we may think of as menial work while working for others than to do the same for our own ventures, even though the potential to earn is far greater when we keep all the earnings. Quirky.
      Perhaps it has to do with some self-doubt about the viability of our own product.
      The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything.
      -- FRANK SINATRA, quoted in The Way You Wear Your Hat
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    You guys are onto some heavy stuff right now, and yes that was where I was going next. Funny how synchronicity works... But it will have to wait. Mucho worko to do Oh.
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  • Profile picture of the author mjbmedia
    Self belief.

    If you truly believe that by talking with the business owner you can/ will add massive value to them rather than merely wasting their time trying desperately to sell to them then you're going to call them in a completely different way.

    If you dont believe in yourself, what you know, what value you can deliver then youre ringing them with doubt already on the tip of your tongue.

    Now the more times you deliver, the less this doubt is around as youve got personal proof and professional proof that you do deliver, if you're just starting as so havent had the opportunity to deliver yet Id suggest actually delivering what you offer first off for yourself (eg do your own mobile site before selling one to another business, get a good Google Places listing , etc) so at least you can talk to the business owner knowing you have delivered .

    Of course if you outsource this is fine , you still deliver via someone else.


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