Will a script like this work?

by 18 replies
23
Me: Hey how are you doing this Monday?

Business Owner: Not too bad for a Monday.

Me: Yeah Monday's are always a little rough.

By the way I'm Mike from SEO.com and I've noticed that you've been advertising in the yellow pages, and in the newspaper. But I can't find your company on the first page of google to learn more about what you do. I can find X company, Y company, z company, but I can't find you anywhere on the first page of google.

Do you know why I can't find your site?

Business Owner: I'm not sure

Me: Do you think that being on the first page of google will help your business?

Business Owner: Yes

Me: Well I'm quite certain that all those X companies that are on the first page are getting a ton of business and money from all the people that look for an X everyday.



********This is all I have. Does this script have promise or should I trash it?
#offline marketing #script #work
  • wheres the script?
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  • Hmmm... I'm not too keen about your opener. In my experience, not many people, especially businessmen, like beating around the bush. So if you want to keep your prospect's attention it would be better if you stated your purpose for the call to let them feel that you are not wasting their time.
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  • Same thoughts as Spangler. This is not a script, I don't know what it is to be honest it looks like this took you 2 minutes to throw together.

    When I write my own scripts I can waste hours and hours putting them together. They are divided into seperate parts each serves a different function. Honestly just seeing how much time you put into this, I'm not about to waste 30 mins of my own time to make it any better.

    I suggest you first download some scripts that people are actually getting a response with, then rewrite them to make one of your own. Then rewrite it again. Then test it, then rewrite it, then test it again, then grab an NLP book and rewrite it. Then test it. Then grab some more scripts and do some more editing.

    THEN post it here. I mean we have some incredibly skilled people on this forum when it comes to scripts do you really want to waste their time with a script like this? If you want to get the big names to respond you really need to show some more effort and creativity imo.

    Gluck!

    -Red
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    • I don't think I want to waste hours and hours writing a script. I would rather test ideas while calling.
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  • Your script needs to catch theyr attention, make them excited, make them want to meet you. This will put them in a "ok whatever, sure.. ill listen to you, but i don;t got much time now." mood.
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    • I have to agree with a couple of things in this thread.

      1. I agree with Ken Michaels (no shock there I guess) that scripts must be tested and perfected in the process of making hundreds and hundreds of calls. That it's the basis of your business and must be treated as such.

      2. I also agree with s62731 (catchy name) in that it makes me angry as well that you expect so much to happen with so little action on your part.

      As for me personally, yes, I think your "script" if you can call it that is pathetic. But something in my gut tells me that you, like many others, will either defend your reasons for using it when you claim you want help or your posted just enough to get others to write a script for you.
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  • I'm no script expert, but you asked for help, and I'll put in my two cents. I won't berate you because that's not the purpose of this forum. The purpose is for us all to learn and grow together.

    See my comments in above...
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  • It's okay if the OP does not want to write a script - let alone, spend many hours developing it. But the real question here is whether or not the OP understands and appreciates the value that a good, well-written and well-tested script can have.

    That being said, perhaps the OP should consider outsourcing this.
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  • Thanks to the guys who offered advice!

    I do not understand why I'm being accused of wanting someone to write me a script or that I'm not willing to put in work. I don't operate like that! I also do not understand the presumptuous nature of so many posters --- "You sound like the type that will get defensive if someone criticizes your script." Criticize away! I will take the valuable information you share and use it, while discarding the typical petty Internet drama.
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    • Don't get discouraged by the negativity here. There will always be negativity wherever sales people are. Why? They are some of the most negative creatures on the planet, but I guess that's what makes them so good at what they do... :confused:

      At any rate, you will see a lot of "you ask for help and get defensive", etc. I see that in almost every thread here. People ask for help, other members chow down on them like a piece of lunch then say the other person is getting defensive. My question would be why does advice always have to be so "harsh?" You don't have to beat a person down for stepping out to ask a question. Anyway, I could rant about this all day. I hope you find what you're looking for...
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    • There gets to be alot of post like these where someone throws together a script without any thought in it whatsoever, and wants the rest to critique. Usually with that critique they want the script written completely for them, and they get mad that everyone does not jump to do it for free.

      I recently did an entire script for a warrior that asked me to help them out. Then after spending hours on the script to make it good, they used it for 15 calls and then emailed me to say what a waste of time it was to use it. I will not waste time like that again.

      Your post just seemed identical to those others. Sorry if it is not.

      This was the line that made everyone think that you are trying to get others to waste their time on your script.

      If you do not want to waste your time, why should the rest of us? We have businesses to run, and there is not one reason that we should all jump and write a real script for you. I'm not even sure why you would have spent the time to post the script at all.
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  • I agree with Matt121 - do not beat around the bush...get right to it and state your purpose.

    here's a suggestion:

    Me: Good Morning, this is (your name) from (your company). I’m sure you’re busy but I wanted to talk to you about getting your business on the front Google so you can get the attention of people looking for (product/service) right here in (your town). Do you think you could give me just about two minutes to give you some real basic info with no strings attached?

    Business Owner: Sure.

    Me: Like I said, I’m (your name again) and I help local businesses in (your town) get found by consumers who are in need (product/service) and are ready to spend money.

    These days most shoppers don’t use the newspaper or yellow pages to find the local companies that provide the products and services that they need. Instead they go right to the internet. That’s because they’re usually in a hurry and want to make a purchase right away.

    So not only do you have to be only but it’s crucial that you’re right on the front page of Google because they’re not going to spend all day searching for you. That’s where I come in. I’d like to talk to you about positioning your business so that local consumers can easily find you on the front page of Google whenever they’re looking for (product/service). Do you have some time this week that I can come by and show you how I can help your business.

    Business Owner: Yes/No



    Joanne
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  • I would nix the "Im sure you're busy..." part...if you continue on, you are implying that you could care less how busy they are...


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  • good point econners
  • I would nix the script...learn Internet Marketing Strategies and SEO. Treat your own marketing company like first client. Position your business on Google and have new clients find you. You won't need a script and you will close more sales...since you will look like the expert because your page is ranked high. IMO....
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