Here's my print ad- please critique.

I'm no design expert so i can give you only first impressions that caught my eye.... I think your font in your header in to masculine ( remember brides are feminine so a softer overall feeling with pastell colours is what I'd go for.

I agree with Rodney.

You need to make it much more elegant and feminine.

There may be a lot of women Steelers fans who don't want any sissy fonts though!


I think it looks good.

I'm never a fan of something that doesn't have a phone number on it... but... Ill ignore it lol.

I don't think there is a big issue with the colors. You might have some husbands to be that won't be alarmed and immediately throw the thing out, whereas if you had that stuff in pink and purple with fairy dust, they'd probably want nothing of the sort entering their home!

Put a circle around the free report line... itll help, trust me.

Your biggest issue is the website you're sending them to. You have an opt in form that is off to the right and isn't responsive on all browsers and resolutions. That's the #1 thing to fix in my opinion.

This is what I see - Pittsburgh wedding - The Steel City Bride | Awesome Screenshot

I think the print ad, itself, is good. Good enough at least. I think the website itself is not so great, and definitely the area you should focus on a bit more!

It has all the right elements. However, I'd make the "Bride" in the logo bigger...I didn't understand what it was for at the start and overlooked the word for a second. All I saw was "Steel City"! (Huh?) There's a disconnect all along the top between the Steel City font, the Bride font, and the wedding party photo to the right.

I'd make that wedding pic bigger and the directory image smaller--maybe swap 'em--since the directory pictures aren't big enough to see much of anything in anyway.

Totally agree with Nameless on the circle around the Free Report...even though it's red, it didn't draw my eye as standout material I should take action on.

Ok I hope you are ready for some TRUTH, because i am going to be brutally honest with you for your own good...

Ok First of all it doesn't tell me what it is you are offering?

Its Vague, not specific, not measurable, not tangible...
Its More About you the Magazine then me the Consumer... Switch roles when writing AD Copy it helps...

Where is the Phone Number or Call to Action... Something like a Go Here or Click Here...
Picture Put a Before/ After to show what will happen if you dont read the Ebook
What is Avoid Wedding Disasters... Does that mean not having a wedding, having a wedding in a bad location, people not showing up, the groom disappearing, the bride being attacked... What does that mean, specifically...

Ok I like the colors because its Pittsburgh...
PM me if you are interested, ill give you some headlines that you can test for yourself and see, feel, and hear the difference...

Why don 't you put a few testimonials in the space where the image on the left is? An image of the website is not really a selling/grabbing feature. Just my € 0.02.

still looks masculine to me. why not try using a fancy font and feminine colors (since you're ditching the steelers idea)?

but much better with the call to action and clarity.

Circle that Free Report!!

Pull no punches--get in your reader's face!

I think the graphic is great.

A woman's opinion.


I agree with many of the comments and suggestions made already.


The Print ad:


The Steel City font should be reduced a few points and the Bride font should be increased a few points.


Instead of the bridal party photo you may want to have one of the talented graphic artist here on the forum do a caricature of a bridal party wearing the Steeler colors( Bridesmaids in yellow dresses with black belts, Groom & Groomsmen in black tuxedos with yellow cumberbunds, the bride in white accented with black belt and black-eyed susans for the bouquet). Of course instead of wearing a veil the bride could have on a helmet with a Steel City logo instead of a Steelers logo;-D. You get the idea.


As Iamnameless suggested, circle the Free Report in red, this will add attention to the ad.


Your website need lots of work. It's not rendering properly in my browser( Firefox) and it needs more pizzaz. A few more light touches of Steeler, I mean Steel City pride.


I am a woman and although I like somethings feminine, I can relate to where you are going with your theme and my curiosity would make me look because it's different. Not all women want everything “pink and purple with fairy dust “ as Iamnameless so aptly described.


You're on the right track, your ad and website just need a little more tweeking.


I don't like your second print ad at all, it looks to harsh and cheap. Even if I weren't going to spend lots of money on my wedding I still would look at anything that feels super cheap and tasteless.

You can soften the ad up by changing the content font(not the header fort) and changing the wedding party photo to a graphic. Please don't add pink to your ad. Pink it too cliche. Be bold and be different, keep the Steelers colors. I am sure there are thousands of brides to be in the Pittsburg area who will appreciate it, and be happy not to be looking at more pink.

The idea from Paul McQuillan about "Top 10 Tips to a Stress-Free Wedding" is excellent, combined with the Steelers colors, and softening up the ad a bit should get you and excellent response. Just make sure the content on the website is top notch and you should have a unique winner for a long time.

I feel like it's a little to harsh or masculine...at least the font. There is not enough feminine stuff e.g. flowers, a diamond ring, a gown...also your color scheme suggests more Pittsburgh Steelers and less a wedding. Needs a woman's touch!

hmmm , how about changing , online to authority, or online authority?

and im guessing the domain Pittsburghcitybride or Pittsburghbride, or Pittsburghweddings
are taken ?

You and I and just about everyone reading this thread knows what LOCAL VENDOR means
i would be willing to bet, a lot of your readers will not.

"avoid disasters" was way better then just free report... " free report" has become over used
and you want to stand out, not have the readers gloss over it because its too familiar to them.
plus... free report for what? no hook.

wedding planning ideas, needs a tweek... maybe something like "secret", "premier", "killer"

video interviews... you might want to change to exclusive video interviews.

Best wedding locations might also need a tweak, maybe something like, "10 best",
"100 best". , "top 10 voted best", ect

of course, this is just my opinion, and nothing else... testing, is the only real way to find
out for sure.

I like the work you have done. Really showing off your photoshop skills.

While I am no Ad guru or anything. I might suggest split testing next month with a different Call to Action. Instead of 10 tips for your Wedding, try a coupon for a service (photographer, DJ). It may lead the reader to take action.

I think your first one is still the best... add the circle and I think you'd be better off. I wouldn't worry too much about a masculine font, but as with anything, testing is the key.

I don't like the colors for bridal. I understand it is for Pittsburg and those colros go with the city. But yellow, black, and grey don't scream bride to me.

The 3rd version might be usable if you switch up the color and text a bit.
For colors look at bride magazines like Ewen suggested.
The free report cover needs to be redone as well along the same lines.

As for wording here are some ways i might change it up
"Pittsburg's Original Digital Wedding Magazine"
"Latest Wedding Trends & Ideas"
[Video Interviews? Of who? why should they care? I don't know so I can't reword it]
[newlywed tips: I'd lose this. Homemoon maybe]
"Location is Everything: Reviews, Suggestions, and more"
"Local Wedding Businesses & Specialists Directory"
Call it a "Guide" and not a report.

I am not sure how your site works but if it is more like a true magazine with a "monthly issue" format why not use the title of some of your current articles in the add just like a true magazine cover word.

Here are some Article ideas that you can outscource for free or maybe even get them to pay you for "printing" them. I was having one of those free flowing idea moments so put some titles and ideas down.

"Stay-tination Weddings: Have your Destination Wedding Locally" - The Local Tourism board will write this for you.

"Fall Fabulous: The Sun Won't Set On These Dresses" - A bridial Store would love to showcase their fall designs in this article (get them to write it and pay you)

"Fall into Football: How One Bride Made Her Special Day into His Special Day" - Contact the Steelers and they will be sure to put you in touch with a bride who wanted a Steeler's themed wedding there. Interview her and post the video or use that to write the article

"2013 Is Your Lucky Number" - Interview some local wedding event locations on how they are either booked solid or underbooked based on 13 supersition. Brides love feeling special and if they still have great dates open you can frame the article around the idea that people fear 2013 but it's allowing the "smart & modern" bride to get the wedding of her dreams with way less competition. You can get these companies you interviewed to buy advertising to place in the article.

"Better the Second Time" - Interview locals who had a second(or 3rd) wedding or vow renewal and how great it was. Most of the article will be the paragraph or two they each write with you adding some editorial. This kind of article will make you stand out from most bridial stuff that only focuses on first timers. Also even first timers will love reading about these dream weddings. Anytime a business is mentioned by name try to sell them an ad to go on the same or next page.

"White Isn't Just for Dresses: How to plan the perfect winter wedding" Tourism board again. Also indoor locations that have trouble filling in Jan and Feb will be happy top provide content.

"Party Like it's 2014: Wedding Reception + New Years Eve = The Party of a Lifetime" - Co-workers son did this and it was an amazing idea. I am sure a few reception halls would love to book out Dec 31, 2013 over a year in advance and would write some content for you. Sell ads in and around this article to bars or similar. A party lover will always want to party. great article to open up your advertising outside of the normal wedding ads you see everywhere.

I'm no expert in print copy so I'll look at it from a prospects point of view.

If I saw that ad, I'd be more interested in the free 'wedding disasters' report than anything else.

Why not make that the real focus of the ad?

I also agree with the others about the font up top. I see where you're going with the Steelers thing though. It really depends on the demo of the paper.

Hi Mike,

A couple of thoughts from me in UK:

* Out of all the designs, I much prefer the last one, maybe instead of the gray to dark gray gradient, I would perhaps use a free brushed metal texture (I don't know about how that works with the team the SteelCity logo emulates) I know plenty of women that don't / didn't subscribe to the white / pastel wedding, so I wouldn't let that put you off.

* I think the idea about having a coupon is a great idea, and if you combine it with split testing, it could really pay off. Myself, I edit pre-shot wedding footage / montage photos taken by everyone on the day so I know how different weddings can be.

* On the 3rd design, I think you could make the wedding picture a lot bigger, or even mask the wedding picture with the logo text, it's different, and again, I don't know how that fits in with the team, but it could work.

* I applaud your bravery. Many times I've had designs I wanted to put on here for scrutiny, and not done it, so bravo!!

Good luck with the campaign,

Andy.

Ps. Do you have a referral scheme for the vendors you promote? Just an idea .

Here is the reality Mike as you may already know but cant come out and say it.This magazine ad will not get you very many looks to your website, heck you probably will get more people to look at it from this thread than from the ad. The only chance you have of making it work is hoping to catch the small number of soon to be brides as they are flipping through this rag and making them stop in their tracks.

People are just not used to taking action from these type of ragazines. They thumb through them looking at the pictures once , maybe twice through as they are sitting and waiting for their appointments at the doctors office or passing time at lunch.
Something has to REALLY be appealing for them to take some kind of action NOW, they will not remember this one tiny ad in a mag filled with ads and pictures.

Use some salacious headlines like Aaron mentioned, your current bullets are totally uninspiring. Avoid disasters is much more appealing than stress free wedding in the context of raising curiosity. What about the QR code, you're gonna get a light response anyway might as well give them every chance possible to get the guide. Scan the code and get access to this guide IMMEDIATELY.

Im not saying that all these tips about exact colors , fonts and manly vs feminine is wrong im just saying that they are not nearly as important as people are making them seem.

By the way 10 is not a number the Brain Processes Well... The Psychology behind it needs to be 5+- 2 so it could be 7 tips for a stress free wedding... Can you make the Stress more specific... What kind of stress paint the picture...

I have to agree with most users here. Both ads appear very masculine, although I do like the second ad better as it conveys a sense of ps'ed-ness.... My honest first impression when I saw your top ad was, "Why is there the word bride next to steel city, what the heck is going on?"

It did make me read more... Come to think of it, thats a good thing..!

Okay, never mind, very nice. =)

[QUOTE=Aaron Doud;6764383]I am not sure how your site works [QUOTE]


I was reading this thread again and soemthing stood out about what I wrote. I literally didn't visit your site. Even while talking about it and your ad. I wasn't drawn in.


You need people to do 3 things.
1. See your ad. You have to make it draw attention while they are flipping thru the magazine.


2. Take action. What action? Visit your website.


3. Once at the website be drawn in enough to stick around and visit again.


Eddie sums it up well. You need to consider when this ad will be seen and approach it that way. Based on this line of thinking here is how I would approach the 3 points above.


1. The ad needs to be something that really stands out and soemthing that will make a bride pause. You are targeting brides so you only really want them. So I would make the ad a picture of a wedding dress or similar.

2. You want them to visit your website right then. They likely will be reading this free magazine while sitting and waiting. The magazine is boring. Your site could be way more exciting. Play that up.

"Hey you. Yeah you.
You look bored. I guess that explains why this magazine was free, doesn't it?
See this Bride? Doesn't she look happy? Know why?
She's smiling because
thesteelcitybride.com
Gave her fabulous wedding ideas.
So why don't you follow her lead?
Pull out your phone
Head over to
thesteelcitybride.com
and pass the time in a more enjoyable way."

Basically make soemthing like that to draw them in and take action now. I'd put the bride picture on one side and the text in a column to the right. Use a read arrow like your get free report to point her out from the line about her smiling.

3. Finally make the content great so every bride that reads the site continues to come back.

Just sharing more ideas here. Hope they help.

How about a:

"Warning: Consumer Awareness Guide - How Brides Get Ripped Off When Planning Their Wedding"

As an aside - I've hired Mr. Subtle in the past and he's a true stand-up professional. You won't go wrong paying attention to him....

Steel city should bold and please change the color (any dark)

512 really like the new design.

This may be the best advice you received yet - just my 3 cents.

Ok. Now I see what you're saying. I think I can create a main column or at least a larger top "Feature Story" column with the other smaller ones below it. I'll have to check the Wordpress Theme I'm using to do that. I do know I can break up the home page with a couple of double column sized posts. That should keep them from being all the same weight. My plan was to make it look like an actual magazine and not a normal blog that you usually see.

As for the free guide, I'll actually be changing that in a few days to make it more enticing. I have a new guide that I'm creating and will re-design the opt-in area and will change the "submit" on the button to something else. Thanks for the suggestions.

since its in a Free Publication i would think you would try to differentiate yourself

if your trying to make sales and not just brand yourself then your going to need to adress your market directly, stimulate their desire about the subject and ask them to take action on what ever it is that you would like them to do

hop this helps

I would remove the #1 Pittsburgh Wedding Magazine and change the font of the website address to the one in the photo, and also to all lowercase. I think it will have a better flow to it.