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Funny Telemarketing "Tactics"

by Marvin Johnston
18 replies
Some stories are just too funny (I have a perverted sense of humor.) On a call a couple of months ago, the telemarketer got through and I asked them to remove me from their list. They said NO and hung up .

One more. I was taking a workshop on telemarketing for my business many many moons ago. The person presenting the workshop used to run a call center and always dressed up nicely (apparently unlike some of the people doing the calling.).

One day he came into work, and found the place being raided by the postal authorities. One of the officers told him he looked like he didn't belong there and should get out of the place. And as he was leaving, a number of the telemarketers were calling out his name ... hey Jack, JACK, come back .

Anyone else out there with funny telemarketing stories?

Marvin
#funny #tactics #telemarketing
  • Profile picture of the author cash89
    Originally Posted by Marvin Johnston View Post

    Any comments about how telemarketers should police their own profession? And of course, are there any other funny telemarketing stories?
    Here we go,

    Whenever you get one of these pesky hell-emarketers (just made that up, use it & i will sue you) act interested but tell them your kid is sick and you have to call them back.

    Post their number here on the forum for all of us to call and hound the guy so he sees how it feels to have an annoying mf'er on the line. This number can also be used all hours of the day to practice our calls, the guy will be angry due to all the calls he receives so it will be good practice for dealing with rude prospect.

    It's a win-win, hopefully he learns his lesson and becomes a better telemarketer and we get to practice our calls and blow off some steam.

    PS. Do not post numbers of your ex lovers, rude telemarketers only. We don't need to get involved in your personal drama.
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    • Profile picture of the author Marvin Johnston
      Originally Posted by cash89 View Post

      Here we go,

      Whenever you get one of these pesky hell-emarketers (just made that up, use it & i will sue you) act interested but tell them your kid is sick and you have to call them back.

      Post their number here on the forum for all of us to call and hound the guy so he sees how it feels to have an annoying mf'er on the line. This number can also be used all hours of the day to practice our calls, the guy will be angry due to all the calls he receives so it will be good practice for dealing with rude prospect.

      It's a win-win, hopefully he learns his lesson and becomes a better telemarketer and we get to practice our calls and blow off some steam.

      PS. Do not post numbers of your ex lovers, rude telemarketers only. We don't need to get involved in your personal drama.
      I went back and reread what I posted. It looked too much like a rant which was not the intention ... at least on this thread . So it was edited to remove the "rant" including part of your quote. So sorry about that one!

      In spite of my feelings, I do run across telemarketers that come across as professionals. And those people I will listen to since unlikely as it seems, I might actually learn something about telemarketing done right .

      Regardless, I still get a chuckle everytime I think about that first story.

      Marvin
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      • Profile picture of the author cash89
        Originally Posted by Marvin Johnston View Post

        I went back and reread what I posted. It looked too much like a rant which was not the intention ... at least on this thread . So it was edited to remove the "rant" including part of your quote. So sorry about that one!

        In spite of my feelings, I do run across telemarketers that come across as professionals. And those people I will listen to since unlikely as it seems, I might actually learn something about telemarketing done right .

        Regardless, I still get a chuckle everytime I think about that first story.

        Marvin
        Awww maannnn! Now there is no context for my post! People are going to think im some crazy telemarketer hater. My credibility has gone out the window due to your needless editing.

        GOOD DAY SIR!!!
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        • Profile picture of the author Marvin Johnston
          Originally Posted by cash89 View Post

          Awww maannnn! Now there is no context for my post! People are going to think im some crazy telemarketer hater. My credibility has gone out the window due to your needless editing.

          GOOD DAY SIR!!!
          Your credibility is in good shape. If I had left the post as is, mine might never have recovered .

          Marvin
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  • Profile picture of the author Rearden
    I had one guy call on me two or three times; he's the only telemarketer I remember after years of getting a variety of calls.

    He would always open his calls with corny ass jokes. Mostly funny. His was pitching pens; almost got me to buy once.

    He rebuttalled me 3 times, dropping his price and adding more to the order to encourage me to buy.

    He was a professional.
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    I am a former telemarketer and telemarketing manager. Here are some points to consider.

    Telemarketing is responsible for thousands of jobs and millions of sales worldwide. Unfortunately they have to often ring you in the evening BECAUSE THAT'S THE MOST LIKELY TIME YOU WILL BE HOME! It's not their fault.

    As long as a telemarketer isn't rude, you should respect their job and simply say you're not interested. Did you ever stop to think that if you abuse them, that can really upset them. (I am deadly serious. I had one girl almost commit suicide thanks to a rude customer).

    So, think before you speak next time that phone rings...or let it go to voicemail if you don't want to be interrupted.
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    • Profile picture of the author Eddie Spangler
      Originally Posted by laurencewins View Post

      As long as a telemarketer isn't rude, you should respect their job and simply say you're not interested. Did you ever stop to think that if you abuse them, that can really upset them. (I am deadly serious. I had one girl almost commit suicide thanks to a rude customer).

      So, think before you speak next time that phone rings...or let it go to voicemail if you don't want to be interrupted.
      Did they ever stop to think that if I get one more telemarketing call during dinner I might just commit suicide

      But seriously i do suggest nice most of the time and if someone is really going to commit suicide because of a rude customer they have serious issues.
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      • Profile picture of the author John Durham
        Originally Posted by Eddie Spangler View Post

        Did they ever stop to think that if I get one more telemarketing call during dinner I might just commit suicide

        But seriously i do suggest nice most of the time and if someone is really going to commit suicide because of a rude customer they have serious issues.
        This is why I gave up the hard stuff years ago (residential calling) cold turkey.

        Now I only do b2b, and my lungs are healthier.

        Talk about high pressure, I was trained on residential...It makes you hardcore, but b2b is better.
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        • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
          Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

          This is why I gave up the hard stuff years ago (residential calling) cold turkey.

          Now I only do b2b, and my lungs are healthier.
          .
          Really, wow ... I must truly be the odd duck.

          First I love Sales... LOVE it.

          Second i LOVE cold calling... Even tho calling warm leads is better for the wallet...
          I truly enjoy calling random people who dont know who i am,
          and showing them why its a good idea to give me money.

          and Third...

          I have always enjoyed residential over b2b.

          I must be a complete nutter

          Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

          I was trained on residential...It makes you hardcore
          That i completely agree with.
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          • Profile picture of the author maverick8
            Originally Posted by kenmichaels View Post

            Really, wow ... I must truly be the odd duck.

            First I love Sales... LOVE it.

            Second i LOVE cold calling... Even tho calling warm leads is better for the wallet...
            I truly enjoy calling random people who dont know who i am,
            and showing them why its a good idea to give me money.

            and Third...

            I have always enjoyed residential over b2b.

            I must be a complete nutter



            That i completely agree with.
            I really wish i had your mentality. I would be a millionaire if i had your mentality. Picking up that phone is a nightmare for me.
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            • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
              Originally Posted by maverick8 View Post

              I really wish i had your mentality. I would be a millionaire if i had your mentality. Picking up that phone is a nightmare for me.
              Maybe i can help you change the way you think about it.

              When i talk to someone, i know for a fact, in every fiber of my being
              that i can and will help them, if they allow it.

              That is my entire secret ....

              I believe in what i am doing, that is all.

              So let me ask you... Do you believe in what your selling?

              Because if you do, then you should be excited to talk to people

              I am not sure what your selling, but its only going to fall into
              two different categories,

              You are helping them to save money
              or
              you are helping them to make money

              why wouldn't people want to talk to you?

              EVERYBODY wants to make or save more money.

              And i know it and it excites me to be part of that process,
              and i know they will be excited as well.

              Now YOU know it...

              You just have to transition from knowing ... to believing ...
              and then the nightmare will be over.

              and who knows ... maybe this time next year, you will be a millionaire
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              • Profile picture of the author Lee M
                Originally Posted by kenmichaels View Post

                So let me ask you... Do you believe in what your selling?
                Your entire post was very, very good! But this line sticks out.

                Why?

                Probably because ... if you haven't produced the results ... you say that you can (for yourself!) ... then it's hard to convince yourself that you can do it for a client.

                You get excited when you KNOW that you CAN produce a RESULT. i.e. either help someone make money or save money to simplify it.

                Another way to look at it... pick something that you are good at which has NOTHING to do with marketing per se. Example ... 'painting murals' on a wall. If I said, "Can you paint a mural on my wall?" You suddenly act very CONFIDENT because you KNOW that you can do just THAT.
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              • Profile picture of the author maverick8
                Originally Posted by kenmichaels View Post

                Maybe i can help you change the way you think about it.

                When i talk to someone, i know for a fact, in every fiber of my being
                that i can and will help them, if they allow it.

                That is my entire secret ....

                I believe in what i am doing, that is all.

                So let me ask you... Do you believe in what your selling?

                Because if you do, then you should be excited to talk to people

                I am not sure what your selling, but its only going to fall into
                two different categories,

                You are helping them to save money
                or
                you are helping them to make money

                why wouldn't people want to talk to you?

                EVERYBODY wants to make or save more money.

                And i know it and it excites me to be part of that process,
                and i know they will be excited as well.

                Now YOU know it...

                You just have to transition from knowing ... to believing ...
                and then the nightmare will be over.

                and who knows ... maybe this time next year, you will be a millionaire
                Hey Ken,
                Great post. I am aware it is all about the mentality and mindset. Just need to jump in and get it done.

                I do believe in what i am selling. I have the results to back me up.

                Ill get on the phone next week. and ill let you know how i go.

                Thanks again for the post Ken.
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                • Profile picture of the author kenmichaels
                  Originally Posted by maverick8 View Post


                  I do believe in what i am selling. I have the results to back me up.
                  Then you are better off then 90% of the people in here.

                  or as i like to say In like Flynn

                  When you start knocking it out of the ball park, let us know
                  i really like hearing about people sacking up, and making things happen.
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  • Profile picture of the author zuhaib1111
    ha ha not bad story
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  • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
    Had a car place tell me they were having an "invitation only sale" today. Wow. That takes some balls!

    Worst was a guy that argued with me that I was not on the national do not call list because he was calling and he would not be calling if that were the case. After 2 minutes of back and forth I finally asked him what he was selling. He had one minute to tell me. Hung up anyway.

    But the worst is there are these guys from India lately that are spoofing the phone number and calling to clean our ducts. Had one tell me to F off when I told them not to call. So they keep calling and I tell them all our ducks flew away today so not necessary.
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    I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jon Martin
    Ken Michaels knows what he's talking about. That's how I got over my initial fear of b2b cold calling - believe in what you're selling/offering! Act as if you're helping them, not interrupting them. If you go into a call hesitant and worried that you're interrupting you'll probably come off as more of a nuisance anyway. Just call. The amount of people who will actually scream at you is so minuscule in reality. Give it a try, bud!
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    "Be the hero of your own movie."
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  • Profile picture of the author Jon Martin
    When I worked in a call center sometimes we would goof off and talk in different accents for fun. The worst is when you actually get an interested lead and so you have to continue talking in that accent for the remainder of a 10 minute call while booking it.. haha. I grew less immature quickly though.
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    "Be the hero of your own movie."
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