My Cold Call script... (critique or suggestions?)

Having cold called myself and trained others in the art I would suggest opening with, "is it a good time"...its better to start off that way instead of asking if its a bad time.

Also, you are educating too much on the phone, which is bringing down your prospecting time. Sell the appointment. Most people have contemplated web design for their business, EVERYONE, so finding out what their competitors are doing is paramount. If all the dentists in the same area have a site and they don't, that would be a better motivator, it takes you outa the equation and now makes it about them.
If I was gonna mention any knowledge, data, info I would mention the fact that "87% of all searches is for something local, question is, do you want access to that 87%?"
If they don't own the vision they don't have any neck in the game, so with their help project into the future with them owning the vision by asking them, "what effect would that have on your bottom line", or "what effect would it have on your business if suddenly your services/products/business was available to that 87%"
Your trying to engage them in conversation by talking about them. You are also selling the appointment. If they ask you to "just send me some info" then ask back, "what exactly would you like me to send you"...try to draw them out, don't deal with tire-kickers, they are wastes of time that don't have the balls to tell you NO.
Yes's and No's are great, MAYBE's will kill your business.

Here is how I would open your script,

"Hi is Thom in"?
after they answer,
"Hi Thom, this is Justin B giving you a call, and Thom, your not going to recognize my name because I am calling you as a cold call. Would it be ok if I quickly tell you the reason why I am calling?"

this opening is pure gold! its honest, refreshing, and people respect your upfrontness. I have had business owner tell me how nice my opening is, I have had small biz owners thank me for being honest with them.

When they give you permission, THATS when you deliver your speech.

"I work with small business owners like yourself in this area and I am wondering if you are unhappy with the amount of leads you get from your site (or something like that)."

YOU HAVE TO FIND PAIN or there is no impetus for change. Find out reasons that drive small business owners to feel pain and then take action to revamp their site etc.
Is the pain in the form of a small bottom line or smaller profits? maybe they are lacking credibility without the site?
FIND THE PAIN
FIND THE PAIN
FIND THE PAIN

Yeah gotcha, one thing I have learned from doing calls with my other business is that it's much easier to turn a buyer or someone interested in your offer into new/repeat buyer than it is to convince someone who's not interested. You could potentially do it but you'll be wasting a lot more time trying to convince someone rather than having someone see your point of view and sell themselves on it.

The script isn't finalized... in fact after the first day or 2 I'm sure it will look much different but this is what I'm running with for now. Also, I am going to try and close over the phone, as I mentioned I've closed 2k deals over the phone on a first time call... I've done followups and closed as well but never needed to set an appointment in person.

What I've always done is touch on emotional needs in both the pitch and rebuttal and then used numbers to sell them on the logical reasons. I'll try to keep the thread updated with how things go this upcoming week.