What's the Best One You've Heard?

13 replies
Had a short conversation with an auto repair owner yesterday that sends out a post card to a purchased list offering a free inspection when you buy an oil change. He admits that industry avg is only a few percent but he gets a whopping 87% response. I said 87%?!?! He said yea...consistently. :rolleyes:

That was the end of that conversation.
#heard
  • Profile picture of the author Rearden
    Free sex with oil inspection -- limited to the first 5 repondents -- expires 2 days from now?
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    • Profile picture of the author kellyyarnsbro
      Originally Posted by Rearden View Post

      Free sex with oil inspection -- limited to the first 5 repondents -- expires 2 days from now?
      Lol, this is the best i've heard so far. Should write on a banner "Enjoy while we Inspect" .
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Rearden View Post

      Free sex with oil inspection -- limited to the first 5 repondents -- expires 2 days from now?
      I think this guy thought it was a great idea..until I called him to take him up on it. I really really needed an oil change.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    I would bait him.

    Start acting real interested, asking detailed questions like you are amazed at how successful he is..., and let him tell you every detail of how he does it, until you hear the "Catch", then call him on it, and explain to him why his estimations arent really accurate...because chances are, they arent.

    He is probably getting his ideas from someone else and doesnt realize they are inflating the numbers based on this or that. You can be the hero by showing him that he is being given inaccurate information, ande he may want to do business with you just based on the fact that you were able to have the insight to see this.

    Sheesh, you learn so much on forums. It's amazing. Learn something new every day.
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    • Profile picture of the author PaulintheSticks
      Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

      I would bait him.

      Start acting real interested, asking detailed questions like you are amazed at how successful he is..., and let him tell you every detail of how he does it, until you hear the "Catch", then call him on it, and explain to him why his estimations arent really accurate...because chances are, they arent.

      Sheesh, you learn so much on forums. It's amazing. Learn something new every day.
      The guy was proud to let me know he does all of his own marketing. So he's either delusional or a liar and either way, I wouldn't want to work with him. Plus he obviously doesn't need my help if he's getting an 87% response rate.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    I once saw a sign on a bar advertising the name of the band that was playing that night as "free beer", I can only guess they were packed with standing room only.
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    • Profile picture of the author Aaron Doud
      Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

      I once saw a sign on a bar advertising the name of the band that was playing that night as "free beer", I can only guess they were packed with standing room only.
      Ever seen the movie PCU? That is where they got the idea. "Tonight, at the Pit, 'Everyone Gets Laid.'" and of course the band's name is.....
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      • Profile picture of the author John Durham
        Originally Posted by Aaron Doud View Post

        Ever seen the movie PCU? That is where they got the idea. "Tonight, at the Pit, 'Everyone Gets Laid.'" and of course the band's name is.....
        Free beer?
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        • Profile picture of the author Aaron Doud
          Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

          Free beer?
          LOL no but "Everyone Gets Laid" at the Pit

          There actually was free beer there but the cover was like $20 and the movie takes place in like 94 so hell that's almost $50 today. I can buy a lot of beer for $50.

          Great movie if you have never seen it. I'd put it up there near Animal House when it comes to college movies.
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Banned
    You can't do more then 110 calls a day before quality of the calls drop.
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  • Profile picture of the author Aaron Doud
    Maybe it was a list of houses within 3 blocks of his location and the oil change was $9.99 unlimited quarts.
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  • Profile picture of the author misterme
    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

    I think this guy thought it was a great idea..until I called him to take him up on it. I really really needed an oil change.
    My garage guy said he was having an Oil and Lube Special. At his house Saturday night. I should've suspected he was kinky when he kept on telling me about the time he was banged in the rear.

    Originally Posted by PaulintheSticks View Post

    The guy was proud to let me know he does all of his own marketing. So he's either delusional or a liar and either way, I wouldn't want to work with him. Plus he obviously doesn't need my help if he's getting an 87% response rate.
    Can you place a plant on his mailing list to see what he sends - and when?

    Not saying he's being factual, but... I'm thinking he sends out mailers only to the people who's inspection is coming up, as their dates come up, and that alone may account for a higher response rate. You HAVE to get the inspection done. And maybe the psychology is they have to get the oil change done sooner or later too, so what the heck, save a few bucks by taking him up on the offer now.

    So no, maybe he doesn't need your help. But if you can figure out what he's doing, you can take that to other (out of the area) garages as a marketing plan.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      When dealing with people (especially uneducated ones) you get some pretty wild claims.

      I had a man tell me that he was the number one Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman in the country. I was standing in his subsidized efficiency apartment at the time.

      I sell heaters in my store. I've had a few guys say "I can buy those for $100 at...". I always accept their offer and say "You can? I'll pay you $200 each for 100 of them right now. I'll go to the bank, and get a truck, and we'll drive there.
      Fastest $10,000 you ever made!". Of course, it's meaningless.

      Or "I can build one for $75". Me.."I believe you. I want to order 100 right now. I'll pay you $200 each".

      I've had several people tell me that they threw out a salesman years ago. What they didn't remember, was that it was me. And of course, nothing like that ever really happened.

      Remember; Everyone is either the hero or the victim in their story.

      That's why they lie. Because almost none of us are heroes, and very few are truly victims.

      A salesman working for me once said, in a large meeting, that he had a 98% closing ratio. I was shocked. He had only made one sale..ever (one I wrote up and gave him).

      I said "Anthony, you have been here for a couple of months now. You've gone on over 100 presentations. You have one sale. How do you get 98% closing ratioo?"

      Anthony said (With the power of belief behind him) "Those others don't count".
      That stupid grin you see in my Avatar photo? That's the expression I had at that very moment.
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      What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
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