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Critique My Pitch? :)

by Jon Martin
2 replies
Hey Guys,

If anyone wants to jump in and give me some advice on my cold calling opener it'd be greatly appreciated. Everyone here is always so supportive and offers great ideas, so I thought I'd give it a shot and see if anyone can help out with their advice:

Credit to Amy Kay for helping me out with my opener thus far!

Hi, my name is Jon and I live here in London. I'm working with some other small businesses here in the City on an advertising piece to promote some LOCAL services, and we're looking for a good _______ to join us.

Can I tell you about we're doing?


* We're actually creating 2000 refridgerator magnets here in London, to feature business names and phone numbers for a variety of local services.

I'm actually just calling to offer you a spot on this magnet to promote some local business for you. It's a super cheap advertising method and its sure to get your phone ringing with new customers who need your service.


Now, if I told you that we could put your business in 2000 homes and get your phone ringing with a ton of NEW customers, would you be interested?
#critique #pitch
  • Profile picture of the author Eddie Spangler
    How is putting my name on a magnet going to get my phone to ring?

    Personally I wouldnt pitch it in a way that infers they will get phone calls but rather I would let them come to that conclusion on there own.ie

    Imagine your business being placed in front of a local homeowner who sees your name everytime they open the refrigerator, 10 times a day, 365 days a year. If someone needs a plumber do you think there is a pretty good chance they will call you instead of picking up the yellow pages or going online.

    Would you pay a dime for this opportunity

    "Well yeah, how can you do that"

    Thats why Im calling you ,pitch............., now write me a check for $200 and I will place your name in 2000 such homes.

    This is childs play Jon, if you dont sell all 12 spots? by July 12, 2 weeks from today, I will be very disappointed with you.
    Signature
    Promise Big.
    Deliver Bigger.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ron Lafuddy
    Jon,

    Don't forget to mention "exclusivity", as in, "you will be the Only plumber that these 2,000
    households will see everytime they open the refrigerator. That's a big pain point with small
    biz advertisers. Generally, if interested, they'll bring it up, if you don't mention it first.

    They hate sharing ad space with their competitors, so use it to your advantage.
    When it's exclusive, you can ask for and get more money.

    Good Luck!
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