Insane Things Clients Have Said To You

For a 15k web dev job, just when we were signing the contract:

"You know, I thought about it and I don't think I should pay a deposit, I'll pay after it is up and running"... I almost started laughing.

I have a web design client which is a music composer, I built him a cool flash website.
He founds some minor mistakes which are not actually mistakes but few minor adjustments which require after almost any project done.

He started bashing on me on call even though I tried hard to let him understand that these things are just a matter of an hour at most and It'll be complete within an hour from now its not a big deal but he was not listening what I saying and keep bashing and also try to threaten me by saying again and again that
"my lawyer gona talk to you"

After almost 5 minutes I said in a very humble way "Mr Fred I don't want to do business with you anymore so please give my number to your lawyer"

After saying this it's almost 6-8seconds silence then he replied man are you serious can't you able to do 1 more hour of work and get paid the rest of the amount, I said no and hang up.

I get more then 10 missed calls and 6 voice mail messages in the next 3 days from him in which he was saying sorry for his behaviour.

After 3 days I picked up the phone told him to send me the remaining payment(from paypal) he was on work but he did it in an hour then after 2 days I completed his task.

That's the worst experience I had in my offline career which started in early 2013.

I didn't know people still built flash websites, in 2013.

One morning I got a frantic phone call from a client complaining that she could not get to her website. I could get to the website just fine, but she insisted there was a problem.

After about an hour of troubleshooting with her and her hosting company, I finally asked "Can you get to any website?"

"Well, no," she said. "Our Internet connection is down. The DSL guy should be here later today to fix it."

Ahem.

haha, I had a similar experience with a client who couldn't access their email. Wasted about an hour of my day. Won't make that mistake again.

I had a client tell me he was going to "put me through a meat grinder".

I threatened to take his website down because he hadn't paid the remaining balance ($300). He called me every name in the book.

It was a jewelry business in Vegas so you never know.

5 months later he called and asked for his username/password for his website. In that 5 months he had someone else re-design his site.

Not me.

He still thought I should have access to his site.

Check out www.ClientsFromHell.net

That website is mostly from our industry and is HILARIOUS!

In 1993 the owner of a BIG strip club in Atlanta was my first customer when I sold merchant services. He blew cigar smoke in my face during the presentation. He was electronically approving credit cards BUT refused to ACH. He like to touch the money( and knuckle busted receipts) before he put it in the bank....BTW, a few years later he was assassinated in his home drive way.