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"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

by TheBigBee
15 replies
That quote is by Jim Rhon.

You can paste that quote (title) into Google and find a bunch of great content around it.

Usually, I take quotes with a grain of salt. A lot of them are hot air b.s. quotes that someone sharted from the depths of their gizzards to sound smart.

However, in unpacking and most importantly practicing this, I find it to be totally true.

If that quote means anything, then at the very worst - 1 person should raise your average and the other 4 should not harm it (be equal).

If part of your plan to succeed this year is not seeking out the smartest people you can find as mentors, advisors, etc. then maybe it should.

For instance, last year, my biz partner went and volunteered himself to a company to beef up his resume in a particular discipline. In short, he worked for free. He got more than a resume "beef up" - they helped him get rid of one of his weaknesses.

His greatest weakness was their greatest strength and vice versa. Now my partner is a stronger partner and asset to the company because of it. These two guys were 2 of the 5 people he spent the most time with.
#average #closest #people
  • Profile picture of the author bob ross
    there's a great 50 cent video on youtube (can't look right now to link it) where he's on a rooftop. If you listen to the last bit of it he talks about how other people get pissed when he's in his old neighborhood and he doesn't bother to talk with them. He talks about how they all came from the same situation and he just worked harder to get where he is.

    He says they can't offer him information that will help him, so there's no reason to waste time talking about nothing. He quotes his grandfather who always told him "you'll only go as far as the people you talk to for no reason".

    Really powerful statement.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      There is some truth to it. If you hang around wealthy people, you tend to be more comfortable making more money...and so you do. You tend to act like your closest friends, and so your income tends to be close to theirs.

      But it's not absolute.

      In any group, someone makes the most money. In some cases, it's me. In some cases, I make the least. I don't make the average of my 5 closest friends. But if we all worked for the same company? I think it would be closer.

      This is a tendency, rather than a real rule. It's like the 80/20 rule. In some instances it's really 95/5 or 1/99. But it's a fun rule to bandy about.
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      • Profile picture of the author TheBigBee
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        there is some truth to it. If you hang around wealthy people, you tend to be more comfortable making more money...and so you do. You tend to act like your closest friends, and so your income tends to be close to theirs.

        But it's not absolute.

        In any group, someone makes the most money. In some cases, it's me. In some cases, I make the least. I don't make the average of my 5 closest friends. But id we all worked for the same company? I think it would be closer.

        This is a tendency, rather than a real rule. It's like the 80/20 rule. In some instances it's really 95/5 or 1/99. But it's a fun rule to bandy about.
        I think this sort of philosophy rings true 100% of the time when the "average" is related to knowledge.

        You put me in a room with 10 billionaires, the average may be hundreds of millions of dollars of wealth when taking my $0 into account. However, when I leave that room, my "wealth" leaves with me. I head home broke with a cool "story to tell."

        But you put me in a room with 10 people who are deeply passionate about a subject I am, and who are more versed on the subject than me, when I go home that night, the benefits of that experience may stay with me forever.
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        • Profile picture of the author savidge4
          I spend 60% of my day with a 5 year old...
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          • Profile picture of the author savidge4
            Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

            I spend 60% of my day with a 5 year old...
            ok today I just spent 4 hours with four 5 and 6 year olds taking them sledding. My average is dropping fast. the plus side is the three sets of parents that trusted me with their kid, driving in the snow, and watching all of them myself.

            Of course we did stop at my favorite watering hole before returning them each home. ( Gas Station ) and they each got RED slushies! That will teach em! ha ha
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  • Profile picture of the author misterme
    Reminds me of "in 5 years you'll be the same person you are today, except for the books you read and the people you meet"

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    • Profile picture of the author joe golfer
      Originally Posted by misterme View Post

      Reminds me of "in 5 years you'll be the same person you are today, except for the books you read and the people you meet"

      Charlie "Tremendous" Jones: The People You Meet and the Books You Read - YouTube

      I love Charlie Jones. I have an old cassette where he talks about mailing his customers:

      "They say 'Take me off your list!' I say 'I recommend you stay on this list. Because you can get off this list. If I take you off this list, though, I'll put you on my OTHER list. And THAT list you can NEVER get off. So I suggest you stay on THIS list.'"

      Here's another good one in the first few minutes of this video: "They tell me, 'Jones, you have to relax, you have to get away from it all.'"

      "Get away from it all? I'M TRYING TO GET INTO IT ALL!"

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  • Profile picture of the author mjbmedia
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      I think it applies a lot to habits... if you hang out with people who like to go for walks, you end up going for walks more often. If you hang out with people who like to sit and watch tv, you end up doing more of it.

      If you hang out with people who think and talk marketing, you end up doing the same, and, if they're got good ideas, you end up doing the same.

      The tendency in most group is for the "better" members to 'lower" themselves to the "bad" member level. At least according to a study I read a while back about thin and fat people. The study found that, most of the time, if you put together a fat person and a bunch of skinnies, the skinnies put on weight, the fat one tends to not lose weight.

      A lot of the habits you pick have a real impact on your life. So, if you hang out with 5 people who are successful business people, you might end up picking up some of the habits that made them successful. And, of course, you might pick up an idea or two, as well.

      Would you end up being the average of the 5? Dunno.

      But I like the quote anyway.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by DABK View Post

        The tendency in most group is for the "better" members to 'lower" themselves to the "bad" member level. At least according to a study I read a while back about thin and fat people. The study found that, most of the time, if you put together a fat person and a bunch of skinnies, the skinnies put on weight, the fat one tends to not lose weight.

        Maybe with weight gain. But I've always been pulled up by associating with people who are brighter than I am....that make more money than I do.

        And I've never (at least in my memory) been pulled down by thinking poorly. I thing I know the reason. Once you know how to be more successful, and have proved it to yourself, you can't go back. You can't dumb down.

        I may leave the group, but I can't go back to being illiterate.
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        • Profile picture of the author maverick8
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          Maybe with weight gain. But I've always been pulled up by associating with people who are brighter than I am....that make more money than I do.

          And I've never (at least in my memory) been pulled down by thinking poorly. I thing I know the reason. Once you know how to be more successful, and have proved it to yourself, you can't go back. You can't dumb down.

          I may leave the group, but I can't go back to being illiterate.
          Claude i tend to agree with you at some level. Though a part of me wonders how it would affect you (and me) on the subconscious level. We will never know of course. Though i believe it has to have some little influence. It is human nature to be influenced by other, be it good or bad.
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by maverick8 View Post

            Claude i tend to agree with you at some level. Though a part of me wonders how it would affect you (and me) on the subconscious level. We will never know of course. Though i believe it has to have some little influence. It is human nature to be influenced by other, be it good or bad.

            Everything affects us. Some things attract, and some repel.

            I am repelled by being poor. I was raised poor. All my relatives were poor. They were all either on disability (for very dubious reasons) or worked in a shop. Nobody went to college. Our church strongly discouraged it. (for reasons that became obvious later).

            So I grew up hating poverty. I hate poverty more than I like success.
            I'm pathological about it. And it all came because of the environment I was raised in.
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  • Profile picture of the author jsherloc
    Dangit I wrote out a huge reply and somehow it got zapped, but yeah I love this quote and similar others. As I get older I really see the value in surrounding yourself with the right people. I think geography/location has a lot to do with people's mindsets and motivations too.

    For example, in the Bay Area, I always would get surges of "creative energy" being surrounded by like-minded people that are passionate about what they do. Like-minded people surrounded by other like-minded people creating things and coming up with strategies, startups and web project collaboration etc.

    Flipside, in social/business groups in midwest Ohio I just never saw that sort of "EVERYDAY energy". Now certainly there is "success", inspirations, and "quality" people everywhere, but I feel like the "collective" mindsets and motivations can differ a lot in certain regions.
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  • Profile picture of the author umc
    Well, looks like I won't be spending my time hanging out with you guys on here anymore. Draggin' a brotha down. Smdh.

    On a more serious note, I grew up poor-ish and poor people certainly have poor ways. I hear my parents say things sometimes that boggle my mind now that my eyes have been opened. I know lots of people that are the same way. They think there is no use in reaching out for anything because they can't have it, they villianize people with more than they have, and they spend money on stuff rather than on bettering themselves. Look at people now wanting the minimum wage raised rather than going out and getting something for themselves. I could go on and on just with examples from my own family, and it can really drag you down if you let it. When my wife and I told my parents that we were going all-in to pay off our tax debt of $55k in three years or less they told me that it was crazy, that we would likely fail, and that even if we made it something would just come up that would knock us back down. We got it done in 18 months instead of three years, managed to pay for a new hvac system in the process, and 2013 was our first year out of debt. We now have a three month emergency fund, other money in the bank, and we bought two new (to us) cars last year to replace our old ones that were worn out. Furnished a new living room too. But they still don't believe, and they still do the same things financially that they always did. Some people need the government to give them more money by raising the minimum wage, and other people go create their own raises. I prefer being in the latter. I just don't have any actual friends or family that belong to the same club.
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    • Profile picture of the author DABK
      Hey, I'm related to a few people who are like that. One of them isn't going for better paying job within her company because if she made more, she'd pay more in taxes, and what's the point, then?

      Originally Posted by umc View Post

      Well, looks like I won't be spending my time hanging out with you guys on here anymore. Draggin' a brotha down. Smdh.

      On a more serious note, I grew up poor-ish and poor people certainly have poor ways. I hear my parents say things sometimes that boggle my mind now that my eyes have been opened. I know lots of people that are the same way. They think there is no use in reaching out for anything because they can't have it, they villianize people with more than they have, and they spend money on stuff rather than on bettering themselves. Look at people now wanting the minimum wage raised rather than going out and getting something for themselves. I could go on and on just with examples from my own family, and it can really drag you down if you let it. When my wife and I told my parents that we were going all-in to pay off our tax debt of $55k in three years or less they told me that it was crazy, that we would likely fail, and that even if we made it something would just come up that would knock us back down. We got it done in 18 months instead of three years, managed to pay for a new hvac system in the process, and 2013 was our first year out of debt. We now have a three month emergency fund, other money in the bank, and we bought two new (to us) cars last year to replace our old ones that were worn out. Furnished a new living room too. But they still don't believe, and they still do the same things financially that they always did. Some people need the government to give them more money by raising the minimum wage, and other people go create their own raises. I prefer being in the latter. I just don't have any actual friends or family that belong to the same club.
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      • Profile picture of the author umc
        Originally Posted by DABK View Post

        Hey, I'm related to a few people who are like that. One of them isn't going for better paying job within her company because if she made more, she'd pay more in taxes, and what's the point, then?
        Brilliant!

        I will say that government does make it hard for certain people to rise up. I just heard a story on a podcast that I listen to where the podcaster and his wife have helped a lady get on her feet after coming out of prison. She has righted her life, and she makes $14/hour doing medical transcription. I believe she has three kids that she raises alone. The government was giving her aid on her rent, child care, health care, etc. Well, now that she's been doing well for six months, she lost all of that. According to the numbers he gave, she was basically clearing a little over $2000/mo, and now that her aid was taken away and she now has to pay for Obamacare, she just incurred about $2100 of additional bills since they yanked all assistance away. Makes it hard to rise up out of those situations. So here in the USA, sometimes it is bigger than simply a lack of ambition or poor people ways. That still doesn't make things like what you posted or what my parents often said make sense. And those people will still try to drag you down, much like the black crab story.
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