[Graham Maddison]

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.




She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.


'You ok?' she says.


'Yes.' he says.


'You can go and play with the other kids you know.'she says.


'It's best I stay here.'he says. '


'Why?' says the blonde.


The boy says: 'Because, I'm the *** goalie'

[Andie]

Men Are Blonde, Too

TRAFFIC CAMERA

A man was driving

when a traffic camera flashed.

He thought his picture was taken

for exceeding the speed limit,

even though he knew he was not speeding.

Just to be sure,

he went around the block

and passed the same spot,

driving even more slowly,

but again the camera flashed.

He thought this was quite funny,

so he slowed down even further

as he drove past the area,

but the traffic camera flashed yet again.

He tried a fourth time with the same result.

The fifth time he was laughing

when the camera flashed

as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later,

he got five (5) traffic fine letters in the mail

for driving without a seat belt.

And they say blondes are dumb.

[Graham Maddison]

I'm just guessing,

Maybe another blonde!

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.


The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

[Thunder059]

interesting stuff....i have also played for my school and university team as the goalie. But don't misunderstand me as i'm fat.I'm just a thin layer....

[talfighel]

Graham,

That is very funny. Good stuff.

Tal