Does a Definitive Google Ranking Factors Exist?

Hi all, just checking to see if you guys could put my mind at ease about this. Ive been doing the rounds of the top SEO blogs and experts around and some of them let on like they know for sure what factors of a websites make-up, both on page and off page go into determining the ranking that google gives it for whatever search terms are relevant. Is this true, is there a definitive list available listing the criteria that google, and possible other search engines use?

I have an inkling that this is not the case. I feel that if such a list existed then it would be very hot property then internet marketing, SEO and other fields would be a game of haves and have nots.
Namely those who have the list, and those that dont. And in this day and age of content sharing and basic ignoring of ownership rights, I cant see a way in which the list would remain private.
It also seems like SEO draws so many people in because of its ever changing nature, its laws constantly evolve and therefore, so must its practitioners. It seems like it attracts people who enjoy such an environment. From what I gather, SEO seems to be based on a few hard and fast rules, then a myriad of assumptions regarding the remaining criteria.

So it seems Ive turned a simple question into a long winded one (again). What do you guys think, are those that pretend to know it all b*llsh*tters, or does a list of SEO ranking criteria actually exist?
Cheers.