If you're backlinking it, it doesn't matter. Just get what sounds/looks better for the site/brand.

is this for branding? if it is, what is the name of the company

if not I would not worry about it, makes no difference
Domain name is very low on the list for SEO

Was facebook.com started with THEfacebook.com

In your case if both is available and no branding issue on the name just grab both domains. If you just want 1 domain take the one without "the". Including "the" on your domain doesn't affect to your SEO, because "the" including on stop word by google.

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w/o "the" is much appropriate. however, i would suggest that if you use the acronym then you should consider it i.e "theWDS".

Personally I always try to get my domain as close to the keyword I'm trying to rank for as possible. So in this case I would try to leave out 'The'. If the actual domain you want is already taken, I'd suggest adding a letter to the end of the domain. E.g. weddingdressshowx.com

If you can leave out 'the', do. Most people will forget to type it if they ever bother to type in your address.

The other problem is that to anybody that knows anything about web domains, putting the 'the' in there makes it look like you just couldn't afford the domain name without the 'the'.

I will recommend you to drop the "the" off, people probably won't type the word when they search your keyword, and other keywords.

Justin Timberlake would tell you to drop the "the" ....It's cleaner.

I think that "the" is completely useless! It does not carry an important meaning, just clogs the name...

For SEO purposes I'd skip "The".