I'm starting a local burrito restaurant from what I learned about SEO

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  • SEO
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Hi guys, I've finally developed a plan for opening a brick and mortar restaurant (serving burritos) here in my home town based off everything I've learned about SEO. I'm very excited about this new venture and would love to hear your critiques.
  1. Business name: I thought about creating a brand for my business but based off my guru's recommendations I'm going to call it "Buy Cheap Burritos X" (some other guy in town has a restaurant called "Buy Cheap Burritos" so I added the "X" like I read about in a course.)
  2. My Food: I took the advice I read in another course and I'm outsourcing all my food. The ingredients cost me 1/8 of what I'd normally pay for good quality ingredients but I doubt people will be able to tell the difference between USDA beef and pigeon meat. The outsourced chefs are all different nationalities but hopefully they'll figure out how to put a good burrito together. Besides, I'm only paying them $2 an hour so now I can spend more money on advertising tricks to get people into my restaurant.
  3. Advertising: I found a local guy that's going to charge me 5 bucks to create an advertisement for my business. I figured I'd save money on future ads by having him spin it for me so it looks like I have 20 different advertisements. You can't read them very well at all but I put my burrito restaurant address at the bottom of the ad which is all that matters, plus, who can argue with 5 bucks?! Hopefully the local newspapers won't notice the ad's are impossible to read and ban me from posting them in the future.
  4. Reviews: Since I'm a new business I decided to hire a bunch of dropouts from the local acting school to walk around my restaurant and give customers fake reviews at the tables as people are eating. I figure eventually people will be raving about my new restaurant but I'm impatient and need money fast. Hopefully no one will notice that these reviewers have never even tried my food.
  5. Traffic: Rather than focus on the quality of the burritos I serve at my restaurant I decided to put up a bunch of crappy burrito stands around town that serve burritos with no meat and no filling and then put a sign up directing people to my real restaurant. I figure the more people I can send to my crappy burrito stands all over town, the more traffic I'll end up bringing into my main restaurant. I really hope the meatless burritos don't turn people off to visiting my real restaurant but the "Guru" I follow told me these crappy food carts are a fast track to success.
  6. My Big Secret: Due to the recession many good quality businesses in my town have closed up. My secret is that I buy many of these businesses at a secret auction and when people think they're going to their same old favorite restaurant, I have a sign up saying the business has relocated to my location but I don't tell them it's me. That way I'll steal all the other guy's customers. Hopefully they won't be too upset when they don't find the business they were looking for...
Hopefully a few of you found the satire in this although I'm sure a few are also taking notes and working on the next WSO on how to create a successful burrito restaurant to supplement their affiliate marketing income.

The point is that many of you need to wake up and start treating your IM dabblings like a real career. I'm tired of reading posts of people wondering why they've lost thousands of dollars and had their kingdom of crap disintegrate into the ashes with each new algorithm update. If you all actually sat for a minute and put all the BS you've been taught to the side, you'd probably find a real life hobby or interest that you actually enjoy to create an IM career around, be proud about and make a great income from. Best of all you don't have to lay your head on the pillow every night feeling like a snake oil salesman and wondering what disaster you'll wake up to the next morning.

Real wealth in this world (since the beginning of mankind) has been built on offering true value or service to the public (Rockefeller, Gates, Carnegie). Somewhere that's been lost in the IM world and everyone is just happy grabbing at everyone else's scraps.

Bottom Line: Don't do anything to your online business that would ruin your reputation if people found out you were engaging in such activities with a real world business and start adding real value for your visitor (customers) in everything you do.
#blog #burrito #business #ethics #i’m #learned #local #restaurant #seo #starting
  • Profile picture of the author GobBluthJD
    Your burritos sound delicious.
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    • Profile picture of the author Nathaniel Hunter
      Originally Posted by GobBluthJD View Post

      Your burritos sound delicious.
      Haha, I don't know what it was but the combination of your avatar and your one liner about killed me. Heard in my head as cheech and chong.
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      3hourblogger.com - Click here for the most important post you'll read on becoming successful at internet marketing. (nothing to buy, but please share if you find it useful.)
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  • Profile picture of the author tylerjaysen
    wow dude pretty cool little story...how long did it take you to come up with that? I think that you missed your calling as a story board artist or fiction writer...lol.

    But yeah dig the point you make about this crazy IM world...and that is...just because your business is online, doesn't mean it's any less than a brick n mortar biz.
    Very cool.

    I put together some videos that show you how to get traffic the legit way. Will take some work on your part to achieve results.
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    • Profile picture of the author dburk
      Hi Nathaniel,

      Thanks for that post, it was one of the best posts on this forum that I have read in a while. It is sad to think that so many on this forum just don't get it.

      I look forward to following this thread. Your post not only contained useful information, you presented in an interesting and humorous fashion. I tip my hat to you sir.

      I just realized I have all the makings for a burrito in my fridge, I think I'm going to have a burrito now.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nelapsi
    Please do not interrupt me while I am eating, unless she is telling me about the VIP area of course.
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  • Profile picture of the author jamaks
    Hi, thanks for one of the best posts I have seen here in a while. Must be hungry for dessert as I have just signed up to your list. Like the way you cook I guess. Jim
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    jamaks

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    • Profile picture of the author PerformanceMan
      Originally Posted by jamaks View Post

      Hi, thanks for one of the best posts I have seen here in a while. Must be hungry for dessert as I have just signed up to your list. Like the way you cook I guess. Jim
      Which claim sucked you in? Was it where says you can 'make Red Ferrari' money by following your passion or was it the '3 hour work week?'
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    • Profile picture of the author Nathaniel Hunter
      Hey, thanks man! I have no idea what I'm going to do with it yet but I hate courses and I don't need your money. Maybe I'll send out my advice on IM and pigeon burrito recipes. I'm writing a Kindle book regarding online wealth diversification and since you're the first on the list I'll shoot you a free review copy when it's out. Thanks again! <-- for "jamaks"
      Signature
      3hourblogger.com - Click here for the most important post you'll read on becoming successful at internet marketing. (nothing to buy, but please share if you find it useful.)
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnCitizen
        I don't think your business plan will work.

        You talk about deploying techniques of SEO, but there's nothing in your proposal that is about quality.

        Let me ask you, what makes your burrito's so special? Oh wait you're leaving that to your $2/hr staff that you will be outsourcing to.

        Most marketers nowadays are so stuck up with the easy way.
        If there's something you should take away from your experiences with SEO, it should be that Google is killing all the slackers and rewarding those with the most quality.

        SEO is a premature game in a premature information era. Retail on the other hand has been around for hundreds of years. The ones that survive retail are the ones with the most quality, and this is where the shift of landscape will ultimately become for the internet.

        You have a short term solution that is unfit for a long term purpose.
        You should go back to the drawing board.
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  • Profile picture of the author jamaks
    Maybe it was the chilli sauce that made me suck my breath in. Jim
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    jamaks

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    • Profile picture of the author PerformanceMan
      Originally Posted by jamaks View Post

      Maybe it was the chilli sauce that made me suck my breath in. Jim
      Probably. I was just checking out dude's blog. No Alexa ranking. Zero Twitter followers. And yet he's teaching others how to buy 'Red Ferraris' from blogging.

      He must have skipped the rule about learning to crawl before you run.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sarevok
    That's totally badass to be honest.

    Little piece of advice: Don't forget local advertising!

    I would goto your post office and ask them how much it would cost to blast your entire zipcode with some postcards.

    Also, don't forget to advertise locally on adwords & adcenter.

    But your SEO will be a HUGE BONUS!!!

    I wish you luck. If you were in my area, I'd totally show up and devastate some snacks.

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  • Profile picture of the author PerformanceMan
    Then dude writes in his article "How To Start A Blog And Quit Your Day Job":

    What is an EMD? It’s an internet marketer’s acronym for “Exact Match Domain”. If I wanted to make a site about gardening that teaches people how to garden then naturally I would want a domain name that explained in plain terms what my site was about. I would try to get “LearnToGarden.com” or some similar variation. In my experience if you’re able to get an exact match domain it gives you that extra rankings boost to give you an edge on your competition. Here’s my theory as to why it works so well:

    A whee bit hypocritical!
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    • Profile picture of the author Nathaniel Hunter
      Originally Posted by PerformanceMan View Post

      Probably. I was just checking out dude's blog. No Alexa ranking. Zero Twitter followers. And yet he's teaching others how to buy 'Red Ferraris' from blogging.

      He must have skipped the rule about learning to crawl before you run.
      ...Says the guy with 2 Facebook likes, a twitter button that goes nowhere and a mail order Russian bride serving Starbucks as a logo for his "local SEO" company. Sounds like you're off and running at full speed there buddy. I created the blog in my signature a few weeks ago and I'm really trying to help people out with it. Who's Alexa? She sounds like a sweet girl.

      Originally Posted by PerformanceMan View Post

      Which claim sucked you in? Was it where says you can 'make Red Ferrari' money by following your passion or was it the '3 hour work week?'
      Shhhh... it's the 3 hour blogger, not the 3 hour work week. Dammit man, you're going to get me sued by Tim Ferriss.

      Originally Posted by PerformanceMan View Post

      Then dude writes in his article "How To Start A Blog And Quit Your Day Job":

      What is an EMD? It's an internet marketer's acronym for "Exact Match Domain". If I wanted to make a site about gardening that teaches people how to garden then naturally I would want a domain name that explained in plain terms what my site was about. I would try to get "LearnToGarden.com" or some similar variation. In my experience if you're able to get an exact match domain it gives you that extra rankings boost to give you an edge on your competition. Here's my theory as to why it works so well:

      A whee bit hypocritical!
      Any particular reason why you took out the big red letters that said "THEORY WARNING" above that section of the post? To your credit that particular post is for the beginner so I probably shouldn't get into theories and it was written before the update. And for the record, one could easily turn "learn to garden" into a brand or a future series of books. My post above was referencing the idiotic technique of naming your site "creditcardx.com".

      Now that our pissing match is hopefully over, let me give you some tips. Your local seo website is created for us marketers, not for offline clients. Offline clients don't care about whitehat or blackhat, you're just going to confuse them. Focus on the results your company can bring to their business (more tables filled at their restaurant, more people shopping in their store), add testimonials from real business owners - you'll land more jobs and charge $800/mo rather than a measily $97 one time fee. I don't know if you got the memo but traditional advertising is dead and businesses have bigger budgets to allocate into digital marketing as they transition out of traditional. I would never take your service seriously at that rate as a business owner with a marketing/advertising budget and payroll to meet every month. At that price you're going to attract uncommitted, cheap clients with big expectations. Also your site doesn't come up when you type "Cleavland Ohio SEO". How are you going to convince clients to use you when you're unable to rank your own company? At least invest in some PPC for that term so businesses take you more serious and until you can get ranking on the first page naturally.

      Just trying to help, hope it doesn't come off as mean and even though you rip me apart rather than add anything of value to my post, I'd like to see you do well. If you want some more tips, you're more than welcome to pm me and I'd be happy to help.

      He who casts the first burrito...
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      3hourblogger.com - Click here for the most important post you'll read on becoming successful at internet marketing. (nothing to buy, but please share if you find it useful.)
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      • Profile picture of the author PerformanceMan
        Originally Posted by Nathaniel Hunter View Post

        Just trying to help, hope it doesn't come off as mean and even though you rip me apart rather than add anything of value to my post, I'd like to see you do well. If you want some more tips, you're more than welcome to pm me and I'd be happy to help.

        He who casts the first burrito...
        Of course I expected a completely douchey comment from you, so you didn't let me down.

        If you're making "Red Ferrari" money from your website than I own a fleet of aircraft from mine. BTW, I'm not interested in "CLEAVLAND" as you called it, or for that matter getting clients from this forum. I went ahead and removed the sig to my test site so I can now feel free to criticize who ever I want. Thanks for you two bit analysis of my business. Good luck with your imaginary one
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  • Profile picture of the author sleeperz
    My friend, Bob Sakamanow, started a burrito restaurant using the same marketing strategies you are using...

    Everything was going great, but he didn't plan for the unexpected...

    And then the unexpected happened...

    A panda smashed through his window and then proceeded to rip apart the whole restaurant . It broke everythin... EVERYTHING damnit!!!

    The tables, the chairs, the food, the cash register, the counter, the oven, the fridge... All ruined.

    Moral of the story... You can do everything right, but a wild animal might just suddeny destroy everything
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  • Profile picture of the author pbrite
    That was a really good outline. I'm doing IM as a fun hobby right now and I like building things from the ground up. I'm a writer first so it's time consuming to get articles done for my sites but right now it's paying dividends. I've only ever submitted one backlink and created a Facebook fan page for my Amazon/Adsense hybrid. But in six months with just 25 articles I rank top 10 in 5 keywords/phrases and am making about $5 a day. I expect that to increase over the holidays and my site has only attracted more traffic with all the updates (350 pageviews per day). All i bought was a domain and hosting. Is it small potatoes? Absolutely compared to what others are making in here. But it's one site i built from the ground up with no gimmicks or wasted investments in crap products. The next one will be faster now that I've learned the ropes. I have 10 more in mind.


    Posted from Warriorforum.com App for Android
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    You are an expert. You know how to write. But how do you get started for free?
    Writing Jobs From Home, that's how

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  • Profile picture of the author jxam69
    Sorry OP, but I don't think your restaurant will succeed, unless you hire an automated service that goes around and writes notes which they stick on the front of all the other shops and businesses in your town.

    This will work wonders as other business owners really like to have irrelevant notes attached to their shopfronts.
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    This space will be awarded to the first WSO owner who can prove they make Million$ from their methods.

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  • Profile picture of the author retsek
    Nice story, good message. I completely agree, but at the same time you're promising wealth and riches at 3 hours at week ? What gives ??
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  • Profile picture of the author Quoia
    You had me worried for a minute, I thought this was a real business plan
    I was already preparing my thoughts to try and type a gentle but firm intervention and try to give you some better ideas. The state of the food industry in the US is something that really bugs me.

    Good message, hopefully some will get it.
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  • Profile picture of the author pathwise
    LOL I got about halfway down, wondering how pigeon burritos would taste before I got the hint.

    Nice one sir!
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  • Wanna grab some burritos! Nice post man!
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    While we're on burritos, people could learn a bit about building a real business from Chipotle. They focus solely on product quality and actually don't do any national advertising at all. How are they bringing in business? Mostly by going out and letting people try their food for themselves (catering businesses, offering individuals to come in for a free meal), and let word of mouth do the rest.

    Their profit margins are insane, and they're now growing at a faster rate than McDonalds (in the U.S. at least, IDK about the worldwide market).

    Just thought that I would throw that out there. Great post OP, we could use some more of that from new people on the forum.
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnCitizen
    let us know how you go
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  • Profile picture of the author Yohance j
    Makes sense and I see how they parallel each other
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  • You are going to get very cheap labor. In recent economic situation, getting a chef for $2 per hour is something extraordinary. My best wishes for you. I am sure you will become successful.
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