- Business name: I thought about creating a brand for my business but based off my guru's recommendations I'm going to call it "Buy Cheap Burritos X" (some other guy in town has a restaurant called "Buy Cheap Burritos" so I added the "X" like I read about in a course.)
- My Food: I took the advice I read in another course and I'm outsourcing all my food. The ingredients cost me 1/8 of what I'd normally pay for good quality ingredients but I doubt people will be able to tell the difference between USDA beef and pigeon meat. The outsourced chefs are all different nationalities but hopefully they'll figure out how to put a good burrito together. Besides, I'm only paying them $2 an hour so now I can spend more money on advertising tricks to get people into my restaurant.
- Advertising: I found a local guy that's going to charge me 5 bucks to create an advertisement for my business. I figured I'd save money on future ads by having him spin it for me so it looks like I have 20 different advertisements. You can't read them very well at all but I put my burrito restaurant address at the bottom of the ad which is all that matters, plus, who can argue with 5 bucks?! Hopefully the local newspapers won't notice the ad's are impossible to read and ban me from posting them in the future.
- Reviews: Since I'm a new business I decided to hire a bunch of dropouts from the local acting school to walk around my restaurant and give customers fake reviews at the tables as people are eating. I figure eventually people will be raving about my new restaurant but I'm impatient and need money fast. Hopefully no one will notice that these reviewers have never even tried my food.
- Traffic: Rather than focus on the quality of the burritos I serve at my restaurant I decided to put up a bunch of crappy burrito stands around town that serve burritos with no meat and no filling and then put a sign up directing people to my real restaurant. I figure the more people I can send to my crappy burrito stands all over town, the more traffic I'll end up bringing into my main restaurant. I really hope the meatless burritos don't turn people off to visiting my real restaurant but the "Guru" I follow told me these crappy food carts are a fast track to success.
- My Big Secret: Due to the recession many good quality businesses in my town have closed up. My secret is that I buy many of these businesses at a secret auction and when people think they're going to their same old favorite restaurant, I have a sign up saying the business has relocated to my location but I don't tell them it's me. That way I'll steal all the other guy's customers. Hopefully they won't be too upset when they don't find the business they were looking for...
The point is that many of you need to wake up and start treating your IM dabblings like a real career. I'm tired of reading posts of people wondering why they've lost thousands of dollars and had their kingdom of crap disintegrate into the ashes with each new algorithm update. If you all actually sat for a minute and put all the BS you've been taught to the side, you'd probably find a real life hobby or interest that you actually enjoy to create an IM career around, be proud about and make a great income from. Best of all you don't have to lay your head on the pillow every night feeling like a snake oil salesman and wondering what disaster you'll wake up to the next morning.
Real wealth in this world (since the beginning of mankind) has been built on offering true value or service to the public (Rockefeller, Gates, Carnegie). Somewhere that's been lost in the IM world and everyone is just happy grabbing at everyone else's scraps.
Bottom Line: Don't do anything to your online business that would ruin your reputation if people found out you were engaging in such activities with a real world business and start adding real value for your visitor (customers) in everything you do.