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Showing results 1 to 7 of 7
Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: twright
Forum: Copywriting 18th July 2009, 12:44 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By Keeslover
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

When I got to the page, I wasn't sure what to look at or where to go until the video started, then it loaded so slowly that I clicked away. (I have DSL.) Your customer wants to be led to the sale,...
Forum: Copywriting 17th July 2009, 08:22 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By RentItNow
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

First impress is "what are you selling?" What am I on the page for?

You need a clear CALL TO ACTION. In other words, what do you want the visitor to do now you have their attention.

Good job...
Forum: Copywriting 17th July 2009, 05:19 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By Scott Murdaugh
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

Wow, fantastic site, awesome looking product, good luck!

I agree with Loren, short copy should work just fine for this product.

The main points that I'd hammer home is...

-It's fun.

-It's...
Forum: Copywriting 17th July 2009, 03:47 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By jukeboxhero
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

If I were you I would ad some sales speak to your video explaining the product and what goes on with it, what's it for, why theres nothing else like it.

The site looks pretty though...
Forum: Copywriting 16th July 2009, 08:52 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By redfc
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

First look, it gives me a professional and comfortable kinda feel and it does capture my attention. Its clear you're selling product for toddler.

Your main page has a PR. I guess its been...
Forum: Copywriting 16th July 2009, 05:34 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By Loren Woirhaye
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

I had to click a couple of times to find out what the
price of the product is. Why that choice? It's not
expensive so I would sell what a great value it is.

With software I think it's a...
Forum: Copywriting 16th July 2009, 05:17 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 695
Posted By Collette
Re: Need a Critique of Page: Childrens Product

The graphics are beautiful, but the purpose of the product is unclear.

After poking around a bit, I'm thinking that this is a game you load on to your computer so your kids can play with the...
Showing results 1 to 7 of 7

 
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