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Search: Posts Made By: meetbryce
Forum: Copywriting 6th February 2012, 11:25 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By The Copy Nazi
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

"Go screw yourself"? Not even I would say that here. I'm surprised the Moderators haven't sin-binned you.
Forum: Copywriting 6th February 2012, 11:09 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By RickDuris
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

Mal's right.

It's a "message to market" mismatch right now.

Imagine if you were to promote a hot, new entrepreneially-oriented restaurant or club.

Where you go, just to be seen with and...
Forum: Copywriting 6th February 2012, 10:54 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By The Copy Nazi
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

Rick has nailed it. The money's in the backend - literally.

One thing I did notice - the speakers aren't exactly household names. And the slot with "Mystery Speaker - stay tuned to find out" just...
Forum: Copywriting 6th February 2012, 10:45 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By The Copy Nazi
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

The copy is very ordinary. Corporate-speak. All that stuff at the beginning is summed up in this para - which could be a lot better written.

The headline and deck is boring and cheesy -
...
Forum: Copywriting 6th February 2012, 04:49 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By Daniel Scott
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

The irony in this response is overwhelming.

In regard to the OP... what I'm going to mention has nothing to do with the copy, but it's still important.

I see your event and go "$30? Who the...
Forum: Copywriting 5th February 2012, 10:06 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By Hugh Thyer
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

This is kind of spinning out of control.

I've met Bryce. In fact, it was through this forum that I ended up speaking to one of their mentoring groups. He's a genuine and nice guy.

I can...
Forum: Copywriting 5th February 2012, 10:02 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By Jason Kanigan
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

That's fine...in the future, note that there's a Thanks button. If you find someone's post valuable, you can use it.

As far as the video goes...I think most people will play it if you don't set it...
Forum: Copywriting 5th February 2012, 05:52 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,122
Posted By Jason Kanigan
Re: Sales Page Feedback Greatly Appreciated - Australia's Largest Young Entrepreneur Event

So right away, I'm a bit confused.

The banner says The Entourage. What the heck is that? I'd have made a separate website just for the YEU event.

The image below, the one that--

--wait, why...
Forum: Copywriting 18th August 2011, 04:03 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 718
Posted By ewenmack
Re: Sales Page Feedback Request - Discover The Key Techniques To Grow & Build A Successful Business

Hi Bryce,

Here's what's missing, in one word, No THEME.

All big sold out events have an over-riding theme which is
timely to a widely known problem.

Think of one word.

Bring the focus...
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