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Search: Posts Made By: andrew zirkin
Forum: Copywriting 8th March 2016, 11:52 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,070
Posted By ewenmack
Re: I'd love your feedback

Andrew, it's not encouraging us to assist you further
when we see you are on this forum yet won't reply to the
comments you requested.

Best,
Ewen
Forum: Copywriting 7th March 2016, 06:27 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,070
Posted By ewenmack
Re: I'd love your feedback

Andrew, can you clearly tell us, in one sentence, what your ideal client wants,
but can't get anywhere else?

That's where your message is best directed.

Best,
Ewen
Forum: Copywriting 7th March 2016, 12:59 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,070
Posted By DKCopywriter
Re: I'd love your feedback

-The colors are all over the place.
-You start your letter with "I love you!". That's kinda creepy dude, especially with the pink coloring.
-As people have said, your fonts and design are all over...
Forum: Copywriting 7th March 2016, 12:26 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,070
Posted By splitTest
Re: I'd love your feedback

Hot mess, indeed. The design makes a horrible impression and the copy reads like a cheap con. Zero credibility overall.

This is one of those "tear it up and start over" cases.

If it's...
Forum: Copywriting 11th February 2016, 12:48 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 639
Posted By benschop86
Re: OK Trash My Copy

Also, when you re-write it and re-post it, ask folks to give you very specific feedback on round 2.

Ask people to do a "CUB" on it.

They should point out anything 1) Confusing 2) Unbelievable...
Forum: Copywriting 11th February 2016, 04:13 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 639
Posted By EmailCopyKing
Re: OK Trash My Copy

1) Needs some formatting.

2) Separate the Subheads from content.

3) Use Different Color for Headline, Subheads.

4) Use Bullets, especially where you say "I know what you're thinking" and the...
Forum: Copywriting 10th February 2016, 12:20 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 639
Posted By Benjamin Farthing
Re: OK Trash My Copy

I think all this is dead on.

You've got to cater to the people skimming - there's just no way around it.

Your biggest issue is that it's generic. There's a million people promising riches on...
Forum: Copywriting 10th February 2016, 11:01 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 639
Posted By Alex Cohen
Re: OK Trash My Copy

It's 3,000+ words! Way too long for any working copywriter to critique in its entirety for free.

The headline needs work... reads awkwardly and needs to be pithier.

Alex
Forum: Copywriting 10th February 2016, 10:38 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 639
Posted By angiecolee
Re: OK Trash My Copy

1) Difficult to read as it's currently formatted. Difficult even to scan (which is what your reader is almost always doing, unless they find it absolutely fascinating from start to finish). A great...
Forum: Copywriting 3rd March 2013, 03:14 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By ewenmack
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

I'm hitting 3 hot buttons...

1 being a bestselling author

2 lazy

3 money

And adding authority to be believed
Forum: Copywriting 3rd March 2013, 03:13 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By BudaBrit
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

Now, you see, I'd read that.
Forum: Copywriting 3rd March 2013, 02:10 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By The Copy Nazi
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

"Amazing - how you can have a #1 Hit on Kindle - without even writing a book!

300 Million rabid readers can't wait to give you their money
Forum: Copywriting 2nd March 2013, 07:32 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By RickDuris
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

3 Ideas, Andrew:

1. You're going to have to differentiate your offer. Right now, you sound like everybody else--ONLY WORSE, because the copy isn't up to snuff.

2. As others have accurately...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd March 2013, 01:46 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

Hi Andrew,

Just a few quick thoughts (in brackets) on the headline.

Are You Missing 300 Million Hungry Repeat Buyers on Kindle?

(Good curiosity. But it gets confusing if you say "Repeat...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd March 2013, 01:00 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By BudaBrit
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

For me, it's very hard to understand...
You're first body sentence is: "Now you don’t need to miss your cash machine. I’ve got you covered."

What does that mean?
Forum: Copywriting 2nd March 2013, 10:51 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By DavidG
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

Your headline, subheadline and lead are all promises.

You need to squeeze in proof because peeps will immediately become skeptical by then and probably click off.

You could add those SS of your...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd March 2013, 07:36 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 800
Posted By cindytsmile
Re: I would love your feedback on my Copy

I am a new kid on the block.. but I think I can help you out with this. I see what you are trying to say and I think I can help you to say it. If you are interested, let me know.

I might be...
Forum: Search Engine Optimization 20th March 2011, 03:24 PM
Replies: 826
Views: 121,004
Posted By Chucky
Tip My First 4 Figure Day, 5 Figure Month and 6 Figure Year - Now 2 Years! UPADTED!

First 4 Figure day - Black Friday 2010
First 5 Figure month - November 2010
First 6 Figure year - 2010
Updated with 2011 holiday season results below!

Update May 2012: In the extremely rare...
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