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Showing results 1 to 21 of 21
Search took 0.02 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: mplatts
Forum: Copywriting 4th July 2010, 12:35 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Vitaliy K
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

I think the page is too broad... make it shorter! I mean graphics.
That´s my own opinion
:-))
Forum: Copywriting 4th July 2010, 10:31 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Collette
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Then your copy is confusing to the reader. Worse, you're setting yourself up for poor conversions/instant refund requests. Here's why:

In this day and age, when you say, "audiobook" on a web...
Forum: Copywriting 4th July 2010, 03:26 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By RickDuris
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Hi mplatts,

Thank you and yes--do something similar.

1. And no worries. I didn't intend for you to use it as is. You just needed an example.

Of course, you want the integrity of the piece...
Forum: Copywriting 3rd July 2010, 11:09 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By RickDuris
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

This promotion should be centered around a personal, touching story. Like it came out of Reader's Digest.


----------------------------

Dear Parent,

When I was a kid, from seven on up to...
Forum: Copywriting 3rd July 2010, 10:32 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By wordwizard
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Hi,

I just found this thread and agree with the suggestions above.

A couple of additional comments:

The letter needs to be written from the perspective of the author of the ebook. The...
Forum: Copywriting 3rd July 2010, 07:59 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Nick Brighton
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Personally, I'd hire a copywriter.

No offence, but this copy is way off the mark.

The formatting is terrible, and the message is impersonal and vague.

The title/header "Magic tools for for...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd July 2010, 03:40 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Broyde
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Just looking at it on first glance I would say do something with your header, and give yourself margins on both sides.
Forum: Copywriting 2nd July 2010, 11:38 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Collette
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Here's your first problem:

[copy taken from your site]



Problem:
Your letter copy is about one thing; your product contents are about another; and - the killer - your product name...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd July 2010, 11:37 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Jo_Shua
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

The big header graphic adds no value to your sales letter. Are there some successful sales letters which use graphic headers? Yes. Mostly these are graphic headers which adds value to the sales...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd July 2010, 11:06 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By activetrader
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

From a consumer (I am a parent myself), I do not understand what your page is about until I read the whole thing. Your headline tells me absolutely nothing and I would not read any further. You need...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd July 2010, 08:53 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By RentItNow
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Yes tested many times. FREE Video: How To Rent Your House Now. House For Rent Secrets REVEALED! (http://www.howtorentyourhousenow.com/) used to have a smaller header and got rid of. Had another one...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd July 2010, 04:05 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By Dean Jackson
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

You should space your copy out more, and use red headlines.

I agree with the above suggestions too, especially the belcher button.

If you are going to write a story, also write about how...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 2nd July 2010, 12:10 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 485
Posted By DrewG
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Looks good man, not bad for a first sales page.

Few things that I would personally change:

1.) Put the text into a center container (what Kevin said above) Look at this site...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 1st July 2010, 11:24 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 485
Posted By reynoldscorb
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

I like what you have going here. Color scheme looks good. I would recommend centering everything. I just like to see everything clean cut in the middle of the page, but that's just my opinion.
Forum: Copywriting 1st July 2010, 11:13 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,349
Posted By RentItNow
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

Get rid of the ugly header (Website Graphics - Website Headers Suck! (http://ezinearticles.com/?Website-Graphics---Website-Headers-Suck!&id=3997929)).

You need a more compelling headline and...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 1st July 2010, 11:11 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 485
Posted By Kevin AKA Hubcap
Re: First sales page - needs a critique from the experienced

I'm not much of a copywriter but I'll throw my hat in the ring.

Let's start with the page design/formatting. Try putting everything in a container no more than 800px wide and centering that...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 29th January 2009, 08:48 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 721
Posted By tscott_87
Re: 800+ visitors/month 50 click thrus 0 sales - can u help?

I meant the following:

Create another page that seems more like a sales page (or edit your current one to do this). Either try to get people to signup to an email list, or try to sell the product...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 28th January 2009, 08:58 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 721
Posted By muzzi
Re: 800+ visitors/month 50 click thrus 0 sales - can u help?

To be honest, after landing at your site, I didn't really know what to do next.

You have a goal in mind for the user (for them to click through to your affiliate links) but it's not obvious as a...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 28th January 2009, 08:56 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 721
Posted By tscott_87
Re: 800+ visitors/month 50 click thrus 0 sales - can u help?

Matt,

Firstly, I have to say that the search phrase "**** berry benefits" is more of a "research" term rather than a "buy" term. I would much rather be promoting a term like "get **** berry" or...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 28th January 2009, 08:51 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 721
Posted By Amitywill
Re: 800+ visitors/month 50 click thrus 0 sales - can u help?

Hey Matt like the site design. Here's what I think may help.

1) For a start 50 clickthroughs really isn't enough to be making assumptions. Wait until you have a few hundred clickthroughs atleast...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 28th January 2009, 08:51 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 721
Posted By locke
Re: 800+ visitors/month 50 click thrus 0 sales - can u help?

Hey Matt,

Just dropped by your site and I had the following suggestions :

1.) Show a full post on your homepage rather than an blurb... If I was a potential customer I would look at the...
Showing results 1 to 21 of 21

 
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