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Search: Posts Made By: Paul Clifford
Forum: Internet Marketing Product Reviews & Ratings 22nd July 2013, 05:28 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 7,522
Posted By Phillip M King
Re: Kudani Content Machine Delivered?

16,000 customers = Well Done Paul!
Forum: Internet Marketing Product Reviews & Ratings 20th July 2013, 05:59 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 7,522
Posted By Leadzguy
Re: Kudani Content Machine Delivered?

I have just about everything Paul has brought to the market. There are 2 main reasons for this: he has products that aren't just hype they actually do the job and make your life easier and one thing...
Forum: Copywriting 27th May 2010, 12:58 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 848
Posted By MouseandMice
Re: Would anyone mind critiquing my sales page!

Use some Johnson boxes to break things up... it is insanely hard to pick up on anything-- just a lot of white space and regular sized black text...
Forum: Copywriting 26th May 2010, 06:30 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 848
Posted By Daniel Scott
Re: Would anyone mind critiquing my sales page!

You need to agitate the fear a LOT more.

Think of the news... "Next, the common household chemical that will KILL YOUR CHILDREN!"

The way you've presented the argument at the moment is weak....
Forum: Copywriting 26th May 2010, 05:47 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 848
Posted By travlinguy
Re: Would anyone mind critiquing my sales page!

I think you're off to a good start. Make the text left justified, not centered. I think your headline is okay but could be better. Remember, you're not writing for the IM crowd so it doesn't have to...
Forum: Copywriting 26th May 2010, 04:46 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 848
Posted By 48dayscoach
Re: Would anyone mind critiquing my sales page!

Hi Paul... here are a few thoughts.

First… why should I listen to you? What are your qualifications to talk to me about internet security? What are the credibility factors? What have you...
Forum: Copywriting 26th May 2010, 04:01 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 848
Posted By Ashley Gable
Re: Would anyone mind critiquing my sales page!

Well it is kind of weak all over. Your headline isnt going to cut it.

Here is a part that is not very good either:



Only some of the most up to date info? I dont get all of it? No matter...
Forum: Copywriting 26th May 2010, 03:56 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 848
Posted By Andrew Gould
Re: Would anyone mind critiquing my sales page!

Hi Paul,

The formatting's a bit sloppy. Your whole headline and deck copy looks very messy, you want to trim quite a bit of it.

Your prehead doesn't sound quite right, try something to...
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