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Search: Posts Made By: TjarkHartmann
Forum: Copywriting 2nd January 2016, 08:42 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 533
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Do you need the "Are you" or "Do you" in a headline?

With all due respect, allow me to smack this crippling disease out of you right now:

Shorter headlines do NOT always convert better.

Can they? Sure.

It all depends on how many words you need...
Forum: Copywriting 17th November 2015, 12:29 PM
Replies: 43
Views: 1,846
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Read some books. Want to learn more.

The Gary Halbert Letter (
Forum: Copywriting 14th November 2015, 09:19 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,180
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: is your copywriting client gonna be a pain in the A$$?

I would be interested as to why these are warning signs, because some are counter intuitive.

Like, I can vouch for #4, but common sense would tell you different.

So what is the psychology...
Forum: Copywriting 14th October 2015, 05:28 PM
Replies: 44
Views: 1,854
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: What's the difference between "persuasion" and "manipulation"?

I agree with you, it's a fact that there are other reasons people are overweight. (Which was also in my original post.)

And I also believe that the responsibility lies with people who buy and...
Forum: Copywriting 15th September 2015, 03:41 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 1,781
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Donald Trump Surge Thanks To Copywriting?

If you enjoy listening to Donald Trump (political views aside) then you would love the book "Words That Work" by Frank Luntz.

Great read for anyone interested in the power of individual words,...
Forum: Copywriting 16th August 2015, 01:25 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,795
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Worried that my first direct mail was a

Let me clear something up: I wasn't blown back by the idea of a seminar for marketing purposes.

It was the idea to use a seminar to begin your freelance copywriting career.... The thought process...
Forum: Copywriting 15th August 2015, 06:28 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,795
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: I wonder....

When I first looked at your idea, I had to step back a little bit.

Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

I think it has something to do with two things that Jay Abraham, Dan Pena, and all...
Forum: Copywriting 2nd August 2015, 08:38 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,107
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Ad Blooper: How They Failed To See The Obvious...

This debate looks like it's being fueled by some confusion about what sleep apnea actually is.

Let me throw down some knowledge that could help.... before going at the headline.

A person with...
Forum: Copywriting 18th July 2015, 08:03 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 2,241
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: My Sales Page

I admire your persistence and how quickly you try to use the advice here.

That being said, I think you need to re-do the whole page... IF there is even a market for this, like sir copy nazi said....
Forum: Copywriting 15th July 2015, 03:59 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 2,241
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: My Sales Page

I'm curious...

Is this a book on fixing an already made cake? Or on "How To Bake The Perfect Cake"?
Forum: Copywriting 20th June 2015, 07:37 PM
Replies: 86
Views: 5,758
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: 4 postcards mailed, which was the winner?

The more I think about WHY someone would want to get rid of ALL mosquitos versus using other, cheaper do it yourself methods, the more I want to change my answer to #4.

Postcard 4 gave a new,...
Forum: Copywriting 19th June 2015, 06:36 PM
Replies: 86
Views: 5,758
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: 4 postcards mailed, which was the winner?

What's on my mind is if #4 did do the best, did it also do the best in terms of people calling for another treatment?

Considering it created a need that seems to be short-term and in the...
Forum: Copywriting 19th June 2015, 05:16 PM
Replies: 86
Views: 5,758
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: 4 postcards mailed, which was the winner?

I would say #1 for a couple of reasons...

1. The company contact information on the top right is really easy to spot, and makes it possible to reply right when convinced and not hunt for the...
Forum: Copywriting 14th April 2015, 02:07 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 2,201
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: An S in a headline pulls 3x more sales

Thank you so much for sharing.

For me, little things like this are the most interesting aspects of copywriting -- and the most valuable, too.
Forum: Copywriting 14th April 2015, 01:58 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,596
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Beginners email your views please

He does offer the solution after the question. Is it clear enough? I believe so.

Free and no obligation aren't the same thing. You can pay for something with no obligation i.e. no contract....
Forum: Copywriting 27th March 2015, 07:56 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,855
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: My First Sales Letter - Does it Pass?

Looking past the great points Ewen and Angie made...

A big hole in the actual copy is the headline sets up a "retired widow" story yet there's nothing about her mentioned in the body.
Forum: Copywriting 18th March 2015, 11:08 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,882
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Question To All Copywriting Warriors!!

You should take a look at Gary Halbert's 30 day guide to becoming a copywriter.

You can find it here. (

P.S. The...
Forum: Copywriting 8th March 2015, 08:00 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,201
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Psychology/sales books on words?

If you're looking for getting the most impact out of your writing, The Elements of Style by William Strunk and On Writing Well by William Zinsser are great reads.

As for persuasion, I recommend...
Forum: Copywriting 22nd February 2015, 01:42 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,770
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Brutalize my landing page

Here's a couple things I believe will help you:

You're focusing too much on "I". I will do this. I can do that. I'm different than this. You can easily switch these sentences into what they will...
Forum: Copywriting 6th February 2015, 01:08 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,173
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Seeking Advice on Headline for Free Event

These are all really generic.

From the limited information we have to go on I'd say your best is using "1 in 2 people"... make it personal... emotional... urgent... realistic.
Forum: Copywriting 30th January 2015, 10:21 PM
Replies: 37
Views: 2,713
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Please critque my video script and landing page copy

Right when I looked at your page I had to double take the headline because "Sick of Wasting" "Time Job Hunting?"... made me wonder what the hell Time Job Hunting is. Might be a good idea to put "Sick...
Forum: Copywriting 30th June 2014, 08:53 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 2,258
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Copyediting Tips Please

Some great advice here, I'll add a little something I learned from Gary Halbert:

People overuse "that"... go through, find "that's", delete them, and rephrase the sentence. It flows better.

Forum: Copywriting 19th June 2014, 07:28 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,649
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: "Email Cocaine" Critique...

Hahaha that was too funny!
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 18th June 2014, 08:52 PM
Replies: 61
Views: 3,188
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: Is it really possible to earn 10,000 $ a day through internet marketing

Look, it's possible. BUT -- like anything in life -- to be successful depends on how hard you work at it.

If you're into internet marketing to make 5-10k a month within the first couple months,...
Forum: Conversion Rate Optimization 16th June 2014, 08:03 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 3,239
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: 262 clicks, no registrations, what is wrong with my page?

The biggest problem is when you land on the page the first thing you see is a giant buddha picture. That right there would be enough to make me click away.

Wait a second... the picture has nothing...
Forum: Main Internet Marketing Discussion Forum 7th June 2014, 04:49 PM
Replies: 94
Views: 4,013
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: what a waste of time

I'm not a war room member (though I'm debating it) and I'm not an expert in anything internet marketing, yet.

That being said, I have found this forum invaluable.

There's great information if...
Forum: Copywriting 27th May 2014, 11:07 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 642
Posted By TjarkHartmann
Re: High Traffic Low Conversion Help Needed

The vocabulary is way too high for this type of market.

The headlines don't cut it. A lot of people skim the copy, looking for interesting headlines and ready the copy under it. For example anyone...
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