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Gemini9 2nd August 2010 09:15 AM

Content: How to Raise a Purple Cow - Top 5 Must-dos
 
How to Raise a PURPLE COW*:

Top 5 Must-dos

1. Intelligent interaction: Do treat her like a member of the family. This premium breed of ungulates imagines itself at the same cognitive level as humans, at the very least.

2. Nipple grease: Only pure beeswax with a dribble of olive oil. Don’t attempt to fool her with baby oil, Vaseline or your favourite knuckle salve – unless you don’t mind a hoof print on your face.

3. Feeding: Banana and papaya peels before sunrise; napier grass at sunset; a fresh square of paddock during daylight hours – preferably free of yesterday’s dung heaps.

4. Naming: Absolutely must name each cow and only on the fortnight morning of its birth. However, avoid names derived from plant, insect or bird species. Select strong names such as mountain ranges, monarchs or your favourite mistress.

5. Bells: Only the alpha Purple Cow can wear ‘The Bell’, which must be carved from goblin oak, birch or willow – that's if you can bamboozle the trolls that guard access to the enchanted forests.

Keep to these rules and you’re guaranteed a healthy Purple Cow, peace in your farmyard and copious quantities of fresh milk with the faintest scent of lavender.


*From the Almanac of Freddie the Farmer, Expert Purple Cow Breeder, part-time vicar and thrice winner of the _ County Fair’s ‘Exotic Breeds & Beasts’ contest.


* * *

Hi Warrior Forum members,


I’m a newbie to the world of internet marketing and fancy myself a writer of sorts. I’d like to try my hand at Article Writing Services but need to build up my credentials, client base and other essential bits so that I can start making some money!



Qualifications: Featured Ezine expert author; excellent grades in IELTS, TOEFL and some other exam I can’t recall; 30+ years of speaking, reading, writing and dreaming in English.


Special Newbie offer: Offering 1 free article on a topic of your choice to the first five people who request my services, in return for good reviews … and hopefully paid business.



See other Sample Articles (on more sensible topics!) and prices on my URL: Gemini Writes Article Services Feel free to PM – although it would be great if you could also leave a comment on this page.


Cheers!

PS: Freddie and his Purple Cows are entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, places or events is completely coincidental and highly regretted.

PTaubman 3rd August 2010 06:31 AM

Re: Content: How to Raise a Purple Cow - Top 5 Must-dos
 
Greetings! Just sent you a PM! I hope I am in the first 5 ;-)

I love the fact that you dream in English!

Thanks!


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