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Unread 15th Apr 2009, 03:05 PM   #1
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⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - Landing Page Copywriter ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Bit of background. I started doing WSOs here a month back. Started with a $10 offer to re-write your landing page. I was testing the waters, as it were. As you can imagine I was swamped with guys wanting their sh*tty LPs cleaned up. But a deal is a deal so away I went and did that. More than often gave them a new concept, rewrote the Heads and copy, suggested layout changes - even steered them towards using video and other techniques. It was a lot of work in some cases. Obviously worth a lot more than ten shekels. But what the hell. Got me on the board. But unfortunately it also attracted a bit of "pond-life" - Penis Enlargement sites, Get All Your Google Adwords Free rip-offs, Farts4Gas - that kind of sh*t.

So the second round I jacked my prices to $100 a landing page. Yeah shocking isn't it - the prices these days! Anyway the clients improved and I took on a LOT of work. Trouble is - some of these guys expected quite a bit for their hundred smackers. One guy even expected me to change his design - not just suggest changes - actually go in to his code and have a fiddle. He was most upset when I pointed out I was just the writer and he'd need to get himself a designer. Here's part of his email -

Well, wait, what will you actually do? What do you mean you'll just write the copy?

Are you going to send me a .doc file with paragraphs of text and that's it? You're not going to touch up the actual html file?

You said I was going to "cream my pants" for what you would do. I assumed you were going to work on the actual .html file itself and make it 250% better.
Yes...I just write the copy. Pretty important part of the process. I don't design and I don't code. I can do a little of both but its not my area of expertise. I write copy - words that motivate people to buy. Thats what I do. Thats what I've been doing for more years than I care to remember. I'm rather good at it. Oh then this cat replies...

If you're simply going to type some content into a MS Word DOC and email it to me, I'm not interested in the service.

You wrote me an excellent presentation on what needed to be changed. OK, I was impressed and I thought you were going to make those changes to the current index.html page.

Now based on your below comments, it's like you're going to make me no more than an article and I have to figure out on my own where to place things on the page?
There goes a brilliant mind.

So campers here's what I'm offering. I don't want to attract any more flakes or people who think all I do is "write copy in a DOC file". My normal book-rate is minimum $300 per page of copy. Even if the sucker only has five words on it. Sometimes I charge more. Especially if I don't like your face or think you a pretentious pr*ck. (can I say that here?)

My current price - and I suppose I'll have to amend my other WSOs - is a shocking, completely over-the-top
$100 per landing page or squeeze page. Isn't that OUTRAGEOUS! But its still two hundred dollars cheaper than what I charge every other B out there. I can't take on any more work this week or next - taking my children to Provence for a break. But after that I look forward to working with people who recognise my talents and recognise what Hot Copy can do for your sales.

BTW...I've also got a Video Squeeze Page WSO running. Check it out -

Now...without any further ado...I present for your edification and amusement -

"The Soupçon Nazi" (apologies to Jerry Seinfeld)

ELAINE: Boy, I'm in the mood for a hamburger.

JERRY: No. We gotta go to the Soupçon place.

ELAINE: What Soupçon place?

GEORGE: Oh, there's a Soupçon stand, Kramer's been going there.

JERRY: He's always raving. I finally got a chance to go there the other day, and I tell you this, you will be stunned.

ELAINE: Stunned by a Soupçon stand?

JERRY: You can't watch these Soupçons standing up, your knees buckle.

ELAINE: Huh. All right. Come on.

JERRY: There's only one caveat -- the guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He's secretly referred to as the Soupçon Nazi.

ELAINE: Why? What happens if you don't order right?

JERRY: He yells and you don't get your squeeze page.


JERRY: Just follow the ordering procedure and you'll be fine.

GEORGE: All right. All right. Let's - let's go over that again.

JERRY: All right. As you walk in the place move immediately to your right.


JERRY: The main thing is to keep the line moving.

GEORGE: All right. So, you hold out your money, speak your order in a loud, clear voice, step to the left and receive.

JERRY: Right. It's very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.

ELAINE: Oh, boy, I'm really scared!

JERRY: Elaine.

(They stop outside a junk shop)

ELAINE: All right. Jerry, that's enough now about the Soupçon Nazi. Whoa! Wow! Look at this. You know what this is? This is an antique armoire. Wow! It's French. Armoire.

JERRY: Ar-moire.

ELAINE: How much is this?

FURNITURE GUY: I was asking 250, but you got a nice face. 2 even.

ELAINE: Huh? Ha. 200. You know, I've always wanted one of these things.

JERRY: He gave you the nice face discount.

ELAINE: Yeah. All right. You guys go ahead.

JERRY: What about the squeeze page?

ELAINE: I'm getting an armoire, Jerry.

JERRY: [in French accent] Pardon.

(At Soupçon Nazi's)

GEORGE: This line is huge.

JERRY: It's like this all the time.

GEORGE: Isn't that that Bania guy?

JERRY: Oh, no. It is. Just be still.

GEORGE: Whoop! Too late. I think he picked up the scent.

BANIA: Hey, Jerry! I didn't know you liked hard copy.

JERRY: Hard to believe.

BANIA: This guy makes the best squeeze page in the city, Jerry. The best. You know what they call him? Soupçon Nazi.

JERRY: Shhhhh! All right, Bania, I - I'm not letting you cut in line.

BANIA: Why not?

JERRY: Because if he catches us, we'll never be able to get a squeeze page or landing page again.

BANIA: Okay. Okay.

GEORGE: The Special Squeeze.

JERRY: Full Enchilada.

GEORGE: I didn't get any copy.

JERRY: Just forget it. Let it go.

GEORGE: Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my copy.

SOUPCON NAZI: Copy -- $200 extra.

GEORGE: $200? But everyone in front of me got free copy.

SOUPCON NAZI: You want copy?

GEORGE: Yes, please.



SOUPCON NAZI: No squeeze for you! [snaps fingers]

(cashier takes George's squeeze page and gives him back his money)

(Later...back at the apartment...Jerry is devouring his Full Enchilada Landing Page.)

JERRY: Oh, man. Ohh! This is fantastic. How does he do it?

GEORGE: You know, I don't see how you can sit there watching that and not even offer me any?

JERRY: I gave you a look. What do you want?

GEORGE: Why can't we share?

JERRY: I told you not to say anything. You can't go in there, brazenly flaunt the rules and then think I'm gonna share with you!

GEORGE: Do you hear yourself?

JERRY: I'm sorry. This is what comes from living under a Nazi regime.

GEORGE: Well, I gotta go back there and try again. Hi Sheila.

(Sheila enters...

SHEILA: Hi. Hi shmoopy.

JERRY: Hi shmoopy.

SHEILA: No, you're a shmoopy!

JERRY: You're a shmoopy!

GEORGE: I'm going.

JERRY: Hey, listen, so we'll meet you and Susan at the movie tonight?

GEORGE: You know what? I changed my mind. I, uh, I don't think so.


GEORGE: I just don't feel like it anymore.

JERRY: Just like that?

GEORGE: Just like that.

(George leaves...

SHEILA: Boy, he's a weird guy, isn't he?

(Kramer enters)



KRAMER: [taking Jerry's couch cushion] Yeah.

JERRY: Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Whoa -- what are you doing?

KRAMER: Yeah. Elaine, she has to leave her armoire on the street all night...I'm gonna guard it for her. I need something to sit on.

JERRY: Well, sit on one of your couch cushions.

KRAMER: Yeah, but this is so nice and thick.

(Kramer joins Elaine on the street)

KRAMER: Ahoy there!

ELAINE: Oh, Kramer! Thank God. I really appreciate you doing this.

KRAMER: Yeah. Well, you ask for it, you got it.

ELAINE: Do you need anything?

KRAMER: Well, a nice squeeze page would hit the spot.

ELAINE: squeeze page?

KRAMER: Yeah. An opt-in. Simmered to perfection by one of the great squeeze page artisans in the modern era.

ELAINE: Oh! Who? The Soupçon Nazi?

KRAMER: He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.

ELAINE: All right. I'll be back.

KRAMER: Wait a second. You don't even know how to order.

ELAINE: Oh, no. No. No. No. I got it. PayPal right?

KRAMER: No. No, Elaine!

(George joins them)

ELAINE: Hey, I got it. (turning to George) Hey. Didn't you already get a squeeze?

GEORGE: No. I didn't get it.

ELAINE: Why? What happened?

GEORGE: I made a mistake.

ELAINE: [laughing]

GEORGE: All right. Well, we'll see what happens to you.

ELAINE: Yeah. No. Listen, George, I am quite certain I'm walking out of there with a Big Squeeze or maybe a Killer Landing Page.

GEORGE: Yeah. Hey, let ask you something. Is it just me, or - or do you find it unbearable to be around Jerry and that girl?

ELAINE: Oh, I know! It's awful!

GEORGE: Why do they have to do that in front of people?

ELAINE: I don't know.

GEORGE: What is that with the shmoopy?


GEORGE: The shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy, shmmopy, shmoopy!

ELAINE: Ohh! Stop it! I know.

GEORGE: I had to listen to a five minute discussion on which one is actually called shmoopy.


GEORGE: And I cancelled plans to go to the movies with them tonight.

ELAINE: You know, we should say something.

GEORGE: You know, we absolutely should.

ELAINE: I mean, why does he do that? Doesn't he know what a huge turnoff that is?

GEORGE: I don't know. He can be so weird sometimes.


GEORGE: I still haven't figured him out.

ELAINE: No. Me neither.

GEORGE: All right. Shh! I gotta focus. I'm shifting into squeeze page mode.

ELAINE: Oh, God!

(They step up to the counter to order)

GEORGE: Good afternoon. One large squeeze page to go. With copy.

SOUPCON NAZI: You're pushing your luck little man.

GEORGE: Sorry. Thank you.

ELAINE: Hi there. Um, uh -- [drumming on countertop] Oh! Oh! Oh! One little squeeze and, um.... what is that right there? Is that a video squeeze page?


ELAINE: Never been a big fan. [coughing] know what? Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, " Scent Of A Woman." Who-ah! Who-ah!

SOUPCON NAZI: Very good. Very good.

ELAINE: Well, I --

SOUPCON NAZI: You know something?


SOUPCON NAZI: No squeeze for you!


SOUPCON NAZI: Come back one year! Next!

Meanwhile...on the street...

RAY: Look at this.

BOB: It's an antique.

RAY: It's all hand made and I love the in-lay.

BOB: Yes. Yes. me, too. Ay, it's gorgeous. Completely. Pick it up. No. No. Pick it up from the bottom over there.

KRAMER: Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you doing?

BOB: What does it look like we're doing? We're taking this.

KRAMER: You can't take this. This belongs to a friend of mine.

BOB: Look, you wanna get hurt?


BOB: I don't think you wanna get hurt. Because if you wanna get hurt I can hurt you. Now, just back off.

RAY: Bob.

BOB: Just pick it up.

KRAMER: What is this, huh?

BOB: You have some kind of problem here? What is it you not understanding? We taking the armoire and that's all there is to it. Okay?

ELAINE: I mean, is he allowed to do this? It's discrimination! I'm gonna call the states' attorney office. I really am.

GEORGE: Oh, this is fabulous. My God Elaine, you have to see this.

ELAINE: All right. All right. Give me a look. Mmm! Oh God, I gotta sit down. What happened? Where's my armoire?

KRAMER: Well, b -- it was stolen.

ELAINE: Wha--?

KRAMER: These street toughs, they robbed me.

ELAINE: Street toughs took my armoire?

KRAMER: Yeah. It was very frightening. My life was in danger. You should've seen the way they talked to me.

ELAINE: I can't believe this!

KRAMER: Well, where's the squeeze page?

ELAINE: Wha -- the Soupçon Nazi threw me out.

KRAMER: Oh...yeah!

(Jerry & Sheila in the Soupçon Nazi line...

JERRY: What are you gonna get?

SHEILA: I'll decide at the last minute.

JERRY: You better decide, sister. You're on deck. Sheila!

(Soupçon Nazi pounding on countertop)

JERRY: Uh-oh.

SOUPCON NAZI: Hey, what is this? You're kissing in my line? Nobody kisses in my line!

SHEILA: I can kiss anywhere I want to.

SOUPCON NAZI: You just cost yourself a squeeze!

SHEILA: How dare you? Come on, Jerry, we're leaving. Jerry?

JERRY: Do I know you?

(Back at Jerry's apartment...

ELAINE: So, essentially, you chose a squeeze page over a woman?

JERRY: It was a The Special squeeze page.

ELAINE: Yeah. You know what I just realized? Suddenly, George has become much more normal than you.

JERRY: Really?

ELAINE: Yeah. Come on. I mean, think about it. He's engaged to be married. Your top priority is squeeze pages.

JERRY: Have you seen the squeeze pages?

ELAINE: Yeah. All right. You made the right decision.

JERRY: See, the way I figure it, it's much easier to patch things up with Sheila than with the Soupçon Nazi.

(Kramer enters ...





JERRY: Oh, thanks.

ELAINE: There he is.

KRAMER: Elaine, I'm really sorry about the armoire.

ELAINE: Yeah. I know. Me, too.

JERRY: So, did these thieves want any money?


JERRY: They just wanted the armoire?

KRAMER: Yeah. They were..quite taken with it.

(intercom buzzes)

JERRY: Yeah?

GEORGE: Hup! Hup!

JERRY: Hey, have you noticed George is acting a little strange lately?

ELAINE: No. In what way?

JERRY: I don't know. A lot of attitude, like he's better than me, or something.

ELAINE: I don't think George has ever thought he's better than anybody.

(George enters...

GEORGE: Hello.

JERRY: Hello.


GEORGE: Hello.

ELAINE: Hello.

GEORGE: Were you just talking about me? What's going on?

JERRY: Absolutely not.

GEORGE: Something's going on here.

KRAMER: All right, [claps hands] I'm gonna go get some squeeze.

(Kramer leaves...)

ELAINE: One of these days that guy is gonna get his.

GEORGE: So, how was the movie?

JERRY: Aw, we didn't go. Sheila and I are kind of on the outs.

GEORGE: Oh, yeah?

JERRY: Yeah. Wha - wha - what are you, happy?

GEORGE: Happy? Why should I be happy?

JERRY: I don't know, but you look like you're happy.

GEORGE: Why should I care?

JERRY: You can't fool me. Don't insult me, George because I know when you're happy.

GEORGE: All right. I am happy, and I'll tell ya why - because the two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick! Right, Elaine?

(Elaine sneaks out of Jerry's apartment)

JERRY: Is that so?

GEORGE: Yeah. Yeah. With all that kissing and the shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy out in public like that. It's disgusting!

JERRY: Disgusting?

GEORGE: People who do that should be arrested.

JERRY: Well, I guess I have all the more reason to get back with her.

GEORGE: Ye - yeah. And we had a pact, you know.

JERRY: What?

GEORGE: You shook my hand in that coffee shop.

JERRY: You're still with the pact?

GEORGE: Mmm-hmm. You reneged.

JERRY: All I did was shake your hand.

GEORGE: Ah-ha!

(Back at the Soupçon nazi's...

KRAMER: And then they just ran off with the armoire, just like that.

SOUPCON NAZI: Ohh! This city.

NEWMAN: One Large Landing Page, please.

SOUPCON NAZI: So, continue.

KRAMER: Well, my friend is awful disappointed is all. You know, she's very emotional.

NEWMAN: Thank you. [inhaling deeply] Jambalaya!

SOUPCON NAZI: All right, now listen to me. You have been a good friend. I have an armoire in my basement. If you want to pick it up, you're welcome to it. So, take it, it's yours.

KRAMER: How can I possibly thank you?

SOUPCON NAZI: You are the only one who understands me.

KRAMER: You suffer for your squeezes.

SOUPCON NAZI: Yes. That is right.

KRAMER: You demand perfection from yourself, from your squeeze pages – and your Landing Pages.

SOUPCON NAZI: How can I tolerate any less from my customer?

CUSTOMER: Uh, squeezio, por favor.

SOUPCON NAZI: Squeezio por favor?

CUSTOMER: Um, I'm part Spanish.

SOUPCON NAZI: Adios muchacho!


(Jerry & Sheila making up in the diner)

JERRY: It was stupid of me.

SHEILA: Well, it was very insulting.

JERRY: No. I know. I - I was really sort of half-kidding.

SHEILA: Well, behind every joke there's some truth.

JERRY: What about that Bavarian cream pie joke I told you? There's no truth to that. Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don't have it he says "Aw, I'll just have some coffee." There's no truth to that.

SHEILA: Well, I guess you're right.

JERRY: So, am I forgiven, shmoopy?

SHEILA: Yes, shmoopy.


(Susan & George walk in)

SUSAN: Hey, Jerry!

JERRY: Oh, hi Susan, George. You remember Sheila.

GEORGE: Oh, yes. Hello.

SHEILA: Hello. Won't you join us?

GEORGE: No, thanks.

SUSAN: Of course.

GEORGE: Yes. Well -- So, uh, sit on the same side at a booth, huh?

JERRY: Yeah. That's right. You got a problem?

GEORGE: I, uh, just think it's a little unusual. Two people to sit on one side...and leave the other side empty.

JERRY: Well, we're changing the rules.

GEORGE: Ahh. Good for you.

SUSAN: Aw, what are you getting George?

GEORGE: I don't know, honey. What do you want to get? [in babying voice] I want you to get anything you want...'cause I love you so much. I want you to be happy. Okay, sweetie?

SUSAN: Oh, George, you're so sweet.

GEORGE: Well, I could be a little sweetie tweetie weetie weetie.


JERRY: What about you, shmoopy? How 'bout a little tuna? You want a little tuna fishy?


JERRY: Yum yum little tuna fishy?

GEORGE: Come here.

[George & Susan begin making out; Jerry & Sheila begin making out in order to keep up]

(Kramer at Elaine's apartment)

KRAMER: And..voila!

ELAINE: [gasps]


ELAINE: Oh! Oh, I love it! I absolutely love it!

KRAMER: Yeah. Did the K Man do it or did the K Man do it?

ELAINE: The K Man did it!


ELAINE: [laughing] How much did you pay for this thing?

KRAMER: How 'bout zero?



ELAINE: What? Who's was it? Where'd you get it?

KRAMER: I'll tell ya where I got it. I got it from the guy you so callously refer to as the Soupçon Nazi.

ELAINE: Get out!

[Elaine pushes on Kramer's chest, causing in to fall backwards through her swinging door]

ELAINE: The Soupçon Nazi gave it to you?



KRAMER: Well, I told him the whole story and he just let me have it. Wha -- Yeah. He's a wonderful man.

ELAINE: [gasps]

KRAMER: Yeah. Well, a little bit misunderstood but, uh....

ELAINE: Well, I'm just gonna go down there and personally thank him. I mean, I had this guy all wrong. This is wonderful!

KRAMER: Yeah. Well, he's a dear.

(Meanwhile back at the diner)

GEORGE: How much tip do you leave on $8.15?

SUSAN: You know sweetie, I just want you to know that I was so proud of you today expressing your feelings so freely in front of Jerry and all. Just knowing that you're not afraid of those things is such a great step forward in our relationship.


SUSAN: [in babying voice] Because you love your little kiki don't you?

(Soupçon Nazi Stand)

CUSTOMER: How is he today?

BANIA: I think he's in a good mood.

ELAINE: Hi. You know, Kramer gave me the armoire and it is so beautiful. I'm mean, I just can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

SOUPCON NAZI: You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him in the first place! I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces! Now, who wants a landing page or a Squeeze? Next! Speak up!

(Jerry & Kramer in the street...

JERRY: I'm heading over to Elaine's.

KRAMER: Oh. Jerry, those are the guys that mugged me for the armoire.

JERRY: Those two?


JERRY: Are you sure?

KRAMER: Yeah. That's them.

JERRY: Well, let's confront 'em.

KRAMER: No. No. No. No. Let's get a cop.

JERRY: There's no cops around. They're gonna leave. Come on.


JERRY: Let's go.

(Bob & Ray window-shopping)

BOB: Oh, wow look, that one is gorgeous. I would just kill for that one.

RAY: Oh, not in blue. Blue does not go with all.

BOB: Oh, please. Do you know what you're talking about? Because I don't think you know what you're talking about. Take a look at that.

KRAMER: Excuse me.

RAY: Are you talking to me?

KRAMER: Uh, well, uh, we --

RAY: I said, are you talking to me?

BOB: Well, maybe, he was talking to me. Was you talking to him? Because you was obviously talking to one of us. So what is it? Who?! Who was you talking to?!

KRAMER: Well, wha -- I, uh -- uh, we were kind of, uh, talking to each other, weren't we?

[Jerry & Kramer turn around and run away]

(Elaine's place)

ELAINE: I mean, you know, I've never been so insulted in my entire life. There's something really wrong with this man. He is a Soupçon Nazi. What? What is that?

JERRY: I don't know. "5 cups chopped letters, half a cup of typeface, 3 pounds of copy, chopped headlines..."

ELAINE: Let me see this. [gasps] You know what this is? This is a recipe for Killer Landing Page, and look at this. There are like thirty different recipes. These are his recipes!


ELAINE: So? So, his secret's out. Don't you see? I could give these to every copywriter in town. I could have 'em published! I could - I could drop fliers from a plane above the city.

JERRY: Wait a second, Elaine. Where do you think you're going?

ELAINE: What do you care?

JERRY: Elaine, I don't want you causing any trouble down at that soupçon stand. I happen to love that guy's copy.

ELAINE: Get out of my way, Jerry.

JERRY: Elaine, let the man make write his copy!

ELAINE: Don't make me hurt you, Jerry.

(Meanwhile Susan & George shopping)

SUSAN: Look, they have it in blue...for my baby bluey. Are you my baby bluey?

GEORGE: Oh, yes. I - I'm your baby bluey.

(They run into Jerry...

JERRY: Well. Well.

SUSAN: Hi, Jerry.

JERRY: Hey, Susan, George.

SUSAN: You know, I really like Sheila a lot.

JERRY: Oh, really?

SUSAN: Mmm-hmm.

JERRY: Because we're kind of not seeing each other anymore.

SUSAN: Oh, no! That's too bad.

JERRY: Yeah. Well, she was very affectionate - which I love. You know I love that - but mentally, we couldn't quite make the connection.

GEORGE: Really?

JERRY: Yeah. Too bad, 'cause you gotta have the affection - which you obviously have. I think it's great that you're so open with your affections in public. See, we had that.

SUSAN: Mmm-hmm.

GEORGE: You did?

JERRY: Oh, yeah. But the mental thing. But anyway. I'll see ya.

GEORGE: Yeah. See ya.

(Soupçon Nazi stand)

SOUPCON NAZI: Go on! Leave! Get out!

WOMAN: But I didn't do anything.


ELAINE: Hello.

SOUPCON NAZI: You. You think you can get some Hot Copy? Please. You're wasting everyone's time.

ELAINE: I don't want copy. I can make my own Killer Landing Page. "5 cups chopped letters, half a cup of typeface, 3 pounds of copy, chopped headlines..."

SOUPCON NAZI: That's my recipe for Killer Landing Page.

ELAINE: Yeah, that's right. I got 'em all. Video Squeeze Page, Emails, Killer Copy.

SOUPCON NAZI: Killer Copy?

ELAINE: You're through Soupçon Nazi. Pack it up. No more copy for you. Next!

(Newman at Jerry's apartment)

NEWMAN: [panting] Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

JERRY: What is it?

NEWMAN: Something's happened with the Soupçon Nazi!

JERRY: Wha - wha - what's the matter?

NEWMAN: Elaine's down there causing all kinds of commotion. Somehow she got a hold of his recipes and she says she's gonna drive him out of business! The Soupçon Nazi said that now that his recipes are out, he's not gonna write anymore copy! He's moving out of the country, moving to Argentina! No more copy, Jerry! No more for of us!

(Newman goes to leave)

JERRY: Well, where are you going?

NEWMAN: He's giving away what's left! I gotta go home and get a big bag.


And I bet that's the longest WSO you've ever seen here. Get your people to call my people if you want to do the Biz. Click Here ☛ Mal.

* "The Soup Nazi" is the title of the 116th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld, which was the 6th episode of the 7th season. It first aired in the United States on November 2, 1995 and is considered a classic episode of the series.
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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 04:59 AM   #2
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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That is indeed the longest WSO I've ever seen, Mal


I was fortunate to get in fairly early on one of Mal's copywriting WSOs.

I threw over a half-finished copy of my product, and a vague outline of what I wanted.

Mal did the rest...ahead of schedule...and it's FANTASTIC!

What separates Mal from other copywriters I've used before is that he has a healthy disregard for conventional copywriting 'wisdom' won't find any formulaic BS in his work.

He writes for the READER. He has a wonderful, conversational style, which effortlessly pulls the reader from first word to last - in an off-the-cuff, soft sell kind of way.

I'm fully expecting Mal's copy to convert like crazy in my niche.

Here's the deal - before you break the rules, you gotta know the rules. It's plain obvious that Mal knows what he's doing.

At $300 this would be a steal.

At $200...well, it's just too good to pass over.

Get on it before he starts charging his true worth, Warriors. may have noticed that Mal comes across in a no-nonsense...almost abrasive manner.

Pay no attention...he cares deeply about his reputation, and will do his utmost to help you out.

I know this for a fact.

Jump on this WSO. Now.

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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 06:15 AM   #3
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Using the word Nazi in your title or anywhere in your presentation is an absolute turnoff!
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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 06:25 AM   #4
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Originally Posted by Alton Hargrave View Post

Using the word Nazi in your title or anywhere in your presentation is an absolute turnoff!
So is your mugshot. You're obviously not a "Seinfeld" fan. In contemporary vernacular it pertains to "nazi - derogatory term for a person who is fanatically dedicated to, or seeks to control, some activity, practice, etc.derogation, disparagement, depreciation - a communication that belittles somebody or something
controller, restrainer - a person who directs and restrains."

So by that definition it could describe you. No offense. Its paraphrasing an EXTREMELY popular episode of Seinfeld - a "Classic Episode" of Seinfeld . Which you would have discovered if you'd bothered to read to the bottom.

Have a "noice" day, you hear.
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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 09:42 AM   #5
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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OK I can dig that we're not all readers. I can understand you're pushed for time. Or that you can't stand "Seinfeld". But why the buck are people emailing me asking what I do and what I charge? Do they not even read that far? Do they honestly expect me to start with "I'm a copywriter. I'll write your page for $200. Click here to order."??
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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 10:19 AM   #6
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Originally Posted by Metronicity View Post

So is your mugshot.


I vouch for Mal too.. revised one copy for me and i absolutely loved it!
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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 11:28 AM   #7
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Mal's style is awesome and it sure works. Buy his sh*t. I recommend it.

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Unread 16th Apr 2009, 12:31 PM   #8
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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I'm from Germany and I'm totally offended by your headline! You're a an insulting as#hole and I'm going to report you to the mods right now.

Ok I won't.

I contacted Metronicity to give me a couple of tips regarding my WSO sales letter and headline and he took the time to tell me that my headline sucks big time.

He gave me a couple of tips, which I implemented, and my Conversion Rate jumped through the roof!
He's the real deal, or like we say here, he's 'The Shit'.

He brings some fresh wind and he has mad skills. You should take advantage of his services as they're still ridiculously cheap.

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Unread 20th Apr 2009, 07:57 AM   #9
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Mal just finished up a landing page for me. I hate writing copy but can sure tell when a page is doing its job. His pages are tres sexy.

He figured out how to talk to my target market and made my copy compelling. He asked great questions to understand my product, my market and offered some advice that really got me to thinking and approach my product from a different angle.

Mal can be a bit "colorful" at times ( as you can tell from the above). So if you are super sensitive or super whiny, he may not be your guy.

If you want some kick-ass copy and good customer service without a bunch of bs - hire Mal.
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Unread 20th Apr 2009, 09:51 AM   #10
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - "Landing Pages" ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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Here's another comment from a launch I did last week for this site - Video Marketing and YouTube Marketing with Video Assassin

OK Just went through it in detail. Bottom line - Fantastic Work!
I really appreciate the hard work and you nailed it pal!
If you have any adjustments or tweaks, let me know, but all in all, I am ecstatic with it.
Have a great evening and have a beer (a real beer that is, none of that french crap) and toast yourself on a great job.
All the best,
Sean Donahue
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Unread 21st Apr 2009, 12:13 PM   #11
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Re: ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧ THE SOUPCON NAZI - Landing Page Copywriter ⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧⌧
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I vouch for Mal!! A thousand percent!!

He tells it like it is...He will steer you in the right direction.

He's not just gonna blow smoke up your ass. He gets the job done!

I designed my squeeze vid...did an awesome job!!

Your in good hands with this guy!!
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copywriting, im copy, landing pages, soup nazi, soupcon

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