A forward plan to tidy up and launch my new site please

I'm not really a fan of your design, i would suggest getting on fiverr and getting someone to design a website based on what your looking for, most cases you will find the look/design of your website will help sell your product.

Regards,
TopNetworks

Hi Bill,

Just checked out your site. The design may be a little bland, but it 's not a total deal breaker as far as I can see. (although, I'm not a web designer)

On the other hand... (how do I put this politely?) Your sales copy is NOT selling anything! (By copy I mean the written words, and the video sales message)

There's just nothing persuasive going on there. It appears that your targeting people who are just starting out with the adventure of owning a small business? Or people who are just thinking about it, but haven't started yet?

So now the questions beckon...

Why should I buy your program, over the millions of other similar programs? Why should I trust you? Why should I even want to start my own small business?



I personally don't prefer the copy that starts out drilling on pain points. But, with this type of product, it's probably warranted.

Start with a quick reminder about what the worlds economy was like just 10 short years ago, and how the economy is still extremely fragile (a house of cards really). And there's no longer any such thing as job security in this world. The only financial security (as far as a job goes) is owning your own small business.

"But you don't need to go it alone. My name is Bill and I've personally owned 30 small businesses. Through good times and bad. And now I'm here to teach you everything I've learned over the past 50 years. Etc. etc. etc...."

Then go on to paint a picture of how much better their life will be (for them, and their loved ones) once they own a successful small business

Get the point?


There's also a lot going on with your VSL that's not super persuasive. Here's a few examples, (with a few suggestions)...

In your video, where you talk about how you owned and operated 30 small businesses. Some you started from scratch... some you bought.

Well that all sound good, but...

QUESTION... Were any of them successful businesses?

You may know the answer to that question, but I don't. So it's in your best interest to mention it. That way I can continue with your message, without having that question mark hanging over my head. (it should only take a few words to put my mind at ease).

If they were all successful, then mention it. Just be aware, if you tell me that not even one out of 30 failed, my B.S. filter will engage. (even if it's true) So be careful how you word it.

Also remember, part of my question is... who says so besides you? (a little proof goes a long way)

If some of your businesses failed, even better! Because now you can talk about how you learned valuable lessons, about what does and doesn't work. And you're going to teach me how to NOT make the same mistakes.

Mention how you're video training is going to mentor me to build a successful small business.


There's a few other "squishy" areas in your VSL also. But that "proof and credibility" one really stands out.


Onward...


Then, at the end of your video, your call to action says...

"The form below is where you put in your name and email, so I can send you some small business tips. Ultimately, if you like what you see, then you might like to invest in my small business tips video series."


Yeah, there's not much there that tells me YOU'RE very confident that your program can truly help me. You really need to take it up a notch.

Here's a rough draft for you...


"The form below is where you put in your name and email, so I can send you some proven tips that will start you on your way to small business success. Once you see the value of the training I'm providing you, for free, I'm confident you'll want to invest in your future, by exploring my full training series."

Feel free to use this rough draft, Bill. Adjust it, and test variations to find the sweet spot. But even rough, it's already more compelling.


Moving on...


Your sign up form says "Please Sign Up For Free Business Tips." I understand you're trying to be polite, but it almost sounds like your begging (not very confidence building) At the very least, lose the word "please."

Even better, reiterate the selling point "Enter your name and email, so I can send you some proven tips that will start you on your way to small business success."

And, above your sign up form, where it says "Send Me Business Tips." Take that and turn it into your call to action. Use it as the button text, instead of the text that only says "subscribe."

I could go on, but this is already turning into a novel, instead of a forum post. So just one more suggestion for now...

I don't see your product for sale anywhere on your site. Why not? If you truly believe your program can help me, then why are you denying me the opportunity to improve my lot in life?


The point is, if your sales copy is powerful enough (once you make it powerful enough), some people might want to buy, right now. So let them. If they don't buy now, then getting them to join your email list is still a good second option.

I wish you the best of success with your venture.


All the best,
SAR