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Need input! First product and Site finally up

by jwessa1
7 replies
  • WEB DESIGN
    • |
Hi Warriors,

I have finally taken the leap. Bonzai! - AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
Here are the web addresses to our first two sites for marketing an actual product of our own.

I know there are things wrong but I need a new set of eyes or five to help me with any bugs and copy. I have no idea what I'm doing as far as sales copy goes it's just a rough guess after observing and taking very long pages of notes for two years.
Graphics and layout are ok I think, but I'm new so let me have it with both barrels.

None of this was farmed out we did it all ourselves.
Please note: all of the links ARE ACTIVE! so don't buy it unless of course you want to. (The WSO is the bottom link please make sure you use that one) All of the links are available at the bottom of each page.
The Squeeze page, SalesPage and WSO page are all present in the links at the bottom of the page.
#critique my site #facebook #finally #help on design #input #product #site
  • Profile picture of the author jwessa1
    Disregard the WSO link above and use the new one below this post or use the one at the bottom of the first page link. They are all active just very different prices and BTW this product is not finished yet i have to finish the layout and design and add some more resources and graphics. It ought to take about a week at most. Unless of course I have screwed up this stuff royally then it might take longer. LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author jwessa1
    now it works
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    • Profile picture of the author jonhel
      Congratulations on producing your first site. It's a good initial effort and here's some thoughts after a brief look at the page - please note that I'm not a copywriter.

      * My first thought when I briefly scanned the page was who is Jim, why should I trust him and what is his background with Facebook, i.e. why is he an expert?

      * I would move the social bookmarking links to the bottom of the page since they are a distraction at the top.

      * the headline doesn't do anything for me. It doesn't hold my attention - I've been advised that Facebook is the biggest social site all over the place but I don't think it would keep me reading.

      * The style of the wording next to your logo doesn't work for me.

      * A number of the graphics are blurred on my screen such as the money back guarantee, cover and Paypal.

      * Other than the line "This is what inspired this manual", it was not obvious to me what you were offering and in my opinion this should be more prominent. Perhaps your cover should be at the top of the page so people can instantly tell that it's a downloadable product of some sort.

      * If it is instantly downloadable, then I'd be emphasising this, get it now, no waiting, no shipping costs etc.

      * Can you get some testimonials to add to the page to improve your credibility? I know this is often a catch 22 situation.

      * I'd like to see an About Us area or Contact Us area - I realise that these may still be coming.

      I've also looked behind the scenes at the html and I can see that you've not used inline styling or a cascading style sheet. This will not assist your site in obtaining favorable search engine rankings because there's too many unnecessary tags on the pages.

      Hope this feedback helps.

      Jonathan
      Signature

      Warrior For Hire - Freelance web developer/troubleshooter/fixer etc. - Affordable website help

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      • Profile picture of the author jwessa1
        Originally Posted by jonhel View Post

        Congratulations on producing your first site. It's a good initial effort and here's some thoughts after a brief look at the page - please note that I'm not a copywriter.

        * My first thought when I briefly scanned the page was who is Jim, why should I trust him and what is his background with Facebook, i.e. why is he an expert?

        * I would move the social bookmarking links to the bottom of the page since they are a distraction at the top.

        * the headline doesn't do anything for me. It doesn't hold my attention - I've been advised that Facebook is the biggest social site all over the place but I don't think it would keep me reading.

        * The style of the wording next to your logo doesn't work for me.

        * A number of the graphics are blurred on my screen such as the money back guarantee, cover and Paypal.

        * Other than the line "This is what inspired this manual", it was not obvious to me what you were offering and in my opinion this should be more prominent. Perhaps your cover should be at the top of the page so people can instantly tell that it's a downloadable product of some sort.

        * If it is instantly downloadable, then I'd be emphasising this, get it now, no waiting, no shipping costs etc.

        * Can you get some testimonials to add to the page to improve your credibility? I know this is often a catch 22 situation.

        * I'd like to see an About Us area or Contact Us area - I realise that these may still be coming.

        I've also looked behind the scenes at the html and I can see that you've not used inline styling or a cascading style sheet. This will not assist your site in obtaining favorable search engine rankings because there's too many unnecessary tags on the pages.

        Hope this feedback helps.

        Jonathan
        Hi jonhel,

        Thanks for your help. I appreciate your time and effort immensely.

        There is a css file, it is in an Xsitepro format and is coded so that outside people cannot see it but the spiders can. ( I don't understand that one myself but that is what the company has told me. Apparently the spiders are told where it is before they even see the rest of the pages.)

        Out of curiosity which browser are you using? The graphics are .png - 96 dpi made in PhotoshopCS3 and ImageReady, so I am not sure what to say or do about the graphics problem. If I know which browser your using I might be able to make a header module to fix it.

        The headline is a problem for me, I have a couple of possible solutions to try out but I'm not very good in that department yet. Any suggestions in that direction would help a whole lot! I'm going over to the copyrighting forum in a few minutes to see if I can get some ideas on how to fix it over there.

        I have beta testers going over the manual now so I can try to get a few testimonials for the page. I have two beta testers in England, one in Australia, four in the US and two in Canada. So I'm waiting on responses now.

        The contact us and about us pages are made but not loaded as of yet to avoid any pre-release problems with spam.

        The "downloadable now" idea is great. I hadn't even though about that, its so obvious that I missed it. DUH!

        Thanks for all of your ideas and suggestions I will implement them as soon as possible.

        Thanks so much!

        Jwessa1
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        • Profile picture of the author jonhel
          Try reducing the resolution of those graphics to 72 dpi because that's the resolution for the web.

          I just viewed the site using the four browsers and different screen sizes/resolutions that I test my web development work with and all looks ok other than the graphic issue.

          Sorry, I missed the reference to the stylesheet when I had a look assuming that there wasn't one when I saw all the tags on the page.

          Good idea to visit the copywriter forum. I'm better at site development etc. than the words. There's a lot of free ebooks out there that can assist you to gain skills in that area.

          I like the fact that you've called it a manual instead of an ebook. I am just finalising two ebooks for a client containing kids crafts with photos etc. and we're trying to come up with an alternative to ebook.

          Jonathan
          Signature

          Warrior For Hire - Freelance web developer/troubleshooter/fixer etc. - Affordable website help

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          • Profile picture of the author jwessa1
            Hi jonhel,

            I appreciate all of the input. I am in the process of rewriting most of the sales page after visting the copywriting room and searching some of the white papers. I have a few good ideas and we will see how it all turns out after the rewrite.

            I have an idea for the Craft ebooks, try calling them something like a Craft instruction guide or my personal favorite the Handy, Dandy, eat some candy,- "Craft handbook".
            I used to market information off-line in stores, magazines, newspapers doing local marketing for small companies. I always had a lot of success with the name "handbook". "The Shoppers Handbook" the "Boy Scout handbook" are examples of trusted sources of handbooks.
            The title Handbook has a good background and is usually well recieved. ( I know it is just a mental picture but it is a human brain reaction) People do not expect a handbook to be really big either, so if it is a just a little small that can help your sales out too.

            People have been stolen from by so many marketers using the term ebook, that customers are getting leery of buying them.
            I have been watching some of the testing going on around the internet and ebook is not doing well right now. Manual and Guide seem to be doing decently but no one that I know is testing the term Handbook right now.
            Testing "Handbook" on-line is on my list. I have three more products coming out in the next year. One of which will fit that name nicely.

            Hope it helps!

            Learn, Grow, Succeed, Repeat!
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            • Profile picture of the author jonhel
              No problem. Pleased to have been of help to you.

              Thanks very much for those title suggestions, that's definitely on the right track.

              I've got an ebook here on copywriting which I can email to you if you want it - just PM and I'll arrange it.

              Jonathan
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              Warrior For Hire - Freelance web developer/troubleshooter/fixer etc. - Affordable website help

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