WS critique Would you go for the offer?

Hi,

There are several things that could be changed to improve conversions.

1. The headline looks nice, the attention all struggling internet marketers is good, but maybe a bit bigger? The rest of the headline should address a real problem such as "Not getting the results that you want?". Overall, Accountability Contract Assassin is not very clear as to what the product is, so do a better job of explaining through the copy.

2. The top menu will take away attention and clicks, especially since it's not apparent what this offer is all about.

3. Put the book image on the left and the signup box on the right, next to it and above the fold.

4. Put an arrow and some text that directs visitors to signup using that box. Make it stupid simple to know what to do next "input name here, email here, click here and get this….".

5. Clean up the bullets, Capitalize consistently and make font larger. Possibly a subhead above the bullets saying something like "You can achieve all this and more:"…

6. Get rid of the leave a comment on the bottom.

7. And even more important, even if you do nothing else use a program that records each visit and shows you how they act, where they move their mouse, where they click, etc. This can give you extremely valuable insight as to how your page is performing. Here's a good one that does the first 100 visits a month for free Mouseflow *afflink

Big questions.. how many people know what an accountability contact is, or if they need it? Or why they need it? I've never really heard of it myself.

I was going to say something similar, are you testing this page? Something besides what your ppc network data? Using something like Google Analytics to test different headlines, call to actions, ect. Gotta test, test and test some more. And get your own data.

Similar to what the previous poster mentioned, the bullet points are pretty weak and most of them don't make much sense.

It's been proven that the submit button can increase or decrease conversions, just "Submit" doesn't do much. Some thing like "Give my My ______".

Just some ideas

Hi... theres to much info to go through to attempt to find out what the title product is or can do before you get to the sign up box... asking some one to submit.. like asking them to give in.. "I submit" ... not good and wont covert...

you opt-in box as mentioned above should bet at the top on right just under the heading..there sould be a BIG RED or whatever color arrow pointing to the email adress are and a button with something like.."Instant Access"

I would recomend you take a look at this video on squeeze pages on You tube..this has several videos on squeeze pages..

Wow, 700 visits and no conversions? You may want to consider changing the campaign keywords if possibly. Other than that, our LP looked fine. I hope you arent paying to much for ppc, otherwise your budget is likely to run out soon. Anyway, best of luck bud, and LP's don't always convert every x number of people. Sometimes it just takes persistence to see the conversions start rolling in.

Aside from the book and signup above the fold... Any other suggestions? The campaign converted at about what I expected for my first run...

Your opt in box is still way to far down the page. Also, the titles for each paragraph is center and stretchs across the page, but your paragraphs themselves are left aligned and do not go across the page, just looks odd.

The formatting of of the text, the page is all over the place.

To me, it seems way to much for a squeeze page. But just my opinion. It's almost like information over load to me. And sorry, but some of it doesn't make sense. You could confuse them, or lose them with "too much".

Why not boil it down to 5 or 6 strong and compelling benefits (what it's going to do for them), use them as bullet points? With a good title and your opt-in box in the first screen.

I think you would get a lot better conversion.