Please critique my Six Pack Abs landing page

Hey Vic,

I would remove the social sharing icons. They give people another choice and distract from your message.

Your bullet points:

The Sixpack Formula – What it really takes to get Six Pack Abs. This no B.S. information is rooted in science and years of experience.

>> Most people probably think they have an idea, and the thought of it probably turns them off. They're thinking, work. Both sentences are a bit bland. Try the feature/problem/benefit approach to bullets.

The Ab Avalanche – How to safely trigger your body’s natural hormone systems to zap fat and add lean, ripped muscle to your physique.

>> I'm generally aware of what you're talking about. This bullet is not believable, I'll guess. Lean, ripped muscle as a result of triggering a hormone is not believable. People generally think/know it takes exercise and "work" to get lean, ripped muscles.

Alex’s Secret – A fighter’s top tip for getting incredibly ripped abs with no exercise required!

>> Not believable. Getting incredibly ripped abs "with no exercise required"? Also, Alex is a "fighter," and people will naturally expect him to have ripped abs because he trains so hard. So there is some implied contradiction there.

Work on the bullets and avoid hype and words like, zapped. Make them believable... tease them (the readers) and make them want to know more. A cliffhanger... use the little formula I mentioned above.

I agree with Ken. Take away the social sharing icons from the main page. Put them on the video people will see after they subscribe. Once they share you will redirect the person wanting to see your video to your squeeze page. In other words they will have to give you their info before they can watch it. Letting people share your info on the squeeze page just gives them a reason to leave. Hope that makes sense.

Either the description for the product should be in the sidebar above the opt in form or the opt in form should be below the description. Just my 0.02$

No offense, because it looks good, but from a marketing standpoint, it looks like very other page about six pack abs out there.

Benjamin

Looks nice and clean, that's why I like optimize press

I am going to use PPC to build a list in the weightless niche, I may sign up as an affiliate, send me a PM when you are ready to launch

I'm being 100% constructive when I ask this, but do your abs get any better than they are in the first video? Because you have the shape, but you don't appear to have any depth. When I think ripped abs, I think Greg Plitt abs, not what I've seen so far. Again, no offense meant by this post.

First impressions are that it is a nice, clean looking landing page. I like it a lot!

A few pointers nonetheless:

- At the top you have the word "Revealed". Perfectly cool but personally, I would change it to something that has a bit more of a kick. Perhaps "Uncover..." "Unravel..."Exploit..." etc. Also I would change the color to black or something that gives it a distinct appearance. The grey seems to subtle.

- I agree with Ken about removing the Social Buttons. Simply because it does act as a distraction and breaks up the interest in scrolling down to read more. This may sound like a really picky criticism but unfortunately people are lazy and my rule of thumb is to try to stick with the whole "less is more" theme. Fortunately for you, you don't need too much content as you have got video.

- With your main points I would personally juice them up a bit with some power words to captivate attention and ultimately create curiosity. Here's a online PDF of some Power Words that I tend to check out when writing my sales copy etc >> POWER WORDS

- My last thing would be to remove the "Name" field on your opt-in. Like I said before, people are lazy and do not want to have to hassle with inputting their names and scrolling down pages...human beings never fail to amaze me. Just remember: Less Is More!

Personally they are my only suggestions, other than that you have a solid landing page, great headline IMO, great branding, clear video, simple copy structure....oh and I love "The Ab Avalanche" btw, very intriguing. If you do more of that you will make leads' mouth water like crazy and I am sure your conversions will be badass.

Just my 2 and half cents. Hope this helps!

Best of Luck mate!

If you need a before picture ... I could provide a great one.

I think you need to get someone who is in better shape to make the video. The person in the video looks like just another skinny guy. Abs are ok but nothing special, and the rest of him is scrawny. Nothing personal but Im just saying .. this guys physique still looks weak and unimpressive. No offense meant Im just saying the wording being spoken combined with this guy speaking them just seems silly.

You need to have some six pack graphics on your squeeze page.

The page looks very simple and there is a good chance that you will get a high opt in rate.

I like it.

Add 4 more bullet points and put another opt-in form at the bottom right of your squeeze page.

Thanks all for your honesty and feedback, I truly appreciate it. :-))))

Some responses:

-- I got rid of the social media buttons and rewrote the bullet points to highlight benefits.

-- @Randall Magwood - Thanks. I'm changing the squeeze page to Ryan Deiss' best converting squeeze as we speak.

-- @Dan - awesome resource, thanks man! I'm split testing 4 different headlines ATM, and I'll be sure to try a variation with "discover" after the new control emerges. I'm also removing the NAME field and switching to Ryan Deiss' squeeze page.

-- @KenThompson - I agree that my claims sound unbelievable to an individual who has heard only conventional fitness wisdom. But they're true and I was under the impression that making big promises and delivering on them is the driving force behind copy? What am I missing?

-- @Alex - I've already launched and made a few sales. I was going to wait until I'd tested the bejeezus out of everything and gotten more customer feedback before launching an affiliate program but I'm using DAP so I can bring affiliates on at time. So no use putting off. Let me know :-)

-- @The Haters of my sexy body - haha yes I know I'm not JACKED like some dudes and don't have veins popping out of my veins but if you follow along with me for a second, I'll explain why it makes sense.

When I sat down to create the "customer avatar" for this project, I determined that my ideal business friend is

a) very busy
b) intelligent
c) twenty something to thirty something
d) high disposable income
e) wants a quick, effective solution to shape up without spending loads of time (he's freakin' busy, remember?)

Picture a chubby software engineer who wants to improve his dating life but has no confidence because of his body.

Is he going to identify with a jacked bodybuilder dude barking at him? Does he want THAT kind of physique (which takes tons of time outlay, eating non-stop, and wrecking your body)

OR

Would he maybe spend a hundred bucks to learn how to achieve my kind of physique, which is certainly less grotesque, but completely achievable and easy to maintain using primal nutrition and exercise principles? Hmm..

So, I'm marketing to a very specific audience, and being any more ripped than I am would alienate this audience.

If my reasoning has holes in it, please comment, I'd love to learn from you all :-)

The optin and title needs more of a "call to action".

It's a bit confusing.

The optin says subscribe to watch a video, yet you have a video already playing, then if you scroll down you say you are showing 3 videos.

I think you need a better title (headline), then it needs to be somewhere at the top of site, or right above or below the optin box.

cheers

@Ken Thompson - I think I see your point Ken. It's what the prospect would find believable and not what really IS believable?

@FirstSocial Apps - Thanks for the feedback man. I just want to say I'm really grateful for your honesty. Even as I read your reply, my ego was squirming a bit, which in my experience is a good thing - it means I'm growing. It's funny because the irony of my video and physique clashing with the message never really dawned on me until now.

As you say, I think it's time to change the tempo. I'm trying to sell dudes a ripped six pack when really what I have to offer is a trim, healthy, functional physique with minimal time and effort. So I should focus on that. Thanks again! :-)

@TheSalesBooster - Thanks for the input, brother. If my video is making people chuckle, I need to change it up ASAP haha now I get to chuckle at my own foolishness

@Kruciall - The "intelligent" criterion should really be "educated", because I don't believe the average Joe is any less intelligent than you or I. Intelligence is a tricky word. This really just ties in with the high disposable income part, it's not at all meant to say that only smart people would see the value in this product, just to say that targeting college students who live off ramen, for instance, would be a poor choice of market, while targeting white collar types who make $50k/yr+ makes more business sense. :-)

@jamescanz - thanks man. In light of everybody else's comments, I don't know if you're serious or messing with me, but either way I appreciate it haha!

Victor your a cool a$$ dude. Not many people can take such criticism, even when it was meant to be helpful, like you did and get the positive out of it and not be personally offended. Cool beans for you bro!

I wounder if you could flip the whole argument around and sell against the traditional workout market. There's plenty of research out there documenting that fact that most women (even around the world) prefer someone fit and are turned off by big muscles.

You could use that as the big secret that work out gurus don't want to admit. They're over developing. To feed their own ego (or however you want to frame it).

So you could do still do an appeal to guys who want to attract women. And you could say - most of the advice you're getting is wrong. Most of the programs you see actually work against you and turn off the people you're trying to attract. And you could back that with scientific studies if you wanted to.

But how do you get trim (what women like) when all the gurus teach hormone-engorged size? Here's how. I give it to you straight.

Hi there I think its a great sales page! its good with the video. maybe make the headline a little bigger focusing on the main benefits!! but honestly very well done its not cluttered but straight to the point! how has it done so far?