My Eyes Are Bleeding

Warriors, I've spent the last week searching everywhere for a theme that has the feature I'm looking for.

What I want is a three column theme.... One of the columns will be a permanent static sidebar on the right side of the page.

The other two columns will be for the article plus thumbnail and a sidebar.

What I want to do is have the first article with it's thumbnail starting on the left, and it's sidebar to the right (the middle column). The second article would be floated to the right with it's sidebar on the far left.

The 'third' column will always be static for Meta info etc. and never changes.

The 'Middle' columns will alternate left right left right and so on and so forth.

I want the reader to be 'forced' to read the left sidebar 'widget' after reading the first article and the third article 'force' the reader to see the 'widget' below the article on the right. And so on and so forth alternating with each new article.

The site widgets will be primarily for adsense ads.

Any help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Enjoy!
Mark